1 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,908 Happy Halloween, everyone. 2 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:12,011 Oh, that's great. Hey. 3 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:13,879 Happy Halloween. 4 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,647 Jan called. 5 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,951 O...kay. 6 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,988 I know why she's calling. 7 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,223 It's the end of the month, 8 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,958 and I was supposed to let somebody go 9 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,726 by the end of the month. 10 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,563 And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. 11 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,601 Okay. 12 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,002 Jan Levinson's office. 13 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,171 Hey, Sherri, Michael Scott returning. 14 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,606 Oh, she's in a meeting. 15 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,475 She just wanted the name of the employee you let go. 16 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,277 Well, I'm gonna wait 'til the end of the day. 17 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,746 Because the book said it's best to wait 'til the end of the day. 18 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,215 I just need the name of who you're planning to let go. 19 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,385 I..don't... know... yet. 20 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,120 I will have to call her back. 21 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,223 I know she wanted the name. 22 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,658 Okay, Sherri? 23 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,160 Yeah? 24 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:04,997 If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told 25 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:06,498 so that you could still be friends 26 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,200 with the person firing you? 27 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,171 Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael. 28 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,106 Thanks. Mmm-hmm. 29 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,040 I'll call her back. 30 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:19,478 Wish I could fire Sherri. 31 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,280 Hey, I'm still here. Okay. 32 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,781 I'm sorry. Yeah. 33 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:23,982 No? Okay. 34 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,285 Bye. Hanging up now. 35 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,791 I mean, you hear about layoffs in the news, 36 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,626 but when you actually have to do it yourself, 37 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,428 it is heavy stuff. 38 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,996 It's... 39 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:14,166 I mean, these are people's lives you're talking about. 40 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,034 You wanted me? Yes. 41 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,444 Papier-mâché? Yes. 42 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,479 Yesh. Hmm. 43 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:32,351 Um, Pam I have to let somebody go today. 44 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,354 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 45 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,556 Why did you put it off until Halloween? 46 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,025 Because it's very scary stuff. 47 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,294 Well, I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little. 48 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,829 You're worried about the party? 49 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,164 There's a man's life at stake here. 50 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,932 So it's a man? No. 51 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,135 Or a woman. A human life. 52 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,237 If you had to guess, 53 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,974 who would it be, based on their job performance? 54 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,943 And who do you think deserves to be fired? 55 00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:58,944 Who would that be? 56 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,713 I just answer the phone. 57 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,817 And sometimes you just let it go to voice mail. 58 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,927 Your costume is fantastic. 59 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,829 I know. 60 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,732 I sent away for it in July from a catalog. 61 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,269 Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't. 62 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,571 Aah. 63 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,706 Okay. 64 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:32,144 Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody. 65 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,483 What is that? What are you supposed to be? 66 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,321 I'm a three-hole punch version of Jim. 67 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,789 'Cause he can have me either way. 68 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,225 Plain white Jim, or three-hole punch. 69 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:49,027 - That's great. - Oh, yeah. 70 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,930 Yeah, well, look. What about me? 71 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:57,603 What are you? A monk? 72 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,938 I am a Sith Lord. 73 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,775 Oh, big deal. 74 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,745 Three round pieces of paper taped to his shirt. 75 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,648 This cost me $129. 76 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,483 Ass. 77 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,390 Hey, you guys excited about the party? 78 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,893 It's gonna be fun. Yeah. 79 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,063 Oh, look at you. Showing your colors. 80 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,199 Bet you wish you wore a dress every day. 81 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,500 What are you implying? 82 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,602 All good. Happy Halloween. 83 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,338 What happened to all those spooky decorations that we had? 84 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,008 The cobwebs and such? 85 00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,377 I don't know. We put them all up last night. 86 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,016 Well, you know what? Go buy some more. 87 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,417 I'll approve the overages. 88 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,052 Sound good? Yeah. 89 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,820 Good. 90 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:52,057 Oh, yeah, also, about budget stuff, 91 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:55,193 um, I need you to find, like a... 92 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,096 a full employee salary plus benefits, like 50 grand. 93 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,633 I'm gonna need you to find 50 grand in the numbers. 94 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,502 But we don't keep two cents... 95 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,003 Well, that's not what I'm saying. 96 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,271 Just, you know, find it. 97 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:09,107 Pretend that your jobs depend on it. 98 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,782 Mmm-hm-hmm. 99 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,418 Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. 100 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,019 Hey, you know what would even be better? 101 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,888 Soccer ball and cleats. 102 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,389 Why is that? 103 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,657 Bend It Like Beckham. 104 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,726 Oh, like, the movie about the Indian girl 105 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,461 who plays soccer? 106 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,829 Yeah. 107 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,531 That would be perfect. 108 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,300 Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. 109 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,836 I don't really play soccer or anything. 110 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,672 Well, I don't really have two heads, so. 111 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,408 Wait, what are you again? Oh, right. 112 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,910 Three-hole punch! 113 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,682 Okay, greatest strength. 114 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,751 Okay, okay. 115 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,853 A doglike obedience to authority. 116 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:55,654 Nice. 117 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:58,924 That doesn't sound good. Okay, okay. 118 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:02,728 Um, how 'bout the ultimate team player? 119 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,930 Dwight is special, 120 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,866 but I don't believe that his talents are being used 121 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,267 in this office. 122 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,503 So Pam and I have put his résumé 123 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:15,006 on monster.com, Google, craigslist. 124 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,676 We're really interested most in jobs 125 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,444 that take Dwight out of state. 126 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,347 Um, preferably Alaska. Or India. 127 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,883 He's a gun nut. Mmm. 128 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,686 Sticks to his guns. 129 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,722 Well, I looked through all the budgets. 130 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,491 And there is one department... Yes? 131 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,092 That has three people... Yeah? 132 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,294 Doing the work that could be done by two. 133 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,396 This is great. 134 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:41,800 Oh. 135 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:46,171 Yeah. Oh. 136 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,306 Who do you think it should be? Jim, definitely. 137 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,608 No, Jim brings in money. 138 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,443 Phyllis. Eh. 139 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:55,213 Stanley. Pam. Oscar. Meredith. 140 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,849 Kevin. Angela. 141 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,651 It's not a popularity contest. 142 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,621 Although it does make sense to fire the least popular, 143 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:06,558 because it has the least effect on morale. 144 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,460 One of the warehouse guys. 145 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,163 What? 146 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,598 There was someone left off that list? 147 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,600 Who? Who is he saying? 148 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:19,771 You're right. I didn't even think of him. 149 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,840 No, Michael. 150 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,675 Yeah, that's actually a really good idea. 151 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,645 No, not me. Yeah, I could. 152 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,146 Not Dwight. 153 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,614 I'm not saying that's what he said. 154 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,550 I know that's what he said. 155 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,651 What? 156 00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:35,287 Tell him not Dwight. 157 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,589 That is not a very nice thing to say about him. 158 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,324 Tell him to stop. Are you kidding? 159 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,525 Quiet you. 160 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,294 I agree. He'd land on his feet. 161 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,029 Make him be quiet. 162 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,167 Those aren't chips and dip. 163 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,436 No, I made brownies. 164 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,539 What? 165 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,275 I'm just trying to figure out why you're sabotaging things. 166 00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,611 I made brownies. 167 00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:03,081 And I made cookies. Same category. 168 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,520 I'm guessing Angela's the one in the neighborhood 169 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:13,758 who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes. 170 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,094 Pennies. 171 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:17,996 Walnuts. 172 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,832 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 173 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,868 Uh, yeah. 174 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,136 Just one second. 175 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,540 I will transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott. 176 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,681 Michael Scott here. 177 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:41,253 Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice. 178 00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:43,288 Mmm-hmm. 179 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,424 Dwight Schrute is amazing. 180 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,059 Yeah. 181 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,996 No, he is actually the single greatest employee 182 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,998 of his generation. 183 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,533 Mmm-hmm. 184 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,101 You know what? I'm gonna tell you what. 185 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,603 You hire Dwight K. Schrute, 186 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,805 and he does not meet, nay, 187 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:05,143 exceed every one of your wildest expectations, 188 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,279 well, then you can hold me, 189 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:09,948 Michael Gary Scott, 190 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,651 personally and financially responsible. 191 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,653 Okay. Okay. 192 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,721 Okay-kay-kay-kay. 193 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,056 Okay. 194 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,764 Stanley, could you come with me, please. 195 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,265 No. 196 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,304 As assistant regional manager... 197 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,205 To the... Look. 198 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,308 I've got some bad news. 199 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,442 You're fired. 200 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,311 You need to pack up your things and go. 201 00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,846 I'm serious, Stanley. 202 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,115 It's over, I'm sorry. 203 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,984 You're fired. 204 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,852 Get your fingers off my phone. 205 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,027 So, how did it go with Stanley? 206 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,596 How... how'd he take it? 207 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,564 He wouldn't listen to me. Oh, come on. 208 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,866 If you wanna fire him, you're gonna have to tell him yourself. 209 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,035 I don't wanna fire Stanley. I never said that. 210 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,972 I'm certainly not going to do it myself. 211 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,408 Get those big, baleful eyes staring at me. 212 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,943 Yikes. 213 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,478 Okay, just... 214 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,415 Cumberland Mills? 215 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,218 And how did you get my résumé? 216 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,153 Oh, no, no. I'm very flattered. 217 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,622 Don't get me wrong. 218 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,324 I'm just not sure that it's my official résumé, 219 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,361 or if it's something that maybe 220 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,931 a satisfied customer posted online. 221 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:36,434 What does it say under martial arts training? 222 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,871 Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that. 223 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,440 Could I have your fax number? 224 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,409 Would I ever leave this company? 225 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,211 Look, I'm all about loyalty. 226 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,679 In fact, I feel like 227 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:51,182 part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty. 228 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,651 But if there were somewhere else 229 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,220 that valued that loyalty more highly, 230 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:59,658 I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most. 231 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,262 Oh, hey. 232 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,931 Oh, your dress is stuck in the back. 233 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,801 Oh. 234 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,406 So you got the fax? 235 00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:16,775 So why didn't you add it to the res... 236 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,043 What do you mean? 237 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,511 Of course martial arts training is relevant. 238 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,179 Oh, excuse me. 239 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,915 I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ. 240 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,785 Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated 241 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,420 when I'm dealing with incompetence. 242 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:30,155 Well, you know what? You can go to hell too. 243 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,624 And I will see you there... burning. 244 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,392 Fine. Okay, wait. 245 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,928 So you'll let me know when you've made a decis... 246 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,668 Jim is really talented. 247 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:47,439 And he should be the one who's getting a better job offer. 248 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:48,473 Like, for real. 249 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,041 Don't take this the wrong way, 250 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,478 but you should go for that job. 251 00:11:56,615 --> 00:12:00,318 Um, it's in Maryland. 252 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,020 Yeah. 253 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,621 But, I mean, look at the salary. 254 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,057 And it's definitely a step up. 255 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,526 And a challenge. 256 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,863 Yeah. 257 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,769 Yeah, you know what? Maybe... 258 00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,572 Maybe I will. 259 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,743 Jim... 260 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:30,415 This is called leveraging an offer. 261 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,852 Michael, can I talk to you for a moment? Oh, God. 262 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,653 I just thought you should know 263 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:39,457 that I was just offered a job with better pay, 264 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:43,161 better benefits and a better title at Cumberland Mills. 265 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,496 Fantastic. 266 00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:45,730 And I turned it down. 267 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,299 What? That would've solved all my problems. 268 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,769 Out of loyalty to this company... 269 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,370 Oh, you idiot. 270 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,073 So I was hoping to be made assistant regional manager. 271 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,909 If you left, I wouldn't have to fire anybody. 272 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,377 But then you wouldn't have me here. 273 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,113 Big deal, oh, it would've worked out so well. 274 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,414 Can you get it back? 275 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,482 It's in Maryland. 276 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,917 You can call. Can you call 'em? 277 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,820 I can't... I... I suppose I... no. 278 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,588 They never really made me an offer anyway. 279 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,125 Why are you torturing me? 280 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,260 God. 281 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:20,198 Honestly, I don't think that Michael has the slightest clue 282 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,933 of who he's going to fire. 283 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,102 I think he keeps hoping that someone's going to volunteer. 284 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,839 Uh, or be run over by a bus before the deadline. 285 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,674 But in the end, really what's going to happen is 286 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,409 it's gonna be the first person to give him 287 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,644 a dirty look in the hall. 288 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,148 And therein lies the true essence of his charisma. 289 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,919 Can I speak to you a minute? 290 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,854 Um... yes. 291 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,746 Michael, I really didn't mean to... 292 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,815 Help me. 293 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,183 I'm sorry? 294 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,352 I want you to role play firing me. 295 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,288 I want you to fire me, and I will take it. 296 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,857 Oh, you want me to be you? Yes. 297 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,025 I want you to be me, and I will be Creed. 298 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,727 Oh, are you firing Creed? No, no. 299 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:26,664 No, that's just first... thing. Can't... in head. 300 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,900 We should switch seats in order to... 301 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,035 Yes, that's a good idea. 302 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,771 Excuse me. 303 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,012 I'm really sorry, but I have to let you go. 304 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,214 And it's purely budgetary. 305 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,883 It's not personal... 306 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,685 I'm gonna kill myself! 307 00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,820 Wow. 308 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,488 I'm going to kill myself! 309 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,856 And it's your fault! 310 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,358 That's an overreaction. 311 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,127 Corporate is really breathing down my neck. 312 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,129 And they're saying this has to be done 313 00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,597 by the end of the month. 314 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,766 Is this you? Are you being you, or is this Creed? 315 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:05,870 I... this is Creed. 316 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:08,206 Okay. I'm improvising, so just try to keep up. 317 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,774 And I'm very angry. 318 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,376 Hold that thought. Creed? 319 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,544 Michael Scott here. I'm gonna kill you for firing me. 320 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,013 Toby? Mmm-hmm? 321 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,215 I really have to take this, Creed, so it was really worth... 322 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,084 Get off, get off. No, no. 323 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:28,493 Just, just... yeah. 324 00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:31,663 What happened? 325 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,398 It wasn't me. Oh. 326 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,899 That was, like, crazy. 327 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,167 I know. 'Cause I was... 328 00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:47,412 Uh, hey, Creed? 329 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,579 Huh? 330 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,281 Could I talk to you for a second? 331 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,655 You are great. 332 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,490 Very ambitious. 333 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,726 And I feel like you want more 334 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,962 than this little office has to offer. 335 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:07,398 And I understand that you'd wanna just spread your wings 336 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,300 and fly the coop. 337 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:09,300 What are you telling me? 338 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,938 We're gonna have to... You... you want something better. 339 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,941 No, I don't. I wanna stay right here. 340 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,476 No, you wanna leave. 341 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,411 No, I wanna stay here. 342 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,246 Why are you making this so hard? 343 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,148 I think there's a misunderstanding, Michael. 344 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,416 I think you're right. 345 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,319 Can I go? No, of course, you can't go. 346 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,390 We haven't even started this horrible process of... 347 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,559 Okay, Creed, 348 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:39,297 I need to let somebody go today. 349 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,266 They told me I need to let somebody go. 350 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,535 And as much as I think you're a great guy, 351 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:48,506 and I like you, you're... you're, good-bye. 352 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,108 Let's fight it. 353 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,409 Hmm? 354 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,910 Let's call Jan, and fight this thing together 355 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,112 like the old days. 356 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,513 What old days? What are you talking about? 357 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,181 Did you start the paperwork yet? 358 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,983 It's right here on the desk, yeah. 359 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,385 You don't have to do this, Michael. 360 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,420 I can't... Undo it! 361 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,921 I can't change anything. 362 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,723 No, you have the power to undo it. 363 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,225 You undo it. 364 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,494 Michael, undo it. 365 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,995 Yeah, I went hunting once. 366 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,964 Shot the deer in the leg. 367 00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,833 Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. 368 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,035 Why do you ask? 369 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,070 I have to fire someone today. 370 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,972 Okay? Fine. 371 00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:24,809 Fire someone else. Fire Devon, he's terrible. 372 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,578 I am so much better at my job than Devon. 373 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,547 Okay, well, I already picked you. 374 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,915 And you know that. 375 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,184 So, unless I just go through with this, 376 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:36,154 you're always gonna look at me as the guy who almost fired you. 377 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,990 No, no, no, no, no. I will forget so fast. 378 00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,324 You will be my savior. 379 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:44,262 You're the guy who gave me my life back. 380 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,863 Thank you. 381 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,865 I knew you'd see my way, Michael, God bless you. 382 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,700 You're a fine man. Don't... 383 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,369 Listen, you will not regret this either. 384 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,337 Devon's terrible. No one's gonna miss him. 385 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:57,008 Good, good, good. 386 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,527 Devon, could I talk to you for a sec? 387 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,030 Creed's an idiot. You know that. Well, he... 388 00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,666 No, no, no, no, no. You had it right the first time. 389 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,768 Well, maybe I did. Exactly. 390 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,903 You gotta go with you gut, man. 391 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,738 Huh. Well... 392 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,341 No, I can't... No. 393 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,276 I can't go back. I would look like an idiot. 394 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,145 That's why I'm being fired? No. 395 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,980 So you might not look like an idiot? No. 396 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,849 It was all the stuff that I said. 397 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,485 It was the business downturn, the cutbacks, and, and... 398 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,253 This is unbelievable! 399 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,723 I just hope that you and I can remain friends. 400 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,394 Devon, wait... please. 401 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,864 Look, look. 402 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,567 In addition to severance, and everything, 403 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,903 I want to give you 404 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:03,040 this gift certificate to Chili's. 405 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,509 From me. 406 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,745 Okay? No hard feelings. 407 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,751 Kevin, Jim, Pam, Kelly, 408 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,187 Toby, Oscar, Meredith, 409 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,489 Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp. 410 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,491 If any of you wanna meet me for a drink, 411 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,026 I'm gonna be at Poor Richard's. 412 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,862 And the rest of you can go to hell. 413 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,804 What about the Halloween party? 414 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,744 Oh, hey, Jim. Wait, stop. 415 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,647 Um, I'm sorry 416 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,349 for pushing you toward Cumberland. 417 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,121 Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out. 418 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,024 Come on. 419 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,427 That's just a figure of speech, you know? 420 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,262 Blow your brains out? Come on. 421 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,565 All it really means is that we're friends. 422 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,767 I mean, who else is she gonna talk to 423 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,802 if I'm gone, right? 424 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,338 I mean, if she left I wouldn't blow my brains out. 425 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,208 Of course, I would take that job in Maryland. 426 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,076 Because it's double the pay, 427 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:16,247 and soft shell crab just happens to be my favorite food. 428 00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:24,956 I love Halloween. 429 00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,657 You, know it's just... it's just fun. 430 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,726 Every year, it's just fun. 431 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,529 Last Halloween, I came as Janet Jackson's boob. 432 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,532 It was topical. 433 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,300 People got a big kick out of it. 434 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:40,104 The year before that, I came as Monica Lewinsky. 435 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,573 And I wore a stained dress. 436 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,610 The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky. 437 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,845 And before that, I was O.J. 438 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,747 It was pretty funny. 439 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,649 Oh, I wish you were here last year. 440 00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,193 Trick or treat! 441 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:03,628 Hey! 442 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:04,996 How you doin'? Wow! 443 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,631 You guys look great. 444 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,132 I'm a bumblebee. 445 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,034 You look great. 446 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,602 And you're a princess? 447 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,271 A fairy princess. 448 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,273 You're very... I'm a lion. 449 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,941 You're a lion. Wow, I want to hear your... 450 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,676 Oh, okay, that's all yours. That's all yours. 451 00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,211 Grab it, grab it. You know what? 452 00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:22,747 You guys are getting all of these.