1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,001 It is Friday morning. 2 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,836 And it is another beautiful day 3 00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:07,272 in Scranton, Pennsylvania. 4 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:10,442 Oh, my God. 5 00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:12,644 Oh! 6 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:19,018 Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. 7 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,121 Oh, we have a serious problem here. 8 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,155 All right, everybody. 9 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,556 Lock the doors. Turn off the lights. 10 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,691 Pretend you're not here. 11 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,526 Are we in danger? 12 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,563 There's no time to think about it. This is real. 13 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,966 Just shh, everybody. 14 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,839 Michael, should I call the... 15 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,941 What? 16 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,310 The I.T. tech guy and me 17 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:48,680 did not get off to a great start. 18 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,116 Yeah, I tried to install it myself, 19 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,851 but you guys have these things 20 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,253 so password-protected. 21 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,189 That just means you have to enter your password. 22 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,490 Uh... 23 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,459 What's your password, Michael? 24 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,394 Um, it's... 25 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,564 Oh. 1, 2, 3, 4. Yes. 26 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,940 Michael... Aah! Gah! 27 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,641 Please don't do that. 28 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,076 Okay, I'm sorry. What is going on in there? 29 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,645 Why is he here? What are you doing? 30 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,913 I can't tell you. 31 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,014 You have to tell me. 32 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,182 I don't have to tell you anything. 33 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:59,251 Look, Michael. 34 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,353 I know you don't want to have to think about this, 35 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,721 but if something were to happen to you, 36 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,823 God forbid, then I would need to know 37 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,125 in order to take over. 38 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,493 Dwight, nothing is gonna happen to me. Okay? 39 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,660 I'm in the best shape of my life. 40 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,995 Look at at this. Grr! 41 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:10,996 Yeah, but that doesn't matter. 42 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,264 You could get a brain aneurysm. 43 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,499 I'm not gonna... Or hit by a car. 44 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,000 Stop. Or a bus or a train. 45 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,435 You could get poisoned. Fall down a well. 46 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,970 Step on a mine. Choke. 47 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,339 Okay, if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, 48 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,074 and die, you can have my job. Okay? 49 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,976 Why don't you just go away? 50 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,210 There are certain things 51 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,846 a boss does not share with his employees. 52 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,849 His salary. That would depress them. 53 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,584 His bed. 54 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,990 And I am not going to tell them 55 00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,625 that I'll be reading their e-mails. 56 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,261 So how do you search? 57 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,429 By keyword phrase. 58 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,632 Try profits. 59 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,767 No, try Michael Scott. 60 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:52,638 Michael, boss, and funny. 61 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,844 Oh, my God! Wow! 62 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,245 E-mail from Stanley. 63 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,881 Stanley. Terribly nice guy. 64 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,316 "Sorry I didn't write back sooner. 65 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,417 "I can't go to the game tonight 66 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,952 "because my boss Michael is an ass 67 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,153 and making me stay late." 68 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,622 Well, Stanley's an ass. 69 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,391 Not one of our harder workers. 70 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,798 Hey, what's the deal, Michael? 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,166 Why are you spying on our computers? 72 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,001 Oh, no! 73 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,937 Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. 74 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,838 What other ghost stories do you have for us? 75 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,075 That I'm a robot? 76 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:33,378 I will destroy everything in my path. 77 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,413 Actually, we just... 78 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,216 Boop! Beep! Bop! 79 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,850 Okay. Bonk! 80 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,987 Boop boop. Oil can. 81 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,690 Oil can. 82 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,191 Tin Man. 83 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,694 Actually we just got a memo from I.T. 84 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,462 saying you're doing e-mail surveillance. 85 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,198 Oh, what? No, that defeats the whole purpose. 86 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,400 So it's true? You have access to our e-mails? 87 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,435 You know what the problem is? 88 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,569 I think I do. 89 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,438 The problem is that when people 90 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,440 hear the term "Big Brother" 91 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:04,276 they immediately think it's scary or bad. 92 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,446 But I don't. I think, "Wow. I love my Big Brother." 93 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,382 I gotta erase a lot of stuff. 94 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,619 A lot of stuff. 95 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,854 Oh, hey. Just so you know. 96 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,723 If you have any sensitive e-mails, 97 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,058 they need to be deleted immediately. 98 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,059 I know. 99 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,594 Good. 100 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:25,931 Hey. 101 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,036 Something just happened. 102 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,605 Dwight just told Angela that she has to delete 103 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,774 all of her sensitive e-mails immediately. 104 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,076 What? I know. 105 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,511 Hmm. 106 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,779 Do you think that they're like... 107 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,614 No. Right, no. 108 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,250 Ugh! Ew. 109 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,385 Ew, ew, ew. 110 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:49,621 Maybe. 111 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,325 It's like squishing a spider under a book. 112 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:56,428 It's gonna be really gross, but I have to look 113 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,031 and make sure that it's really dead. 114 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:03,035 So if you guys see anything... 115 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,437 Hey, Dwight? Um... 116 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,172 My friend is kind of into 117 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,707 these two girls that he works with. 118 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,743 Nice. One is tall and brunette. 119 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:15,047 And the other one is short and blonde 120 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,150 and perky and kind of judgmental. 121 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,951 Who do you think he should choose? 122 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,456 Does he have access to their medical records? 123 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,824 Um... 124 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,128 I think one of the greatest things about modern America 125 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,597 is the computerization of medical records. 126 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,333 As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up 127 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:38,437 anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. 128 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,105 Yeast infections. 129 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,274 There are huge number 130 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,975 of yeast infections in this county. 131 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:49,848 Probably because we're down river 132 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,084 from that old bread factory. 133 00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:55,087 Meredith has an E-vite 134 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,822 from Jim. 135 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,825 "Barbecue at Jim's tonight." 136 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:03,895 Tonight? Wonder where my e-vitation is? 137 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,564 Click on guest list. 138 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,632 Angela. Stanley. Oscar. 139 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:12,537 Meredith. Phyllis. Kevin. Creed. 140 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,139 Must be... 141 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,076 No. 142 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,217 Hey, Angela. How's it going? 143 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,718 It's okay. 144 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,953 Listen, are you bringing anyone 145 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,287 to Jim's party tonight? 146 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,856 No. Are we supposed to? 147 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,859 No. I mean I don't know. I don't think so. 148 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,495 Hmm. Excuse me. 149 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,063 Oh. 150 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,443 There's always a distance 151 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,478 between a boss and the employees. 152 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,581 It is just nature's rule. 153 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,483 It's intimidation, mostly. 154 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:01,052 It's the awareness that they are not me. 155 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:05,223 I do think that I am very approachable 156 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,293 as one of the guys. 157 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,629 But maybe I need to be even approachabler. 158 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,765 Ahem. 159 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,467 That's pretty, um... Yeah. 160 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,070 Are you gonna eat with us? 161 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,539 Of course. 162 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,773 Hanging with my crew. 163 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,142 Crew that I am one of. 164 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:28,380 Hanging with my Cup of Noodles. 165 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,549 This is a meal in a cup right here. 166 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,918 Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. 167 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,455 Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmm. 168 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,790 You know what I really, really miss about college? 169 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,460 The parties. Everybody'd go. 170 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,963 The athletes. The nerds. The professors. 171 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,065 The professors would go to the parties? 172 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,402 Yeah. They were the most fun. 173 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,404 We always invited them. 174 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,008 It's true. I'm having a party. 175 00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,011 I've got three cases of imported beer. 176 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,746 Karaoke machine. 177 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,949 And I didn't invite Michael. 178 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,518 So three ingredients for a great party. 179 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,986 And it's nothing personal. 180 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,387 I just think if he were there, 181 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,589 people wouldn't be able to relax. 182 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,257 You know, have fun. 183 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,526 And my roommate wants to meet everybody. 184 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,429 Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. 185 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,899 He is very real. 186 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,472 What? 187 00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,545 Oh! Yes! 188 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,313 Thank you. 189 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,054 Question. 190 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,423 On the Internet, there are several different options 191 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,658 to get to your house for the party tonight. 192 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,928 Oh, um, no. No, no, no. Keep that down. 193 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,162 Why? 194 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,965 Because not everybody knows about the party. 195 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:58,203 Like who? Who doesn't know? 196 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,372 Um, Michael. 197 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,107 Why just Michael? 198 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,378 'Cause it's a surprise. 199 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,846 Is it? Mm-hmm. 200 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:08,847 Oh, that's perfect. 201 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,415 So don't tell. 202 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,284 I won't. Okay. 203 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,053 So, Dwight thinks that tonight 204 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,755 is a surprise party for Michael. 205 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,857 Really? That's great. I know. 206 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,892 Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere. 207 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,029 Oh, man. 208 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,363 Oh, you know what? Speaking of which, 209 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,965 I was just trying to get a handle on, 210 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,167 you know, numbers for food and stuff. 211 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,869 So do you think Roy's gonna come or... 212 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,470 Oh, no. He can't make it. 213 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,639 Oh, okay. Cool. 214 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,344 Here. Hey. 215 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,279 Almost quitting time. 216 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,015 Yep. It's 4:00. 217 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,717 One more hour 218 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,420 to take care of anything you forgot to do. 219 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:54,125 Hey, I don't know if you have any plans tonight, 220 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,194 but if you don't, we could hang out. 221 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:02,567 Oh, um... I can't. 222 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,935 You have plans? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I do. 223 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,870 Yeah, I do too, I do too. Oh, you do? 224 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,572 Big plans. I do, yeah. 225 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,807 Because you just said you wanted to hang out... 226 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,408 Tonight, I can't do it tonight. 227 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,944 No. Improv class. I have improv class. 228 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,679 Hanging out with my improv buds. Really? 229 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,181 Yeah. Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. 230 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,916 Oh, it's the best. It is the best. 231 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,517 I would not miss it for the world. 232 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:22,621 But if something else came up, I would definitely not go. 233 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,625 Improv sounds great. 234 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:28,994 It is. 235 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,566 Okay. 236 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,835 All right. 237 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,137 What? 238 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,939 I think Stanley just coughed. 239 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,750 Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk you to your vehicular transport? 240 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:52,751 No, thanks. 241 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,918 All right. 242 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,153 Oscar, you have big plans tonight... 243 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,655 I'm on a call. Okay. 244 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,357 Kevin. Big man, big man. What are you doing tonight? 245 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,358 Where you off to? 246 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,626 My brother is in town 247 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,796 and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival at... 248 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,865 Okay, all right. 249 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,500 Hey, Angela. Rushy, rushy. 250 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:09,834 Where you rushing off to? 251 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,269 I'm just leaving for the day. 252 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,937 Yeah, well, duh. Where are you headed? 253 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,306 Charity. Bake Drive. 254 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,342 Liar! You are a liar. 255 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,943 No, I'm not! 256 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,212 Ohh. Dwight. 257 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,248 Oh, Dwight, my loyal compadre. 258 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,383 You and I are hanging tonight. 259 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,852 The two of us. We are celebrating 260 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,255 our freedom and our manhood. 261 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,690 You know what? 262 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,191 Why don't we watch that show you've been wanting to watch? 263 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,493 That stupid Battleship Galaxy... 264 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,795 Battlestar Galactica? 265 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,397 That's... Whatever stupid show you want to watch. 266 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,633 I can't tonight. Unfortunately I've got plans. 267 00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:45,804 I have to go to practice. Soccer practice. 268 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,338 I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight. 269 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,473 Clarinet. 270 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,408 You too, Dwight? 271 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,343 Have fun tonight. 272 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,778 Whatever it is that you're doing. 273 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,648 And I'll see you Monday. 274 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,585 He has no idea. 275 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,659 Quick announcement, everybody. 276 00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:08,960 If I could have everybody's attention. 277 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,595 We do have wine in the kitchen. 278 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,331 And there is beer available on the porch. 279 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,632 And despite what you might think, 280 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,067 it's not all for Meredith and Kelly. 281 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,469 So please enjoy. 282 00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:20,004 Jim, you really think this is a good idea? 283 00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,073 Huh? A hide-a-key rock? 284 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,608 Hey, you must be Dwight. 285 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,642 You don't work with us. 286 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:25,977 That's because Mark's my roommate. 287 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:26,978 Oh. 288 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,646 Hey, I love the Birkenstocks. 289 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,983 Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car 290 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,119 for special occasions. 291 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,087 Jim, come here. Mm-hmm? 292 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,957 When is the guest of honor coming? 293 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,625 Oh. Uh, later-ish. 294 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,093 He's gonna love it! 295 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,163 Great. I just wanted to let you guys know 296 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,098 that we will be taking the tour like I promised... 297 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,366 Hey. Hey! 298 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,102 Just in time. Do you want to go on a group tour? 299 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,403 We were just about to leave. 300 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,538 Definitely. 301 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,739 Well, the group tour is now leaving then. 302 00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,907 Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things 303 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,375 that we're going to be pointing out to you today. 304 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,644 You will be able to see both bedrooms. 305 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,146 And if we're lucky, 306 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,414 maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom. 307 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,783 Who knows? I have to remind you also 308 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,651 that flash photography is prohibited. 309 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:07,886 And as much as you can, 310 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,721 please refrain from touching things. 311 00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,356 I know you might want to. 312 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,757 Hey, is Katie coming? 313 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,459 Um, actually I haven't talked to her in a while. 314 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,795 Huh? Oh. Is it cool if I call her? 315 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,930 We'll talk about that later. 316 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,198 Okay, let's get right into it. 317 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,666 I need two people for the first scene. 318 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,102 Ooh, ooh, ooh! Mr. Kotter! 319 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,770 Mr. Kot-ter! 320 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,839 Okay. Michael. And... 321 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,042 Anybody? 322 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,310 How about Marybeth? 323 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,280 Okay. Come on. 324 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,748 Okay, so you start us off, Marybeth. 325 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,049 All right, great. Okay. 326 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,756 Boom! Detective Michael Scott! 327 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:45,957 I'm with the FBI! 328 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,560 Think about this. What is the most exciting thing 329 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,695 that can happen on TV or in movies 330 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:54,432 or in real life? Somebody has a gun. 331 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,534 That's why I always start with a gun 332 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,504 because you can't top it. You just can't. 333 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,739 I'm supposed to meet my doctor here. 334 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,942 Have you seen him? He's a very angry midget. 335 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,310 Boom! Freeze! 336 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,611 Michael Scarn, FBI! 337 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,146 You know what you did. 338 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,315 Boom! Boom! Boom! 339 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,983 Yeah, you thought you could get away 340 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,452 with your little ruse didn't you? Didn't you? 341 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,920 Well, you didn't. 342 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,056 Because I know where you hid the diamonds. 343 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,458 I've been on to you and your little friends for weeks. 344 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,560 Boom! Boom! Boom! 345 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,928 I'm not even in the scene! 346 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,096 Boom! Boom! Boom! 347 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,898 Stop. Stop! Stop. 348 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,000 Okay. You shot me. Great. Stop. 349 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,935 Okay, you can't just shoot everyone in the scene. 350 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,470 Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene, 351 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,771 you would've seen where it was going. 352 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,006 Okay. What about the scene they set up? 353 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,674 Boring. 354 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,544 No, it wasn't. No more guns. No, no. 355 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:43,248 Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have. 356 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,517 Just get rid of all your guns and give them to me. 357 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,753 Great. Bleh! 358 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,255 Bleh. Okay. 359 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,196 Jim's bedroom. 360 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,103 See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. 361 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,572 Cool. This is your desk. 362 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,606 This is my desk. 363 00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,974 Your home office. 364 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,710 Home office. This is it. Yeah. 365 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,345 You have to sit down so I can get the full effect. 366 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,248 Okay. Sure. Will do. 367 00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:22,520 Okay, wait. So that would make me... 368 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,289 Like right here. 369 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,991 Yeah. Yep, that feels about right. 370 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,726 And then Dwight would be like... 371 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,828 You know what? Let's just leave that image out of it. 372 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,397 Because this is a happy place. 373 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,866 Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts. 374 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,736 Um... oh! Yearbook. 375 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,471 Yeah, you don't have to, um... 376 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,775 All right. Yes, that's not gonna be awkward at all. 377 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,746 Oh, no! Oh, yeah. 378 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,883 You were so dorky! Thank you. 379 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,426 Freeze. I'm in. 380 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,927 Do you want to go over the rules one more time? 381 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,429 No, no, no, no. 382 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,599 I'm looking in my wallet for money 383 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,568 so you can tell me my fortune. 384 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,540 I promise it's worth it. 385 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,742 Oh, I can see you walking out of here, 386 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,644 and you're thrilled with your reading. 387 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,514 What are you... 388 00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,923 Michael, what did you tell him? 389 00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,157 Nothing. 390 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,727 Then why are his hands up? Bill? 391 00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:38,196 He told me he couldn't show it to me, 392 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,697 but he has a gun. 393 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,967 Okay. Let's call it a day. 394 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,636 Good. That was good. 395 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,438 Good work, everybody. 396 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,809 Angela, burger, dog? Having fun? 397 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,379 I got sap on me. 398 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,547 Chicken, hot dog, burger. 399 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,483 I'm a vegetarian. 400 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,685 There's soda inside. 401 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,886 Oh. 402 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,054 I didn't think the premium 403 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,122 laser color copy batch 404 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,523 would sell as well as it did. 405 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,859 It surprised us all. I'll tell you why. Because... 406 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,060 I'm sorry, guys. 407 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,895 Can we please not talk about paper? 408 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,397 There's gotta be something else that we can talk about. 409 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,099 Ahem. 410 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,906 Um, I think it's all right. 411 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,876 I mean, jeez. It's late already. 412 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,878 Hmm. 413 00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:30,415 Hey, Phyllis. 414 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,083 Come here for a second. Sure. 415 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,284 Have you heard anything 416 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,854 about any secret office romances or... 417 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,657 You tell me. 418 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,160 Well, you do mean you and Jim, right? 419 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,431 Oh, God. I am so sorry. I mean, I thought... 420 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,399 You guys hang out all the time. 421 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,734 And you're talking all the time. 422 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,136 I'm sorry. It's like... 423 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,539 It's okay. It's okay. 424 00:17:56,041 --> 00:18:00,545 Ah! Not so fast, fire guy. 425 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:03,848 How do we get to Bernie's Tavern from here? 426 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,349 Oh, don't worry. We're all gonna carpool. 427 00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,918 So, Bernie's, huh? We're all going to Bernie's? 428 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,021 Oh, uh, sorry. We're not going as a group. 429 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:11,389 It's just a private friend 430 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,024 who happens to know all of us from different ways 431 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,725 is throwing a private birthday thing. 432 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,227 Right, right, right. Well, guys, I'd love to go 433 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,428 to Bernie's with you. But you know what? 434 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,563 I have an office party. 435 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,831 Big office party I need to go to. 436 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,232 So can't get out of it. 437 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,500 Good job. Hey, see you later. 438 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,369 Nice job, Bill. Not. 439 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,814 Oh, hey, how's your new side project going? 440 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,983 Um, oh, yeah. I gave that up. 441 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:41,185 Really? Yeah. It turns out I was, um, 442 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,421 just grasping at straws. 443 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,690 Just because two people are hanging out, 444 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,859 it doesn't mean that they're together. 445 00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:50,928 You know? Like people can just be friends. 446 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,730 And I think that it was really unfair of us 447 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,966 to assume that there was anything else going on. 448 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,845 Surprise! 449 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,981 Everybody. 450 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:13,017 Wow. Who opened the morgue for this thing? 451 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,585 I was just driving by. Thought I'd drop in. 452 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,687 Here's some wine. I would love a glass 453 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:17,755 if you're gonna open it. 454 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,891 Hello, temp. Take my jacket. 455 00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,659 Ha ha ha! 456 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,828 Oh, come on. That guy? 457 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,931 He is a good guy. Not a terrorist. 458 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,533 Yikes. 459 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:29,800 Karaoke. I love it. 460 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:33,271 I am a karaoke fiend! 461 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,438 I call dibs. I've got next. 462 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,441 I got next up. Come on. Let's... 463 00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,413 Ha! Okay. Where's that wine? 464 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,849 Okay. This is a duet. So... 465 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,886 Somebody else? Pam, you want to... 466 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,721 come up and sing this one? 467 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,058 Need somebody else. Takers, please. 468 00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,664 Kelly? 469 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:13,077 This is the part that goes to the girl. 470 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,248 We're making love! 471 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,661 Talk! Just talk! 472 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,996 I am... Shut up! 473 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,331 Funny story... The way I got into improv 474 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,500 was... I got into improv... 475 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,836 The story about me getting into improv was 476 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,804 that I was walking down the street 477 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,373 and a race car pulls up. 478 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,608 And the guy says, "Hey, you're funny. 479 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,176 "You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. 480 00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,279 Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt." 481 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,383 And that was an improv. 482 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:30,521 Um, the real way was that I found a flyer.