1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,935 I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl. 2 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:05,537 So I'm wise and I have worms. 3 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,272 Now. 4 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,141 Oh! Breakfast. 5 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,010 I got you your sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. 6 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:15,981 Yummy, yummy. Thank you, Ryan. 7 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:19,385 What was the thing you needed me to come in early for? 8 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,053 Um... 9 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,455 the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. 10 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:27,559 But thank you, and why don't you just... 11 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,827 Take a couple of hours. 12 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:29,928 Office is yours. 13 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,431 Home Alone, Risky Business. 14 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,435 Take your pants off, run around. 15 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:37,970 Whatever you wanna do. 16 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,439 I'm just gonna take a nap in my car till work starts. 17 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,540 Okay. 18 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,544 See? Healthier. 19 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,013 Gotta watch those carbs. 20 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,849 Today I, Michael Scott, am becoming a homeowner. 21 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,284 Investing in real estate. 22 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,785 Diversifying. Smart. 23 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,254 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 24 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,957 It is very important to own property. 25 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,592 Back in olden days, 26 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,861 they would not even let you vote 27 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,229 unless you owned property. 28 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,832 They'd throw you in the stocks and humiliate you. 29 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:40,866 And it worked. Yes. 30 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,101 We should bring the stocks back. 31 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,135 People will obey the law. 32 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,269 There'd be less troublemakers. 33 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,271 Maybe. 34 00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:56,215 Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. 35 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,750 I think today it was the expense reports 36 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,385 that did him in. 37 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,753 And, uh, our deal is 38 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,022 that it's up to me to revive him. 39 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,958 You see Dwight's coffee mug? Mm-hmm. 40 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,326 Sometimes when he's not here, 41 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,027 I try to throw stuff in it. 42 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,663 No way. 43 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:13,899 Let's do this. 44 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,537 Oh! 45 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:22,074 Here. Try paper clips. 46 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,976 Oh, wait. This message. 47 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,644 For Dwight. 48 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,645 Perfect. 49 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,215 Uh! Oh! 50 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,316 You should go. 51 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,417 Yes. Yes. 52 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,652 Final walkthrough. Mm-hmm. 53 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,053 Sign the papers at the condo. 54 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,388 You have your lawyer there? 55 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,956 Uh, I don't need one. Can I be your representative? 56 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,791 I don't need a representative. I think I should be there. 57 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,893 No, no. No, I'm good. 58 00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,127 I can make sure things are up to code. 59 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,428 No, Dwight. I'm fine. Please? 60 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,130 I'm always the guy that you rely on at work. 61 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,131 Well, this isn't about work. 62 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,466 This is closing on a condo. 63 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:48,567 It's completely personal. 64 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,536 So you're taking a personal day? 65 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:52,804 Accept that 66 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,373 this is about my living arrangement, 67 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,807 and as boss, 68 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,876 I need to have a living arrangement 69 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,111 in order to do work. 70 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,479 Please? 71 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,147 I'll make you proud. 72 00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,849 Okay, fine. Yes, you can come. 73 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:04,917 Yes! As your representative? 74 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:05,984 As my associate. 75 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,053 Same thing. No, it is not. 76 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,621 I have been Michael's number two guy 77 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,523 for about five years. 78 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,258 And we make a great team. 79 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,527 We're like one of those classic, famous teams. 80 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,562 He's like Mozart, 81 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:20,265 and I'm like... Mozart's friend. 82 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,300 No. 83 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,468 I'm like Butch Cassidy, 84 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:27,105 and Michael is like Mozart. 85 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,208 You try and hurt Mozart, 86 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,143 you're gonna get a bullet in your head 87 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,111 courtesy of Butch Cassidy. 88 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:36,248 Oh, most honorable Pamera. 89 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:39,651 Not offensive because that's the way they talk in movies. 90 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,919 You headed out? Uh, we are. 91 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,421 Dwight and I are going to the big thing. 92 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,723 So why don't you have everybody 93 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,258 work on their expense reports, 94 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,360 and I'd like them in by the end of the day. 95 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,461 Okay. Very good. 96 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,562 Have a great time. We will. 97 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,630 Um, did you do the thing 98 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,131 I asked you to do about the magazines? 99 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,533 Yeah, I changed them to your new address. 100 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:55,901 Good. The... 101 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,269 Small Businessman? Yep. 102 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,405 Maxim? American Way? 103 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,540 Cracked? 104 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,841 Yes. 105 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,611 I changed your Cracked magazine subscription. 106 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:08,480 How about m... uh, 107 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:13,585 Fine Arts... Aficionado Monthly? 108 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,853 No? Okay. 109 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,221 Well, could you get on that? 110 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,823 'Cause I don't just read Cracked. 111 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,191 Thank you. 112 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,026 Okay. See you soon. 113 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,061 What kinda shocks you got on this baby? 114 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,631 I don't know. Regular, normal ones. 115 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,799 Nothin' fancy. 116 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,835 Not my style. 117 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,103 What are you doin'? 118 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,271 I wanna put the top down. 119 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,939 No, Dwight. It's 50 degrees outside. 120 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,040 Don't... Please. 121 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,808 Yeah, but then no one can see us. 122 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,144 I... Just, would you put it up? 123 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,380 Okay. Fine. 124 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,714 Just leave it down. 125 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,183 Whiner. 126 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,818 Check it out. 127 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,587 Terminator. 128 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,790 I do not understand what you spend your money on. 129 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,392 Ooh. 130 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,526 Hey, Oscar. 131 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,627 Um, these new expense reports. 132 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,596 Do we really have to go back to last quarter? 133 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,697 Yeah. 134 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,399 It's a terrible system, I know. 135 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,900 What? 136 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,303 What does "2005 season" mean? 137 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,370 Tha... 138 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,938 Wait a minute. What is this? 139 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,006 It's a scoreboard. 140 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,608 What? 141 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,209 Kevin and I play this paper football game 142 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,344 when Michael's out. Really? 143 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,578 Yeah. Or when we're bored. 144 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,347 Oh, my God! 145 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,516 Wait, this goes back two years! 146 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,584 We're bored a lot. 147 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,987 Oh-ho. Oh! 148 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,288 Sweet. Yes! 149 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,990 So close. 150 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,358 I really love the, uh, 151 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,894 paper triangle flicking and hitting things game. 152 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,395 Yeah. We call it Hateball. 153 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,697 Why? 154 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,599 Because of how much Angela hates it. 155 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:37,035 Hey, do you guys have any other games? 156 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,270 Sometimes we play 157 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,505 Who Can Put the Most m&ms in Their Mouth? 158 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,407 You play that. 159 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,542 You should ask Toby 160 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,110 to teach you Dunderball. 161 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,113 Home sweet home. 162 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,882 Which one's yours? 163 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,384 Right there. 164 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,885 My sanctuary. 165 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,420 My party pad. 166 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,856 Someday I can just see 167 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,092 my grandkids 168 00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,960 learning how to walk out here. 169 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:05,597 Hang a swing from this tree. 170 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,432 Push 'em back... 171 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,035 Wait. 172 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,237 No, it's this one right here. 173 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,005 Home sweet home. 174 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,078 So that's what this sound is all day. 175 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,447 Michael, this is Bill. 176 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,015 He's the head of the Condo Association. 177 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,117 Oh! Hey, how are you? 178 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:26,284 Nice to meet you, Bill. 179 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,419 Bill. Mr. Bill. 180 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,855 Oh, no! 181 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,024 Mr. Bill! Whoa! Ho-Ho! 182 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,593 SNL? 183 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,194 When they pull him apart? 184 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,765 He would always get rolled over by something. 185 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,900 N-Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. 186 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,535 This is smaller than your old place. 187 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,837 Yes, well, I'm buying it and I'm not renting it. 188 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,340 So it's still an upgrade. 189 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:52,277 He doesn't know anything about property ownership. 190 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,812 He's kind of an idiot. Um... 191 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,814 Actually, I do own property. 192 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:56,982 My grandfather left me 193 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,017 a 60-acre working beet farm. 194 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,086 I run it with my cousin Mose. 195 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,422 We sell beets to local stores 196 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,357 and restaurants. 197 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:06,658 It's a nice little farm. 198 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,496 Sometimes teenagers use it for sex. 199 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,131 Are we ready to sign some papers? 200 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,132 Actually, no. 201 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,634 We have a couple of questions, 202 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,402 uh, about the neighborhood. 203 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,304 I-It's very safe. It's very clean. 204 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,473 Uh, also, it's very accepting 205 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,475 of all lifestyles. 206 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,612 It's a very gay-friendly neighborhood. 207 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,316 Oh, good. That's good. 208 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:34,519 It's good to be accommodating of... that. 209 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,756 Let's go check out the master bedroom. 210 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,291 Stanley. 211 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,826 Just played Dunderball with Toby... 212 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,561 What about you? Do you have any games? 213 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,029 Yeah, I got a game. 214 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,932 It's called Work Hard So My Kids Can Go To College. 215 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,667 Fair enough. 216 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,837 This, my friends, 217 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,239 is the master bedroom. 218 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,707 Check out the cathedral ceilings. 219 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,243 Those are, like, 17 feet high. 220 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,812 We have cable readiness right there. 221 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,747 I am going to totally pimp this place out. 222 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,217 I am going to put a surround sound system. 223 00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:06,685 I am going to put a plasma screen 224 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,153 right against this wall. 225 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,554 Ooh, terrible idea. 226 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,822 'Cause I'm putting my bed right over here. 227 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,357 No, no, no, no, no. This is a shared wall. 228 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,925 Neighbor throws his wife into the wall, 229 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,760 plasma screen hits the floor, totally smashed. 230 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,562 Well, the I will get a warranty. 231 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,431 Warranties don't cover it. Plus, they're a rip-off. 232 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,765 Well, then I won't get a warranty. Christina! 233 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,701 Shh! So, that's the problem. It's solved. 234 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,603 What? I don't hear you practicing. 235 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:25,704 Can you hear that? 236 00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,608 Oh, man! 237 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,043 These babies are thin! 238 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,422 This scented candle 239 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,724 ...andle... andle... 240 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,493 Which I found in the men's bathroom, room, room... 241 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:52,264 Represents the eternal... 242 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:57,168 burning of competition or something. 243 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,703 It smells like cookies. 244 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,171 Yes, it does. 245 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,674 Yes, it does, my friend. 246 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,209 Okay, we will be competing 247 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,478 for gold, silver, and bronze 248 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,879 yogurt lids. 249 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,681 Now, the bronze are really blue. 250 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,416 And they're also the backside of the gold, 251 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,517 so no flipping. 252 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,419 Okay? Honor system. 253 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,559 I do play games. 254 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,760 I sing. 255 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,062 And I dangle things in front of my cats. 256 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,931 I play lots of games. 257 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,766 Just not at work. 258 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,301 Let the games begin. 259 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,876 And then I just need you to sign here at this arrow. 260 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,477 What kind of mortgage did you get? 261 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,179 Uh, 10-year. 262 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,281 Well, 10 over 30, 263 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,683 so 30-year total. 264 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,585 What? Wha... 265 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:49,821 You said 10. S... 266 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,356 10-year fixed... 267 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,624 over 30. 268 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,292 30-year total. 269 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,727 Huh. 30 years. 270 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,195 Okay, okay, okay. 271 00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,165 Wow, you'll be payin' this off in your mid 70s. 272 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,299 All right. 273 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,835 Forget about retiring when you're 65. 274 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,070 Hey, I've got an idea. 275 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,271 You know that extra bedroom? 276 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,872 If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, 277 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,274 that's where the nurse can live. 278 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,242 Okay, all right. 279 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,278 Oh, boy. Well, this is it. 280 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,646 Whenever you're ready. 281 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,014 Yeah. Um... 282 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,850 Ho. Ho-okay. 283 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,185 Is that supposed to come off? 284 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,987 Actually, yes. Hey, look, cool. Carpenter ants. 285 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,823 Um... Gonna take a little, uh, breather 286 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,857 for a second. 287 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,258 Excuse me. 288 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,393 It'll be here waiting for you. 289 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,961 Oh, man. 290 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,229 A 30-year mortgage 291 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,464 at Michael's age 292 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,399 essentially means that he's buying a coffin. 293 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,201 If I were buying my coffin, 294 00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:38,269 I would get one with thicker walls 295 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,672 so you couldn't hear the other dead people. 296 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,111 Oh! Whenever you're ready, Michael. 297 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,679 Ugh! 298 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:50,615 You have what is the national sport 299 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,651 of Icelandic paper companies. 300 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,853 And I'm blanking on the name. 301 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,588 Could you help me out, Pam? 302 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,790 Jim, they refer to it as... 303 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,725 Flonkerton. 304 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:01,826 Hmm. 305 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:02,927 In English, 306 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,229 Box of Paper Snowshoe Racing. 307 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,664 Fair enough, 308 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,565 but I like Flonkerton. 309 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,368 The thing about Jim is, 310 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,070 when he's excited about something, 311 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,638 like the office Olympics, 312 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,073 he gets really into it 313 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,676 and he does a really great job. 314 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,344 But the problem with Jim 315 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,745 is that he works here, 316 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,648 so that hardly ever happens. 317 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,117 So who will be challenging Kevin 318 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,385 in Flonkerton? 319 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,120 Anyone. 320 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,188 I'll do it. 321 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,823 Yes! Phyllis! 322 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,295 Phyllis, if you'd just put your foot right through here. 323 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,097 Right through the flonk. 324 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,100 The ceilings are lower than they were last week. 325 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,234 That... I don't... 326 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,836 What? I don't know if you showed me 327 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,071 this same unit or not. 328 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,139 Where... Michael, this is the unit you saw, and... 329 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,542 Where are all the hot people? 330 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,110 I was told that there would be 331 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,678 all these attractive singles. 332 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,680 Who told you that? And as far as I can tell, 333 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,182 I'm the best-looking person here. 334 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,550 There's a basic principle in real estate 335 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,251 that you should never be 336 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,153 the best-looking person in the development. 337 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,655 It's just sorta common sense, 338 00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:04,856 because if you are, 339 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:09,427 then you have no place to go but down. 340 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,628 Is this a financial thing? 341 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,930 If it's financial thing, 342 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,865 what some people do is, they rent out the third bedroom. 343 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,366 No, no. No, no, no, no. 344 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,601 And that's some extra income for you. 345 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,336 I am not going to rent the third bedroom. 346 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:22,173 I want a price reduction or I am a-walkin'. 347 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:27,078 You will lose $7,000 if you walk away right now. 348 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,379 Muh... 349 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,583 I made the right decision. 350 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,151 I'm glad I signed. 351 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,552 The... I'm a homeowner. 352 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,054 Right? 353 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,655 Good to be a homeowner. Diversifying. 354 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,457 This is good. 355 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,426 This is fun. We're havin' fun. 356 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,627 Totally havin' fun. 357 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,028 Can you imagine those poor saps 358 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,497 stuck at the office today? 359 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,400 Here we go. Here we go. 360 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,003 Dig deep. 361 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,505 Dig deep! 362 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,141 Oh! 363 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,242 It's Phyllis! It's Phyllis. 364 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,343 Phyllis by a nose. 365 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,978 Gold medal in Flurnenton. 366 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,179 Flonkerton! 367 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,214 Thank you, delegate from Iceland. 368 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,189 Wow. Okay. 369 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,124 No one else should even try. 370 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,292 Gold medals. 371 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,494 Give him medals. 372 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,329 Wow! 373 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,133 There's somethin' else, Dwight, 374 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,735 wanted to talk to you about. 375 00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,470 I have a surprise for you. 376 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,738 For helpin' me out today. 377 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,506 Oh, you didn't have to do... No. 378 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,707 No. I insist, I insist. 379 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,209 Because you've really done some great work. 380 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,377 Great work! 381 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,712 And that is why I am going to let you 382 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:37,081 move into my third bedroom 383 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,083 and pay me rent. 384 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,587 Why did I do it? 385 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,456 Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. 386 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,893 Uh, I rewarded Dwight 387 00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,528 with the room, 388 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,164 and he is rewarding me back 389 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,201 with, uh, $500 plus utilities. 390 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,269 I don't even know what to say. 391 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,806 I'm thinkin', lock into a four-year commitment. 392 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,541 We'll go month-to-month after that. 393 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,476 Or until I start dating, 394 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,111 have a girlfriend. 395 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,413 And then you're, you know, 396 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,480 you're gone, so... 397 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,383 Question: Where can I put my terrarium? 398 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,054 What hell is a terrarium? 399 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,656 It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards. 400 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,358 Oh, so, an aquarium? 401 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,628 Uh, that... 402 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,064 will not come into this place. 403 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,632 Okay? Question: 404 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,733 Oh, my God. 405 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,001 My grandparents left me 406 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,637 a large number of armoires. 407 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,072 Are you sure you don't wanna play? 408 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,139 I'm sure. 409 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,941 Come on, Angela. Don't you have a game? 410 00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:39,077 I have one, yes. 411 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,212 Well, let's play. What is it? 412 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,147 I call it Pam Pong. 413 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,483 I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk 414 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,619 and goes to reception to talk to you. 415 00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,287 We're friends. 416 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,222 Apparently. 417 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,957 Very nicely done. 418 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,660 Okay, so, think that's H-O-R for Stanley 419 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,128 and H-O for Phyllis. 420 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,429 Are you calling me a ho? 421 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,198 Oh, my God. 422 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,734 Phyllis coming alive. I like it. 423 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,003 Question: What about carpooling? 424 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,204 Uh, who pays for the gas? 425 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,338 We take separate cars. 426 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,806 Then question: Can sometimes I drive your car 427 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:09,807 and you drive mine? 428 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:10,875 Why would we do that? 429 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,310 Just for fun? No. 430 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,045 Question: Who's the primary on the fire insurance? 431 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,115 Game over! 432 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,851 Offer revoked, Dwight. 433 00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:21,019 I'm sorry, 434 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,321 but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy 435 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,455 and help out a friend, 436 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,124 and this is what happens. 437 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,825 This is what I get. 438 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,061 I... God. 439 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,230 I'm... Okay. 440 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,431 Ooh. 441 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,999 Thank God. 442 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,634 It was nice of him to offer. 443 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,070 But I live in a nine-bedroom farmhouse. 444 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,239 I have my own crossbow range. 445 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,207 It's a perfect situation for me. 446 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,543 Although two bathrooms would have been nice. 447 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,111 We just have the one. 448 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,415 And it's under the porch. 449 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,516 Ding! 450 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:52,850 Ah! Oh! 451 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,452 Who had somebody from Van's Refrigeration? 452 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,120 Ryan Howard. 453 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,156 Ryan. 454 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,091 Gold medal. 455 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,493 I made something for our closing ceremonies. 456 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,661 What? 457 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,129 Oh, my God! 458 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,998 Where'd you have time to make that? 459 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,466 Automatic voice mail. 460 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,601 All right, Pam. All right. 461 00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,638 Nice work. 462 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,116 You know you can always refinance your mortgage. 463 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,452 We had a 15-year on our beet farm. 464 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,586 We paid it off early. 465 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,587 Yeah, well, you know what? 466 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,656 Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. 467 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,658 Beets are the worst. 468 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,426 People love beets. Nobody likes beets. 469 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,427 Everyone loves beets. 470 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:39,063 Nobody likes beets, Dwight! 471 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,466 Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? 472 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,568 You should grow candy. 473 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,805 I'd love a piece of candy right now. 474 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,208 Not a beet. 475 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,542 Let's get this roof goin'. 476 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,011 Stop it! Ow! 477 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,479 Final lap! Final lap! 478 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,613 Oscar! 479 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:56,881 Time to beat is 1:15. 480 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,150 Time to beat is one minute, 15 seconds. 481 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,385 Here they come! 482 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:07,358 Guys? 483 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:10,628 What is going on? 484 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,896 Nothing. 485 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,465 Guys? Timer still goin'? Or... 486 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,000 That's my stopwatch. 487 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,687 There you go. All done. 488 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,222 Great. 489 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:41,025 Yeah, I filled out the expense reports. 490 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,460 That took about five minutes. 491 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,530 And then I closed two sales at lunchtime. 492 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,567 So... about as productive as any other day. 493 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,236 If not more so. 494 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,245 I figured I could throw it away now, 495 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,881 or I could keep it for a couple of months 496 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,783 and then throw it away. 497 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,919 I mean, it was really nice of Pam to make them, 498 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,955 but what am I gonna do with a gold medal 499 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:15,726 made of paper clips and an old yogurt lid? 500 00:18:23,735 --> 00:18:24,902 Hey. 501 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,270 I have 59 voice mails. 502 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,371 Mm. 503 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,907 Hey, can you ignore those 504 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,143 and do something for me instead? 505 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,778 Sure. 506 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,946 Okay. 507 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,482 Today, 5:00... 508 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,117 closing ceremonies. 509 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,485 Really? 510 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,153 Notify the athletes. 511 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,688 Cool. 512 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,258 Michael. 513 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,227 Yeah? Jim. Slim Jim. 514 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,063 What's goin'... What's goin' on? 515 00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:54,465 Nothin'. I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo. 516 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,067 Oh, thanks. 517 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,735 Thanks. It's very cool. 518 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,837 It's, uh, three bedroom, gay-friendly. 519 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,672 Nice. You know. 520 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,541 Hey, would you mind comin' out here for a second? 521 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,842 I just have something for you. 522 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,144 Really? 523 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,381 What's this? 524 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,316 There are the closing ceremonies. 525 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,651 Step up. 526 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,219 W... Um... 527 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:17,822 You're on the top one. 528 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,591 Congratulations to Michael 529 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,827 because he closed on his condo. 530 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,195 So gold medal. 531 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,571 I don't really know what to say. 532 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:34,539 Um... 533 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,743 I'm not one for making speeches, 534 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:41,145 but, uh... 535 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,915 my heart is very full at this moment. 536 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,787 And for Dwight Schrute, the silver medal. 537 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,690 Get on up here, Dwight. 538 00:19:58,864 --> 00:19:59,997 Silver medal. 539 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,066 Yep. Not as good as gold. 540 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,575 Why are you playing the national anthem? 541 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:14,145 Um, 'cause your condo's in America. 542 00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,113 Oh. 543 00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,020 What the hell is that? 544 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,755 Those are the doves. 545 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:55,720 All right!