1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,970 Lords of the Ring trilogy, if you see it back to back, it's really long, but it's good. 2 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,105 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 3 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,206 Pam! It's Michael. Help me. 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,507 I need help right now. 5 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,675 Michael, what's wrong? 6 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,744 I'm hurt. I have hurt myself! 7 00:00:11,746 --> 00:00:13,445 - Ohh, my God! - Okay, wait, wait, wait! 8 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,147 Oh, this is not looking good, Pam! 9 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,915 Michael, do you need me to call an ambulance?! 10 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,617 No, I want you to pick me up. 11 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,052 - Ohh! - Okay. - What's going on? 12 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,954 Wait a sec, I thought you said that you were hurt. 13 00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,022 I am hurt. I hurt my foot. 14 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:24,223 Pam, what's going on? 15 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,524 I want to come to work, 16 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,092 but I need you to come and pick me up. 17 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,894 Ohh, God! 18 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,329 Hey, whoa! Michael! 19 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,330 Oh, God! 20 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,898 It's okay. It's Jim. 21 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,501 Just say again, really loudly, what happened. 22 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,636 Okay. Buhh! I burned my foot! 23 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,205 Very badly, on my Foreman Grill, 24 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,409 and I now need someone to come and bring me into work. 25 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,879 You burned your foot on a Foreman Grill? 26 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,447 I enjoy having breakfast in bed. 27 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,282 I like waking up to the smell of bacon. 28 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,350 Sue me. 29 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,818 And since I don't have a butler, 30 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,219 I have to do it myself. 31 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,789 So most nights before I go to bed, 32 00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,692 I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. 33 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,127 Then I go to sleep. 34 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,863 When I wake up, I plug in the grill. 35 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,498 I go back to sleep again. 36 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,469 Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. 37 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,838 It is delicious. It's good for me. 38 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,873 It's a perfect way to start the day. 39 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:18,010 Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill, 40 00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:19,878 and it clamped down on my foot, that's it. 41 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,848 I don't see what's so hard to believe about that. 42 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,216 Pam, could you come get me? 43 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,219 Uh, I have to stay here and answer the phone. 44 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,054 Okay, could someone come and get me, please? Ryan? 45 00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,190 Michael, you should stay home and rest. 46 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,225 There's no toilet paper here. Could Ryan... 47 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,827 Tell Ryan to bring toilet paper! 48 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:36,328 Could you tell him that? 49 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,396 Can you hop? 50 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,831 I tried hopping, Kevin, 51 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:41,366 and I bumped my elbow against the wall, 52 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:44,870 and now my elbow has a "protruberence." 53 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,607 No one wants to pick me up?! 54 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:51,410 What is going on? 55 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,712 What is going on? 56 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,647 Michael is, um, sick, 57 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,049 and he wants one of us to rescue him. 58 00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:58,350 - I'm not sick, I'm... - I'm coming, Michael! 59 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,119 I'm gonna save you! 60 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,187 Don't! Is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight. 61 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,289 Hold on, Michael, I am coming! 62 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,390 - Wait there! - I do not want Dwight! 63 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,427 Michael, why don't you call your girlfriend? 64 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,728 I don't have a girlfriend. 65 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,263 But you said you went out with her this weekend. 66 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,899 It was all made up. Just... someone come, okay? 67 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,267 Anyone. Anyone but Dwight. 68 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:21,540 - What was that? - What was that? 69 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,375 Ohh. Ohh! 70 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,843 He hit the pole. 71 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,180 It's broken, right? He can't... 72 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:31,750 Oh, Dwight. Dwight. 73 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,118 Ohh! 74 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,787 Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Is he okay? 75 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,357 He's still driving. 76 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,492 Dwight... 77 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,694 You forgot your bumper! 78 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,062 Hello? 79 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,731 Please don't send Dwight. 80 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,036 Morning, everyone. 81 00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:26,171 Don't freak out. 82 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,207 I forbid anybody to freak out. 83 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,475 Clearly I have had a very serious accident. 84 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,311 But I will recover. 85 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,779 God willing. 86 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:35,647 I just wanna be treated normally today. 87 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,416 Normal would actually be good. 88 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,750 Considering the trauma that I've been through. 89 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,052 You missed two big conference calls today. 90 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,153 One with corporate. 91 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:44,456 Oh, did you explain... why? 92 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,125 No, I didn't mention that you cooked your foot. 93 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,393 Burned my foot, Pam. 94 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,831 Please stop popping my cast. 95 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,066 Thank you. 96 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,035 So where are you shipping your foot? 97 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,938 Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping... 98 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,774 Your foot. 99 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,878 Thank you. 100 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,880 Pam, messages, please. 101 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,082 You didn't have any. 102 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,283 Really? 103 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:15,354 Well, seemed very important to you earlier 104 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,222 that you needed to stay and... 105 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,957 - Do my job? - No. 106 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,026 Your job is being my friend, Pam... and... 107 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,228 Ow! God! 108 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,396 It slipped. 109 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,198 - What did... - Sorry. 110 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,366 It's just that before, you said 111 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,500 you didn't want any special treatment. 112 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,736 I don't want any special treatment, Pam. 113 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,471 I just want you to treat me 114 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,539 like you would a family member 115 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:37,776 who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. 116 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,811 I don't think that's too much to ask. 117 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,580 Do you want some aspirin? Because you seem a little fussy. 118 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,815 No, I don't want some aspirin. Yeah, I am fussy. 119 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,384 Aspirin's not gonna do a damn thing. 120 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,287 I'm sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot. 121 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,622 Pam, I am Assistant Regional Manager. 122 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,257 And I can take care of him. 123 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,926 Part of my duties are to... 124 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,601 What? 125 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,969 Part of your duties are to what? 126 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,037 What? 127 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:08,073 You just said that part of your duties are to something. 128 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,641 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 129 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,742 What is wrong with you? 130 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,878 What is wrong with you? 131 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,859 Where is my cornbread? 132 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,161 Here you go. 133 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,196 Thank you. Did you get all dark meat like I like? 134 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,365 Yes, I ordered three full rotisserie chickens worth 135 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,900 of all dark meat. 136 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:35,901 Where are the yams? 137 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,902 They were out of yams. 138 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,236 I got you creamed spinach. 139 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,272 Did you go to the one in Stroudsburg? Yes. 140 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,107 - And they had no yams? - They had no yams. 141 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,408 How strange. 142 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,043 Because they always have yams. 143 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:49,715 Oh, man, is that a Prism Duro Sport? 144 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,316 You've seen one of these? 145 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,052 Yeah, they're like an iPod, only they're better. 146 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,588 'Cause they're chunkier and more solid. 147 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,856 Roy gave it to me for Christmas. 148 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,624 I'm trying to figure out how to put songs on it. 149 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,194 Oh, no, no, no. Don't go there. 150 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,995 I know this Russian website 151 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,765 where you can download songs for two cents apiece. 152 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,935 Really? Yeah, I'll write down the address for you. 153 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,170 Only the only thing is... 154 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,374 is that all the songs are in Russian. 155 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:18,677 Kidding! 156 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,079 Oh... oh! 157 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:23,782 Why would they all be... 158 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,820 Okay, see you later, Pan. 159 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:35,260 Pan? 160 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,095 Pam! 161 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,064 Pam? 162 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,500 Oh, God. 163 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,170 What? 164 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,671 Come here, please. 165 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,974 Tell me before I come there. 166 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,109 I want you to rub butter on my foot. 167 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,110 No. 168 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,278 Pam, please. 169 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,379 I have Country Crock. 170 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,480 No. 171 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,654 Ryan! 172 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,556 Ryan! 173 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,491 Ryan! 174 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,360 These covers... 175 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:10,095 are totally indestructible. 176 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,263 Really? Yeah. 177 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,865 Throw it. I promise it won't break. 178 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,033 Chuck it. 179 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,907 Oh, no, it's broken. 180 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,008 What? 181 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,576 No, it's fine. 182 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,877 I told you it wouldn't break. 183 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,345 You could throw it all day long. 184 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,613 That is so cool. 185 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,715 Thanks, Dwight. 186 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,150 You're welcome. 187 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,354 So I guess Pam and Dwight are friends now. 188 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:37,989 Oh, God, no. Dwight isn't my friend. 189 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,058 Oh, God, no. Dwight isn't my friend. 190 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:45,363 Oh, my God... Dwight's kind of my friend! 191 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:49,534 No, no... no one is helping me out at all, Mom. 192 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,904 No, I'm not gonna call Jan. 193 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,039 She'd just worry. 194 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,274 Drive down here and make a big thing. 195 00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,478 Who told you that? 196 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,514 No, it was mutual. 197 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,750 What is Pam doing chatting with you? 198 00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:15,160 Hmm. Do you like candy? 199 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,162 It's all right. 200 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,865 'Cause you're sweeter than candy. 201 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,666 What is wrong with you? 202 00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,770 Hey, cut... 203 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,400 Wow, you just dive right in. 204 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,002 You know, around age 12, 205 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,236 I just started going for it, you know? 206 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,237 Help! 207 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,809 Oh, help! Help me! 208 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,511 What... what happened? 209 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,179 I fell off the toilet. 210 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,883 I'm caught between the toilet and the wall. 211 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,152 What do you need? 212 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,087 Not you. Someone else. 213 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,689 Get Pam. 214 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,491 I don't think Pam's gonna wanna come into the men's room. 215 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,859 Get Ryan. 216 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,661 He needs to lift me! 217 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,596 And he needs to clean me up a little bit. 218 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,464 Bring a wet towel. 219 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,968 Ryan is, uh... dead. 220 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,003 No, he's not. I just saw him. 221 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,572 No. He's... 222 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,307 Can you just get up yourself? 223 00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:37,742 I... you only grilled your foot. 224 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,578 Oh, forget it. 225 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,313 I'll just get up myself. 226 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,948 Ohh! Oww! 227 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,986 Ow! Ow, God! 228 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,557 Do you think Dwight's being a little weird today? 229 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:56,394 No... he's actually been really nice and helpful. 230 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,029 And that isn't weird? 231 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,166 Well... 232 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:05,070 Can I have everyone's attention, please? 233 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:07,372 Phyllis... Oscar... 234 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,808 Ryan, who is supposed to be dead. 235 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:13,011 Can I ask you all a question? 236 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,580 Do you know what it's like to be disabled? 237 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,883 Um... I had scoliosis as a girl. 238 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:22,020 Never heard of it. No... a real disability. 239 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,254 Not a woman's trouble. 240 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,457 When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung. 241 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,492 Wha... how old are you? 242 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:31,463 No, it... Look, the point is... 243 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:36,368 I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. 244 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:41,039 Although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles. 245 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,875 I'm not disabled, and neither are you. 246 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:48,246 Okay, what does this look like to you, Stanley? 247 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,382 Mail Boxes, Etc. 248 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,584 Shut... it. 249 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,552 Okay. Well... 250 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,388 Well, you know what? 251 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,056 Disabilities 252 00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,291 are not things to be laughed at 253 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,293 or laughed about. 254 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,129 You people are jerks. 255 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:07,032 Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder 256 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,234 on the floor of that bathroom instead of me. 257 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,536 Oh, we wouldn't. We love Stevie Wonder. 258 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,808 I burned my foot! 259 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,445 Okay, 20 minutes, conference room. 260 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,213 Everybody's in there! 261 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,116 Dad? 262 00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,555 While we are waiting 263 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,857 for our special guests to arrive, 264 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,793 I wanted you all to take a look 265 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:38,797 at a few of the many, many disabled icons 266 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,899 who have contributed so much to our society. 267 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,200 Quick question. Yeah? 268 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,602 Why is Tom Hanks on the wall? 269 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,571 - Twice. - Good question. 270 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:49,541 Forrest Gump, mentally challenged. 271 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,010 Philadelphia... AIDS. 272 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,778 I think that's from Big. 273 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,114 I don't think so, no. 274 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,717 Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia. 275 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,819 He grew into a man overnight. 276 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,754 A rare disability. It still works. 277 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,624 A crossword puzzle, Stanley? 278 00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,827 Seriously, are you learning nothing here? 279 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:09,861 Mm-hmm. 280 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,863 What do you mean, "Mm-hmm"? 281 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:12,897 I mean I'm learning nothing. 282 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,932 Okay. 283 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,400 Michael Scott. I'm looking for Michael Scott. 284 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,102 Yes, right in here. 285 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,503 - Good. - Come on in. 286 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,704 Great. 287 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:23,575 This, ladies and gentlemen, is our special guest. 288 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,843 Sorry I'm late. 289 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:28,213 Somebody parked in the handicapped parking space. 290 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,414 Oh. 291 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,416 Hey, everyone. I'm Billy Merchant. 292 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,017 You may have seen me around here before. 293 00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,887 I'm the properties manager of this office park. 294 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,222 You are so brave. 295 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,456 You are so brave. 296 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,991 Thank you. 297 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,860 Actually, I've been meaning to come by here for a long time... 298 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,961 But it's hard for you, right? 299 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,662 Because you're in a wheelchair. 300 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,031 No, I just have a lot of properties to manage. 301 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,800 Let me ask you something. 302 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,302 How long does it take for you to do something simple? 303 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,005 Every day, like... like brush your teeth in the morning. 304 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,241 I don't know, like, 30 seconds. 305 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,475 Oh, my God. 306 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,577 That's three times as long as it takes me. 307 00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:01,980 How did you 308 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,248 get in your wheelchair? 309 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,582 This morning? 310 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,984 Just like every other morning. Just climbed on in. 311 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,387 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Not funny, not funny! 312 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,356 Hey, hey, relax just, uh... 313 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,624 joking around here. 314 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,658 Well, that's good. 315 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,493 He still has a sense of humor. 316 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,895 Listen, I've actually used a chair 317 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,663 since I was four years old. 318 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,964 I don't really notice it anymore. 319 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,032 Well, they do. They notice it. 320 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,667 Don't you? You notice it. 321 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:23,802 It's the first thing you saw 322 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,804 when he rolled in here, isn't it? 323 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:29,574 I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill. 324 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,842 So there are just a couple things 325 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:31,876 I wanted to remind everybody of. 326 00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:34,078 First is parking. 327 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,513 You can't block the freight entrance 328 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,348 with your car, even if your blinkers are on. 329 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,518 Does anybody have any questions? 330 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,586 Yes? 331 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:43,788 Yeah? 332 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,024 Yes? 333 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,159 Dwight, you have your hand up. 334 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,464 Ignore him. 335 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,933 You know what? 336 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:55,934 We're not that different, 337 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:56,968 you and I. 338 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:57,969 When I clamped 339 00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,238 my foot into a non-stick... 340 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,506 You know what, Michael? Yeah? 341 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,976 Let me stop you right there, and leave. 342 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,879 Did you see Born on the Fourth of July? 343 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,647 I was under the impression that Billy would be 344 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,082 more like that guy. 345 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,483 What's wrong with that guy? 346 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,885 You mean today? 347 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,987 He stepped on a George Foreman Grill and he burned his foot. 348 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,322 No, not Michael. 349 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,858 The moon-faced kid who crashed into the pole. 350 00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:24,929 He looks like he has a concussion. 351 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,734 Hey! 352 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,469 I found the pudding cups you wanted 353 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,605 at a gas station in Carbondale! 354 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,907 You did it. Look at you. 355 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,243 And with the plate and the napkin. 356 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,844 Very nice. Thank you, Ryan. 357 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,746 - You're very welcome. - Did you get the yams? 358 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,848 No, the gas station in Carbondale 359 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,516 did not have fresh yams. 360 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,418 Okay. 361 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,553 I'll just have the pudding. 362 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,721 - You sure? - Yeah. 363 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:50,755 Okay. 364 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,957 You know what? I feel better. 365 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,759 Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding, 366 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,462 and his kindness healed my foot. 367 00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,031 Yeah, baby! 368 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,733 I am feelin' better. 369 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,101 My body's literally 370 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,936 healing itself. 371 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,938 It is amazing what the human body is capable of 372 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,506 when you have a powerful brain. 373 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,809 I ground up four extra-strength aspirin 374 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,745 and put them in Michael's pudding. 375 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,179 I do the same thing with my dog 376 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:18,182 to get him to take his heartworm medicine. 377 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:22,287 Ohh, finally feel the blood coursing through my foot veins. 378 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,454 Ohh! 379 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,724 Oh! Okay, I think we need to take him 380 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,359 to the hospital, because... 381 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,028 I'm pretty sure he has a concussion. 382 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,462 Oh, now you feel 383 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,730 some compassion for him. 384 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:33,798 He needs to go right now. 385 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,133 And you're his emergency contact. 386 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,200 I think you should go with him. 387 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,368 Why don't you go with him? 388 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,537 - I... barely know him. - I want Michael to take me. 389 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,339 I can't take you. I don't have my car. 390 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,107 - Please? - And yours is all vomity. 391 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,375 You can take my van! 392 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,877 Oh, okay. That's great. 393 00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,812 No, I can't drive. Jim, why don't you drive? 394 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,548 Fine. We'll go. I'm still recovering. 395 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,817 So let's just... Ryan, can you get my coat, please? 396 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,585 Slowly. Let's just get to the elevator. 397 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,220 What are you doing? 398 00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,922 Vietnam sounds. 399 00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,624 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 400 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,126 Tired. Can't lay down. 401 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,428 - Just take a rake... - Wake up! 402 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,063 Ahh! Wait, here, let me help you, Dwight. 403 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,264 Come on. Get up. 404 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,332 Thanks. Get up. 405 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,733 - You're the best. - Yeah. 406 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,034 It smells like chicken soup. 407 00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,069 I know. 408 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,403 I have to go to the hospital. 409 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,572 I know. Where are we going? 410 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,107 I just wanna say good-bye, okay? 411 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,508 - I'll be back, I mean... - Yes, I know. 412 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,609 But it's gonna be different. 413 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:19,610 Why? 414 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,412 It's just hard to explain. 415 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,448 Oh, Pam, you're adorable. 416 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,583 Oh, my goodness. 417 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:26,751 Come here. 418 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,720 Ohh. Huggy hugs. 419 00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:30,788 Shotgun! 420 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,324 You don't think you should sit in the back with Dwight? 421 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,961 The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. 422 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,364 The first person to shout shotgun 423 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,132 when you're within the sight of the car 424 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,700 gets the front seat. 425 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,302 That's how the game's played. 426 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,005 There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion. 427 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,340 Oh, God, a minivan. 428 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,609 What is Meredith's problem? 429 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,244 Well, I think she has a kid. 430 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,013 Yeah, she has one kid and no husband. 431 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,382 She's not gonna find one driving this thing around. 432 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,483 Where are we going? 433 00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:59,550 Come on. 434 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,952 - Get inside. - Where are we going? 435 00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:02,754 We're going to Chuck E. Cheese. 436 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:03,855 Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God. 437 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,923 I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese. 438 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,725 We're going to the hospital, Michael. 439 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,927 I know. I'm just sayin'... 440 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:13,331 Dwight, what are you drinking? 441 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,399 I found it under the seat. 442 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,967 Oh, my God. Dwight. 443 00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:17,001 Put that down. I'm thirsty. 444 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,169 Noo! Give the bottle to Michael. 445 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,470 Noo! Just give the bottle to Michael. 446 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,738 - Just give it to me... - I'm thirsty! 447 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,106 Just keep your eyes on the road. 448 00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,708 Give me the bottle, or you're fired! 449 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,576 You can't fire me. I don't work in this van. 450 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,711 Give it to me, Dwight! 451 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,812 - No, stop. - Give me the bottle! 452 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,881 - Will you stop? - Give me the bottle, Dwight! 453 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,149 - Michael, stop! - Just give it! 454 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,617 - Michael, stop! - Just... stop it! 455 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,819 Stop spraying! Give me the bottle! 456 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,521 - Stop! - Stop spraying me! 457 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,822 Give me the bottle! 458 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,957 Dwight, what is your middle name? 459 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,260 Danger. 460 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,828 Something with a "K." 461 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,329 It's Kurt. 462 00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,331 Wow, I'm so sad that I know that. 463 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:50,435 What do I write under reason for visit? 464 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,103 Concussion. 465 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,573 What did you write? 466 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,242 Ahem, nothing. 467 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,012 I wrote "bringing someone to the hospital." 468 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,413 So you thought they meant your reason 469 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,414 for coming to the hospital. 470 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,582 No, no. You know what, Jim? 471 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,851 This isn't about me anymore. 472 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,786 I made a miraculous recovery, 473 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,588 which is more than I can say for him. 474 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,656 Come on, Dwight. 475 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,492 Hi, Michael. 476 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,294 Hi, Dwight. 477 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,762 Ahh. 478 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,464 Uhh. 479 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,833 Doctor, what is more serious, 480 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,768 a head injury or a foot injury? 481 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,103 A head injury. 482 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,404 Well, you don't have all the information. 483 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,005 The foot has been fairly severely burned, 484 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,941 and, uh, healed quickly. 485 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,008 Very quickly. 486 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,044 Actually, like, suspiciously quickly. 487 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:34,879 So I'm ordering a CAT scan. 488 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,647 What is that? 489 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,584 Look, since you have the machine up and running, 490 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,852 can I just stick my foot in? 491 00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:42,420 - We can take a look. - Well... 492 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,721 For a burn, you really just need 493 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,156 to look at the outside of the foot. 494 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,058 Okay, what kind of machine is that? 495 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,093 Does the skin look red and swollen? 496 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,561 That's what she said. 497 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,197 That's my joke. Damn it, Dwight. 498 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,468 Okay, no electronics past this point. 499 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,703 Camera, sound equipment. 500 00:18:58,705 --> 00:18:59,704 It's okay, they're with me. 501 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,939 No metal of any kind. 502 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,609 All right, well, I guess this is where we leave you off. 503 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,710 I don't wanna do this. 504 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,145 Uh, well, you should have thought of that 505 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,981 before you crashed your head on your way to pick me up, so... 506 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:13,417 We'll... see you when you get out. 507 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,685 Oh. 508 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,525 Fine. Fine. 509 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,106 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 510 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:36,507 Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim. 511 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,442 Oh, my God, what's going on? 512 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:39,510 Is Dwight okay? 513 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,678 Mm-hmm, he should be fine. 514 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,613 But they brought him in for a CAT scan. 515 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,749 I can't believe he's getting a CAT scan. 516 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,117 Michael went in there with him too. 517 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,518 It's pretty sweet. 518 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,054 Really? Michael went in with him? Wow. 519 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,322 But they shouldn't be much longer now. 520 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,490 So we'll be back soon. 521 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,292 Okay, that's... good news. 522 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,762 Um, uh, yeah, no. I'll let you go. 523 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,763 Okay. Bye. 524 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,231 Bye. 525 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,239 Hey, Oscar? 526 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,307 What's up, Pam? 527 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,841 Um, I just wanted to let you know 528 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,243 that Dwight's gonna be okay. 529 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,078 The doctor said there's a really simple treatment 530 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,347 for a concussion, so he'll probably even 531 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,815 be back at work tomorrow. 532 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,250 Okay. 533 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,686 I just, uh, thought you'd wanna know that. 534 00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:27,592 Okay, Mr. Schrute. 535 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,626 Inhale with me 536 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,627 on three. 537 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,596 One, two... 538 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,264 Sir, stop that. 539 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,066 Stop... 540 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,134 Stop that.