1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,067 Let's think this through. 2 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:06,038 If we ask corporate for that, then... 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,141 They are either gonna say... 4 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,943 yes or no. 5 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,444 Could go either way. 6 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,813 We don't know what they are going to say. 7 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,148 Think it through! 8 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,916 Have to think it through. 9 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,918 Because if they say no... 10 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,589 Can we not? 11 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,157 No... yes, we have to. You know why? 12 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,192 'Cause I don't like to be cooped up in that office. 13 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,627 In that box all day long. 14 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,795 Heisman! 15 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,931 Because I need to think. Okay, Jim? 16 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,401 Oh, Kevin! Oooh! 17 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,471 Ugh! Nice catch. 18 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,973 Mm mm mm mm. 19 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,442 Oscar! 20 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,510 Intercepted. 21 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,078 Right here. Give it to me. 22 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,079 Phyllis, give me the ball. 23 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,080 Okay, give me the ball. 24 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,081 You guys... 25 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,482 Creed, give me the ball right now. 26 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,650 Give it to me. Ryan. 27 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,118 Aaaah! 28 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,154 Aaaaah! Fumble! 29 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,455 Yeah! 30 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,292 All right, hey, Dwight! 31 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,695 Whoo! 32 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,097 Hut hut hut hike! 33 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,335 You all right, Ryan? 34 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,937 Yeah. 35 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:15,674 Pam! 36 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,977 Oh, they're having a sale on TiVo. 37 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,581 Maybe I should get a TiVo. 38 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,716 Ooh, DVD burner. 39 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,184 Maybe I should get one of those. 40 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,654 You are so lucky, Jim. 41 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:06,091 You are so lucky you don't have this problem. 42 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,927 What was the ninth place prize again? 43 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,229 A loaf of bread? 44 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,265 Cojino's pizza. 45 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,466 Oh, great. 46 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,068 Tasty terrific pizza. 47 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,906 Question, do their pizzas play DVDs? 48 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,978 Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. 49 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,713 He wins a little prize money and gets honored 50 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,148 at some convention. 51 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:33,352 It is literally the highest possible honor 52 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,654 that a Northeastern Pennsylvania based 53 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,623 mid-size paper company regional salesman 54 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,625 can attain, so... 55 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,027 What did I do to deserve this? 56 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,162 Are you sad that Dwight beat you? 57 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,163 No. 58 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,230 Are you gonna cry, Jim? 59 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,932 Do you need a tissue? 60 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,700 Hey, I heard you got a wedding dress. 61 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,868 Do you have pictures? 62 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,036 Oh, yeah. 63 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,572 I'll show 'em to you later. 64 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,908 Oh, I should get back. 65 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:56,942 Talk to you guys later. 66 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,043 Okay, cool. 67 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,978 I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding. 68 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,014 And I have to do it in the office. 69 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,349 And that can be kind of awkward. 70 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,753 Uh, just because people can get all weird 71 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,421 about wedding stuff. 72 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,957 I just... I don't want to offend... 73 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,093 Angela. Or someone. 74 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,966 That's what she said. 75 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,067 Ha! 76 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,569 I don't get it. 77 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,970 Grapes, seductive. 78 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,307 So, you ready for the big speech this afternoon? 79 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,209 Well, it's not really a big speech. 80 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,276 You're still coming, right? 81 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,112 Oh, absofruitly. 82 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,747 Fruit, grapes. Nailed the joke. 83 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,748 Matter of time. 84 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,317 Uh, and yes, it is a big speech. 85 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,718 Biggest of your life. 86 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,422 Speaker at the sales convention. 87 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,957 Been there, done that. 88 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,825 Went there again, did it again. 89 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,860 Two years in a row. 90 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,330 Consecutive. 91 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:54,233 I just... I miss the feeling of knowing 92 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,134 that you did a good job because somebody 93 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,769 gives you proof of it. 94 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,972 Sir, you're awesome. 95 00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,440 Here's a plaque. 96 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,342 What, a whole year has gone by 97 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,376 and you need more proof? 98 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,444 Here's a certificate. 99 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,080 They stopped making plaques that year. 100 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,116 What if I give a really long extended thank you? 101 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,087 For instance, thank you Mr. blank. 102 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,422 Thank you very, very... 103 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,557 That would look terrible. 104 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,992 These are mostly salesmen. 105 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,927 And salesmen expect to be entertained. 106 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,195 And you are the main act. 107 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,630 When I was in the sixth grade, 108 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,466 I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. 109 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,569 It was me against Raj Patel. 110 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,405 And I misspelled, in front of the entire school, 111 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,441 the word "failure". 112 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,076 I can't do this. 113 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,945 That's because you're incapable of doing it. 114 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,680 Because you don't know how. 115 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,383 Because you have no skills. 116 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,952 Dwight, there's no way I can possible teach you 117 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,420 what you need to know about public speaking 118 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,454 by speech time. 119 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,890 Okay. 120 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,258 But I can teach you enough so that you don't 121 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,593 embarrass me or the company. 122 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,727 Okay, deal. 123 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:56,728 I'll do whatever you say. 124 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:57,829 No questions asked. 125 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,231 Well, if you have a question, you should ask me. 126 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,999 I'll try and think of one. 127 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,334 Don't try to think of a question to humor me. 128 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,803 Just try not to be such an idiot. 129 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,038 Is that an insult or is that 130 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,806 part of the public speaking advice? 131 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:11,176 Insult. 132 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,179 Mom, I'm sorry. 133 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,415 I know you and Dad are chipping in for the wedding, 134 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:20,352 but I do not want orange invitations. 135 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,521 Yes. 136 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,855 Well, if you really want... 137 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,824 Hi, yeah, can I talk to one of your travel agents. 138 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,327 I'm gonna take a trip. 139 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:31,263 I'm gonna get out of town for a while. 140 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:35,167 And go someplace... not here. 141 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,536 Where do I wanna go? 142 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,671 Um, that is an excellent question. 143 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,441 And one I probably should have thought about 144 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,042 before I called you. 145 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,079 I get here early every morning 146 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,548 so I can set the thermostat. 147 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,284 I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. 148 00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,519 I'm more productive. 149 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,821 Maybe some people don't like it 150 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,289 as cold as I do. 151 00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,824 But I don't care. 152 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,793 But seriously, what's the difference 153 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,195 between a salesman and a saleswoman? 154 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,496 A saleswoman has a vagina. 155 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,231 It's a joke, Dwight. It's not a sex ed class. 156 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,299 But I'm right. 157 00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,533 Yeah, you're right about the difference 158 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,102 between a man and a woman but not about the punchline 159 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,003 to the joke, all right? 160 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,740 The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman 161 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,341 is boobs. 162 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,344 Hey, do you remember the speeches that you gave? 163 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,379 I do, both of them. 164 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,580 Could I have a copy of one of them? 165 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,014 No no, they would remember. 166 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,784 Look, it doesn't matter what you say, 167 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,519 it just matters that you're saying something 168 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,987 that people care about. 169 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,222 Yeah? 170 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:32,023 All right, here we go. Watch this. 171 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,459 Attention everybody! Attention please. 172 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,195 I have some very great news from corporate. 173 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,731 We had a wonderful quarter, and as a result, 174 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,334 all of you are getting bonuses for $1,000. 175 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:43,668 Yeah! 176 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,204 Congratulations. 177 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,411 You see that? 178 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,578 You see how they responded to me? 179 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,881 In that moment, I had them. 180 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,016 That is so great about the bonus! 181 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,217 No no, it's not true. 182 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,786 I was just talking. 183 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,388 So just go out there and say anything. 184 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,123 They'll eat it up, they're a great audience. 185 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,225 Go ahead, get the wallpaper. 186 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,727 Wallpaper the ceiling if you want. 187 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,362 Excuse me? 188 00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,697 May I have your attention please? 189 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,834 There had been an accident on 84 West. 190 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,269 Cars have skidded off the road 191 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,703 into the safety railing. 192 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,239 Several cars have flipped. 193 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,707 There is broken glass everywhere. 194 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,444 Several people are injured. 195 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,345 Do we know anyone who was in the accident? 196 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,315 Brad Pitt. 197 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,152 Also, there will be no bonuses. 198 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,287 Why would this affect our bonuses? 199 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,621 They're unrelated. 200 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,856 Is Brad okay? 201 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,090 He will never act again. 202 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,860 Also, this branch is closing. 203 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,061 What the hell is going on here? 204 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,095 Are we out of jobs? 205 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,197 Yes. 206 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,465 This is karma because of what he did 207 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,499 to Jennifer Anniston. 208 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,167 He was kidding. Dwight was kidding. 209 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,270 And I don't know why because it wasn't funny. 210 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,806 And it was just horrible. 211 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,807 Michael? Yeah? 212 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,676 You said we were getting bonuses. 213 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,811 All right, everybody in the conference room now. 214 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,279 Let's go. Let's do it. 215 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,281 Cancel the wallpaper. 216 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,116 As your leader and your friend, 217 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,252 I sort of demand that you can all 218 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,788 speak in public as I can. 219 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,723 And did. Twice. 220 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,692 You saw the plaque, right? 221 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,827 All right, we're all gonna go around the room 222 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,496 and we're going to make toasts. 223 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,998 And that way we will overcome our fear 224 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:20,999 of public speaking. 225 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,367 You mean toastmasters? 226 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,169 Pam, I'm public speaking. 227 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,537 Stop public interrupting me. 228 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,973 Actually, this would be good practice 229 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,274 for your wedding toast. 230 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:32,911 Yeah, the bride doesn't really do... 231 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,079 Have you ever been to a wedding? 232 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,448 Can I go? 233 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:40,252 Yes, good. Jim taking the initiative. 234 00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:44,122 So, uh, I am going on a trip. 235 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,324 But I'm not really sure where I'm going yet. 236 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,526 It's kinda open ended. 237 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,660 So I was hoping maybe you guys 238 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,262 would have some suggestions. 239 00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:51,663 You should go to Hedonism. 240 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,398 What is that? 241 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,502 It's like Club Med, but everything is naked. 242 00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,938 I was thinking more like Europe. 243 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:00,972 Or something like that. 244 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,141 But good second choice. 245 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,976 Been to Amsterdam. 246 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,945 Oh, okay, you know what? 247 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:10,315 That's not a toast. You're not standing up. 248 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,583 To Amsterdam. 249 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,518 When did you go there? 250 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,755 Um, after my divorce. 251 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:17,989 Really? For like how long? 252 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,125 About a week or... 253 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,459 Maybe a month. 254 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,028 Jimmy, listen to me. 255 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,397 You do not want to go to Amsterdam, trust me. 256 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,731 Where do I wanna go? 257 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,700 I'd send you to Hong Kong. 258 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,468 I'd like to say hi to my friends in China. 259 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,310 Okay. Dwight. 260 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,680 Show us what you have learned today. 261 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,820 Good morning, Vietnam! 262 00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,897 Okay, you know what? This isn't working. 263 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,399 Because, um, I'm not nervous in front of them. 264 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,667 They're my subordinates. 265 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,202 No, we're not. 266 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,837 Uh, yes, you are. 267 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,672 I am the assistant regional manager. 268 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,873 Which means absolutely nothing. 269 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,008 Michael, can you explain? 270 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,210 Well, it's mostly made up. 271 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,680 Dwight is not going to do a good job, it's sad. 272 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,881 And they're expecting excellence 273 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,450 because I did do such a great job. 274 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,651 Two years in a row I killed. 275 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:20,952 It was amazing. 276 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,723 Confidence, Dwight! 277 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,764 Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, 278 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:33,798 where would you go? 279 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,634 I can travel anywhere, except Cuba. 280 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,936 And I will travel to New Zealand. 281 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,070 And walk the Lord of the Rings trail 282 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,171 to Mordor. 283 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,140 And then I will hike Mt. Doom. 284 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,142 Now just leave me alone. 285 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,845 Okay, just trying to get some advice on my trip. 286 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,214 Please, you're not taking any trip. 287 00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:57,355 You know, I majored in public speaking in college? 288 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,124 You did? Mm-hmm. 289 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,458 And the first thing that they teach you 290 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,193 is that you've gotta be true to yourself. 291 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:06,197 And you are all about authority. 292 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,099 Yes, I am. 293 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,968 The great speakers throughout history 294 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,138 were not joke tellers, they were people of passion. 295 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,606 So, if you wanna do well today, 296 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,707 you gotta do what they did. 297 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,875 Which is? 298 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,843 You've gotta wave your arms, 299 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,545 and you've gotta pound your fists. 300 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,014 Many times. 301 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,282 So as to emphasize your point. 302 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,619 Okay, I didn't actually major in public speaking. 303 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,854 But I did download speeches from some of history's 304 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,489 famous dictators. 305 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,991 Like this one. 306 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,859 Originally given by Benito Mussolini. 307 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,462 Okay, look, I know you're giving this speech 308 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,563 on your own. 309 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,664 But I wrote up a few talking points 310 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,665 for you to take a look at. 311 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,333 Hope you don't mind. 312 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,435 I'll glance at it. 313 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,639 It's time, Dwight. The grim reaper is here. 314 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,678 The very best of luck to you, Dwight. 315 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,080 Thank you, Angela. 316 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,688 Why'd you pick the VA for the reception? 317 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,256 Roy has a connection. 318 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,258 It's nicer than you think. 319 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,829 You're inviting Jim? 320 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,965 Of course, he's one of my closest friends. 321 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:19,404 All right, ready? 322 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,039 Here we go! 323 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,946 Wow, it's a little bit bigger than I remembered. 324 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:32,050 Come on, we're down here in the front. 325 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,909 I am just feeling under the weather. 326 00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:01,212 And I think that I will go home and rest. 327 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,982 I've never ever seen you take a sick day. 328 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:07,485 Well, I've seen you take enough for the both of us. 329 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,089 Next, I'd like to introduce the Dunder-Miflin 330 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,492 salesman of the year Dwight Schroot! 331 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,901 Dwight, they called your name. 332 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,637 Dwight, how we doing? 333 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,105 Okay, you know what? 334 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,706 You know what? Okay. 335 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,774 No, no problem. 336 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,909 You are lucky you have me here. 337 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,177 I am going to cover for you. 338 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,978 All right! 339 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:44,489 Good morning, Vietnam! 340 00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:52,063 I am not Dwight Schrute. Not at all. 341 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:56,034 I am Michael Scott, his mentor and boss. 342 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,570 And until Dwight comes up, 343 00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,638 if he ever does, 344 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,241 I wanted to say a few words 345 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,443 about excellence. 346 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:09,514 What makes a work environment excellent? 347 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,785 Well, there are many things, I believe, 348 00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:17,488 that do such a thing of that... nature. 349 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:21,893 And one would be humor. 350 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:25,630 What is the difference between a salesman 351 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,732 and a saleswoman? 352 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,143 I always set it at 69. 353 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,715 Maybe we'll use a DJ. 354 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:44,983 That's the one thing Roy's in charge of 355 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,885 for this wedding, but all he's managed to do 356 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,386 is set a date. 357 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,256 Well, he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. 358 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,357 I want a June wedding. 359 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,759 I've always wanted one. 360 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,429 Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married? 361 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,465 Actually, I don't see ever getting married. 362 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,833 Oh. 363 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,009 Ryan, you should be more sensitive. 364 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,611 It's obvious she likes you, and comments like that... 365 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,246 I know what I said. 366 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,516 I'm very sorry, I did not know 367 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,918 that you were wearing a hearing aid. 368 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,388 And I just thought you were speaking abnormally. 369 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:30,762 And now, the black guy from the Police Academy movies. 370 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,530 A robot. 371 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,437 Michael Winslow. Anyone? 372 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,940 A car starting. 373 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,912 All right, Dwight Schroot, everyone. 374 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,450 Good luck. That is a tough crowd. 375 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,869 Blood alone moves the wheels of history! 376 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:15,907 Have you ever asked yourselves 377 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,875 in an hour of meditation, 378 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:22,013 which everyone finds during the day, 379 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:26,684 how long we have been striving for greatness? 380 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,687 Not only the years we've been at war, 381 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,823 the war of work. 382 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:35,059 But from the moment, as a child, 383 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,861 when we realized that the world 384 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,629 could be conquered. 385 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,633 It has been a lifetime struggle. 386 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,102 A never-ending fight. 387 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,772 I say to you, and you will understand, 388 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,975 that it is a privilege to fight! 389 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,150 We are warriors! 390 00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:06,624 Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania, 391 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:10,161 I ask you, once more, rise and be worthy 392 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,563 of this historical hour! 393 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,573 I got a time share on Key West 394 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,609 that might be available. 395 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,745 Maybe. Thanks. 396 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,347 You really think you're gonna go? 397 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,848 Yeah, I'm definitely going. 398 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,518 Nice. Send me a postcard. 399 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,153 Jim has worked at the same place for five years. 400 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,888 Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich 401 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,589 every day for lunch. 402 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,224 I don't know, if I were a betting man, 403 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,193 I'd say he will have a fun weekend 404 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,528 in Philadelphia. 405 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,304 No revolution is worth anything, 406 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:56,507 unless it can defend itself! 407 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:03,014 Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. 408 00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:07,251 They'll conjure up images of used card dealers 409 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,821 and door to door charlatans. 410 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:13,524 This is our duty to change their perception. 411 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:18,129 I say, salesmen... and women... 412 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,199 of the world, unite. 413 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,334 We must never acquiesce. 414 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,336 For it is together! 415 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:29,407 Together that we prevail! 416 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:34,645 We must never cede control of the motherland, 417 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,314 for it is... 418 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:40,318 Together that we prevail! 419 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:51,996 Australia? 420 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,364 I have always wanted to go there. 421 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,532 I'm going. 422 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,033 I'm a little nervous to run into Dwight 423 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,401 on his connecting flight to Mordor, 424 00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,604 but other than that... 425 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,840 Yeah, I bought the ticket. Non-refundable. 426 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,342 That's awesome. Where are you staying? 427 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,443 I don't know. 428 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,611 I feel like I have plenty of time 429 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,879 to figure out the details, but... 430 00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,847 When are you leaving? 431 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,351 I'm leaving on June 8th. 432 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,485 Oh. 433 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:19,657 Yeah, and I'm really sorry about that. 434 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,793 Oh, yeah, that's too bad. 435 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,295 Yeah. 436 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,901 Do want me to take these on my way out? 437 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,335 It's okay, I got it. 438 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,271 All right. 439 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,108 Thanks. 440 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,810 Okay. 441 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,045 There you are. What happened? 442 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,047 I got thirsty. How'd it go? 443 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,048 It was amazing. 444 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,216 I wish you would have been there. 445 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,585 You would not believe what happened here. 446 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,753 What, did something happen? 447 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:53,457 Oh, this woman came in. Sat down. 448 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:54,725 Ordered a drink. 449 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,394 The bartender asked for her ID, 450 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,428 which I thought was odd. 451 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,663 Because I pegged her as, like, 35. 452 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,398 Weird. Yeah, really weird. 453 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,333 So, she's like, I don't have my ID. 454 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,501 Please give me one. 455 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:04,635 And he's like, I can't do that. 456 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,103 I can't serve you. 457 00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,939 Con artist. She might have been. 458 00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,374 So she says fine, I will go to my room. 459 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,143 I will get my purse. I will come back. 460 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,177 I'll show you my ID. 461 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,579 She hasn't come back yet. 462 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:18,349 She's probably in the room drinking from the minibar. 463 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,652 Dwight gave a great speech. 464 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,588 That's the word on the street, anyway. 465 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:26,891 And I entertained Dwight to no end 466 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,226 with my bar story. 467 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:32,029 So I captivated the guy who captivated 1,000 guys. 468 00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,733 Can you believe that? 1,000 guys.