1 00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:01,967 I am actually looking forward 2 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,002 to take your daughter to work day. 3 00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:05,437 I am not great with kids. 4 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,740 But I wanna get better because I'm getting married. 5 00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:10,709 So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk 6 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,644 so the kids will come talk to me. 7 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:16,949 Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel. 8 00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,917 Bribery. Nice. 9 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,419 Oh, I have more. 10 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,720 It's Pam. 11 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,856 Ms. Beasley if you're nasty. 12 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,024 Janet Jackson. 13 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,058 Hey, you having a wardrobe malfunction, or... 14 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,893 You can't be nasty today. 15 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,597 Oh, God. Is that today? 16 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,132 I reminded you last night. 17 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,100 Listen, I like kids. 18 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,335 But this is not a kids environment. 19 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:39,271 This is like HBO. No limits. 20 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,773 Who knows what I'm gonna say? 21 00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:42,007 Crazy stuff. 22 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,876 And it is R rated. 23 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,411 It is not rated G. 24 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:48,047 I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw. 25 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,249 And they are trying to make me into 26 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,717 Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare. 27 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,253 Both great movies, but still. 28 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,388 Well, I'll be in my office. 29 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,689 Don't you think you should say something? 30 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,824 They're cool. 31 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,526 Michael, I think that as the boss, you should... 32 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,494 Fine fine fine fine fine! 33 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,695 Hi, children. 34 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:06,765 I'm Michael Scott. 35 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,601 And I am in charge of this place. 36 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,671 Uh, how do I make you understand? 37 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,340 I am like Superman. 38 00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,408 And the people who work here 39 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,410 are like citizens of Gotham city. 40 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,545 That's Batman. That's Batman. 41 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,413 Okay, I'm Aquaman. 42 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,748 Where does he live, guys? 43 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,816 The ocean. 44 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,285 I work with a bunch of nerds. 45 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,928 Mmm. Hello, tiny one. 46 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,864 Come on. 47 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,866 You are the future. 48 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,838 This is my file cabinet. 49 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,444 Um... 50 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:32,417 Oh, this is the partition between my desk 51 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,685 and Angela's. 52 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,589 Abby's my fiancé Stacy's daughter. 53 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,224 I think she'll have a good time. 54 00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:44,029 I just hope she doesn't look on my computer. 55 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:47,065 Actually, I'd better go check. 56 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,336 Michael, you remember my daughter Melissa. 57 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,272 Oh, yes. Hello, how are you? 58 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,306 Good to see you. 59 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,607 Wow, you've really grown up. 60 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,442 You know what? 61 00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:58,710 Don't mind me saying so. 62 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,313 She is turning into a stone cold fox. 63 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,682 Better keep the frat boys away from her. 64 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,350 I'm in 8th grade. 65 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,819 Oh... She's in middle school. 66 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,421 Yeah, middle school's amazing. 67 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,756 It is extraordinary. 68 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,057 An extraordinary time. 69 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,126 It's not that children make me uncomfortable. 70 00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,861 It's just that, why be a dad 71 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,462 when you can be a fun uncle? 72 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,797 I've never heard of anyone rebelling 73 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,332 against their fun uncle. 74 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,467 They want how many spiral pads? 75 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:25,204 Uh, well, 50. 76 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,739 I over ordered because they had a back order. 77 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,408 I got permission to bring Jakey in to work. 78 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,977 Which is great because he got suspended this week, 79 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:35,214 and now I don't have to pay for a sitter. 80 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,182 Can you pull that down there? 81 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,052 Okay, tell 'em what you wanted to say. 82 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,186 Do you need any help? 83 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,789 No, thanks. 84 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,891 We'd have to explain everything. 85 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,293 It's probably just easier if we do it ourselves. 86 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,597 All right, I wasn't expecting that. 87 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,899 Let's go draw. 88 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,034 Oh, my God. She is so cute, I wanna die. 89 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:59,238 Don't you just love kids, Angela? 90 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,274 I guess I wouldn't mind a pair of small, well behaved boys. 91 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,543 God, I cannot wait to get pregnant 92 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,445 and have babies. 93 00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:10,182 Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun. 94 00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:12,618 And I'm learning that fun for Kelly 95 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:16,488 is getting married and having babies. 96 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,224 Immediately. With me. 97 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,727 Just compare last year's orders 98 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,829 with this year's. Uh-huh. 99 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,597 Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. 100 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,336 Yes. 101 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,505 We... 102 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:37,109 Yeah, they're very... 103 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,244 They're different. 104 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,214 Yeah, we can stick with last year's. 105 00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,116 We're just gonna have to supplement it somehow. 106 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:49,521 Hey, Abby, do you wanna help me shred some old documents? 107 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,323 It's actually pretty cool. 108 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,391 No, thanks. 109 00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,194 I only have one goal today. 110 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,963 To make one kid like me. 111 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:00,932 Just one. 112 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,234 What are you reading? 113 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:05,404 From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. 114 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,639 Oh, best book. 115 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,675 Yeah, but I read it before. 116 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,343 So have I. 117 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:14,112 Hey, question, if you had to spend the night in the Met 118 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,348 or the aquarium, which would it be? 119 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,050 Definitely the aquarium. Definitely. 120 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:20,719 Yes. Glad you said that. 121 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,688 You don't wanna help me with some of my sales, do you? 122 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,889 'Cause I'm kinda swamped. 123 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,090 Sure. Really? 124 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,091 Mmm-hmm. 125 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:29,194 Yes. And you're Abby, right? 126 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,529 Yeah. I'm Jim. 127 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,698 Let's sell some paper. 128 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,799 All right. 129 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,568 Let's start with your mom. 130 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,636 Yes. 131 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:41,173 Well, we can... Um... 132 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,842 Hey, you know what? Can I call you back? 133 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,910 I'll call you right back. 134 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,244 Yes, I promise. 135 00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:52,451 Hello. Can I help you? 136 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,621 You can pick that up if you want. 137 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,123 That's all right. 138 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,426 Wanna bring it over... 139 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,362 Here, I'll make some room. 140 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,238 My name's Michael. What's your name? 141 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,540 Sasha. Nice to meet you. 142 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,409 Ooh! Oh, you know what that is? 143 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,644 That is a train whistle. 144 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,813 Like I'm the conductor. 145 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,649 But I'm sort of the conductor of the office here, right? 146 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,753 You wanna try? 147 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:28,987 Sure. 148 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,322 All aboard for sales! 149 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:35,360 Next stop, Cook... camonga! 150 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,296 Ow ow ow ow, you broke my hand. 151 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,998 There is no way that hurt. 152 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,201 Really? 'Cause she's pretty strong, Dwight. 153 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,738 Little girl, come over here. 154 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,673 Shake my hand. 155 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,108 Come on, I don't have all day. 156 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,247 I didn't feel anything. Nothing. 157 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,882 You're so weak. 158 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,622 Excuse me, these are expensive collector's items. 159 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,656 Okay? 160 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,690 Do you have any computer games? 161 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,559 No, I don't have computer games 162 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,227 on my work computer. That would be inappropriate. 163 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,096 Yeah, Meredith doesn't have any either. 164 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,531 It's so lame here. 165 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,866 You call your mom Meredith? 166 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:15,934 That's very disrespectful. 167 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,269 Whatever, okay? 168 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:20,338 You can refer to me as Mr. Schroot. 169 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,840 That's your name? Mm-hmm. 170 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:22,841 Mr. Poop? 171 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,243 Schroot. Mr. Schroot. 172 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,245 Sure, Mr. Poop. 173 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,750 Schroot. 174 00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,059 Are you Mother Goose? 175 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,864 I drink, like, 100 iced macchiatos a day 176 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,733 and practically nothing else. Wow. 177 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,936 There's a really cool coffee place, Jitters, 178 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,538 at the Steamtown Mall. You ever been there? 179 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,639 No. 180 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,675 You've never been to Jitters? 181 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,577 Ryan, you are so dorky. 182 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,947 Give me your number so I can text you. 183 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,415 Um... 184 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,817 Come on. 185 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,619 Can I have your email address? 186 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,120 I just thought you should know... 187 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,522 Mmm-hmm? 188 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,091 I think something a little fishy is going on. 189 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,060 A little fishy? Yeah. 190 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,495 I mean, I've been noticing them all day. 191 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,929 And I was thinking... 192 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,798 That little girl is a child! 193 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,334 I don't wanna see you sniffing around her 194 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,735 anymore this afternoon. Do you understand? 195 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,604 Yes. Boy, have you lost your mind? 196 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,705 'Cause I'll help you find it. 197 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,772 Whatcha looking for? 198 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,807 Ain't nobody gonna help you out there. 199 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:29,975 Jesus can come through that door, 200 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:29,975 and he's not gonna help you 201 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:33,178 if you don't stop sniffing after my child. Okay. 202 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,847 Stanley yelled at me today. 203 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,516 That was one of the most frightening experiences 204 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,750 of my life. 205 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,631 That was Greensleeves. 206 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,065 A traditional English ballad 207 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,567 about the beheaded Anne Boleyn. 208 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,470 And now, a very special treat. 209 00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:00,372 A book my granmutter used to read me 210 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,907 when I was a kid. 211 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,341 This is a very special story. 212 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:07,279 It's called Struwwelpeter by Heinrich Hoffmann 213 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:09,381 from 1864. 214 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:14,252 The great tall tailor always comes to little girls 215 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,388 that suck their thumbs. Are you listening, Sasha? 216 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,489 Right? 217 00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,524 And ere they dream what he is about, 218 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,860 he takes his great sharp scissors out 219 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,029 and then cuts their thumbs clean off. 220 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,130 Dwight, Dwight. 221 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,798 What the hell are you reading? 222 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,333 These are cautionary tales for kids, Michael. 223 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,334 Yeah, you know what? No. 224 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,502 No no no no no. 225 00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,704 The kids don't wanna hear some weirdo book 226 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,940 that your Nazi war criminal grandmother gave you. 227 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,041 What's a Nazi? 228 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,242 What's a Nazi? 229 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,543 Nazi was a fascist movement in the 1930s. 230 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,845 Don't talk about Nazis in front of... 231 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,814 You know what? They're gonna have nightmares. 232 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,015 Why don't you just shut it? 233 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,617 I was gonna teach the children how to make 234 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,385 corn husk dolls. 235 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,487 Why don't you just leave, okay? 236 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:52,824 Bye, Mr. Poop. 237 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,960 All right, there goes Mr. Poop. 238 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,828 Now, who likes Dane Cook? 239 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,896 I do! 240 00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,264 Children cannot lie. 241 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,832 They are innocent, and they speak the truth. 242 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:04,069 And out of the mouths of babes, 243 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,438 Michael Scott is freakin' cool. 244 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,513 You know, I never misbehaved in front of my father. 245 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,450 Because he was a very strict disciplinarian. 246 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,651 I can only hope my mate 247 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,020 has some of those same qualities. 248 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,861 This is where the magic happens. 249 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,529 Right over here, let me show you this. 250 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,164 See all these? 251 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,700 You know what that is? That's paper. 252 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,669 This is where paper comes from. 253 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,037 Any questions? 254 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,107 So, you cut the paper and dye it and stuff? 255 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,442 No, we don't actually cut the paper. 256 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,510 That's a good question. 257 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,946 The paper is sent to us cut and dyed 258 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,681 from a paper manufacturer. 259 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,716 And then we sell it to a business 260 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,785 for more than we pay for it. 261 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,020 That's not fair. 262 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,955 No. Yes, it is. 263 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,823 It's... well, you need someone in the middle to facilitate... 264 00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,858 You're just a middleman. 265 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,192 I'm not just a middleman. 266 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,727 Wait, why doesn't the sawmill just sell the paper 267 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:03,962 directly to people? 268 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,498 You are describing Office Depot. 269 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,266 And they're kind of running us out of business. 270 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:11,136 We have better service than they do. 271 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:17,942 There's Creed! Let's take a look at what he's doing, everybody. 272 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,111 This is Creed. 273 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,214 And he is in charge of... something, right? 274 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,616 That is correct. Say hi to the kids. 275 00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:25,684 Hi, kids. 276 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,621 You ever seen a foot with four toes? 277 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,622 Eww! What are you doing? 278 00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:31,856 Stop it, stop it! 279 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,024 Just no no no. No, no! 280 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,159 Would you cut it out? 281 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,160 What is your problem? 282 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,461 No no no. 283 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,797 We're not gonna see the four-toed Creed, okay? 284 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,765 You know, there's something interesting 285 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:41,833 about me that you might wanna know. 286 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,669 I used to be the star of a kids show. 287 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,671 No way. It's true, I did. 288 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,839 You serious? 289 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,107 I am totally serious. 290 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,109 There was a show called Fundle Bundle, 291 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,777 and I was the star. 292 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,312 What? It's true. 293 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,413 I can prove it. 294 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,681 I can prove it. Watch this. 295 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:57,982 Ryan, can you come here a second? 296 00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:00,952 I would like you to go to my mother's house 297 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,487 in Dixon City. 298 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,589 And if she's at the pool, 299 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,790 the back kitchen window should be unlocked. 300 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,058 I want you boost yourself up. 301 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,426 I want you to go down to the basement. 302 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,895 In the basement is a tape labeled Fundle Bundle. 303 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,465 I want you grab it. I want you to get my guitar. 304 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,566 I want you to get a tambourine. 305 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,034 Do you know how to play the tambourine? 306 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,869 I'm already getting the pizzas from Brenetti's, so... 307 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,003 I can go with him. 308 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,805 No, I will go. 309 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,575 Okay! Thank you, Ryan. 310 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,876 Good attitude. Hottest in the office. 311 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,313 All right, now what kind of pizza do you like? 312 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,714 I don't get why parents are always complaining 313 00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,750 about how tough it is to raise kids. 314 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,953 You joke around with them. You give 'em pizza. 315 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,121 You give 'em candy. 316 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,489 You let 'em live their lives. 317 00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:38,857 They're adults, for God's sake. 318 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:42,660 I am going to give you a little blast from the past 319 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,663 of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star. 320 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,265 And a show that you might remember 321 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,033 called Fundle Bundle. 322 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,902 Okay, without further ado, Ryan? 323 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:53,671 Bundle, are you read to come on in? 324 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,774 Yeah! Let's have some fun! 325 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,008 That is Miss Trudy. 326 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,576 Can't tell from her costume, 327 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,445 but she had an amazing body. 328 00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,782 Okay, you can fast forward. 329 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:06,050 And, I want you... It's coming up... stop! 330 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,519 Stop stop! 331 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,653 Stop. 332 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,055 Yes! 333 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,458 That is Edward R. Meow. 334 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,894 That's pretty funny. 335 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,195 Yeah. 336 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,864 Hey, what's your name? 337 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,332 My name's Chet. 338 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,567 Well, hi, Chet. 339 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,402 Is that Chet Montgomery? 340 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,237 I don't know. Yeah, that is! 341 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,306 He's the meteorologist from channel 4. 342 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,009 Checking in with Chet. Doppler 7. 343 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,811 That guy's legit. 344 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,079 What do you wanna be when you grow up? 345 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,781 I wanna be on TV. 346 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,851 And he is on TV now! 347 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,053 Everybody please shut up. Please. 348 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,454 So you don't miss it. 349 00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,924 Okay, next. 350 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,392 So, what's your name? That's me. 351 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,960 That's me. 352 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:53,565 Well, what's your favorite subject in school? 353 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:54,599 Recess. 354 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,100 Recess. 355 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,536 So, tell me, what do you wanna be 356 00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,904 when you grow up? 357 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,273 I wanna be married and have 100 kids 358 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,076 so I can have 100 friends. 359 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,278 And no one can say no to being my friend. 360 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:14,185 Uh... Oh, okay. 361 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,954 Well, nice talking with you, Michael. 362 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,689 Back to you, Miss Trudy! 363 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,691 Hi, everyone, it's one of my favorite.. 364 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,725 Could have sworn there was... 365 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,627 Did you get married? 366 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,628 Uh, no. 367 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,629 Why not? 368 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,165 Uh, it just never happened. 369 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,767 So do you have any kids? 370 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,469 Uh, nope. 371 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,937 Do you have a girlfriend? I do okay. 372 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,005 Was Chet Montgomery cool back then? 373 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,440 Yes. Even I have a girlfriend. 374 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:36,674 Okay. All right, okay. 375 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,244 So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be. 376 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,014 I guess not. 377 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,719 You know, I have a load of work to do. 378 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,754 So I am going to grab a slice 379 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,389 of this delish pizza. 380 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,492 And I'm gonna go do my work. 381 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,327 Bye. 382 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,006 He's not coming out. 383 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,240 He won't pick up the phone. 384 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,942 I can't believe his mom dressed him like that. 385 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,644 That's the real tragedy. 386 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:14,979 Pam, Pam! 387 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,281 I love this guy. 388 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:30,128 So, Melissa, I met your mom a couple times. 389 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,196 She's so nice. 390 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,866 Who, Terry? Mmm-hmm. 391 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:38,136 That woman is not my mother. That is my stepmother. 392 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:43,708 Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something. 393 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,311 Uh, okay, but first that's not my name. 394 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,478 You're ugly. 395 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,017 Well, at least I'm not a horrible little latchkey kid 396 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:57,455 who got suspended from school, so... 397 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,890 Meredith! 398 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,271 Yeah? 399 00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:17,108 I think these belong to you. 400 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,979 Oh, that's okay. She can keep those. 401 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,448 Believe me, she has enough toys. 402 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,984 She doesn't need your watch. 403 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,218 Thank you. 404 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,190 Is everything okay? 405 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,560 You have to ask me that 406 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,228 because you work for human resources. 407 00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:39,931 That's true. 408 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,433 You know, sure, playing the field is great. 409 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,568 Don't get me wrong. 410 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,769 But there's more to life 411 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,371 than notches on my bedpost. 412 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,539 Tell me something honestly. 413 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:52,143 Do you think that it is too late 414 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,378 for me to have kids? 415 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,681 Well, you need a wife first or at least a girlfriend. 416 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,616 What about... Not Jan. 417 00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,884 Jan. Okay. 418 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:00,952 If you really wanna have kids, 419 00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,888 I guess you could somehow. 420 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,493 Foster parent or something. 421 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,363 Or biologically. 422 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,532 Somehow. 423 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:16,934 Thanks, that's... 424 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,170 No, that really means a lot to me. 425 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,642 Hey, does Sasha have a godfather? 426 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,710 Because... Yes. 427 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,311 Okay. 428 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:30,481 Is it okay if I take one? 429 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,849 Sure. 430 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,318 Thank you. You're welcome. 431 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,120 Is your job hard? 432 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:38,623 It's not too bad. 433 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,792 I get to shred things sometimes. 434 00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:41,793 Do you wanna see? 435 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,294 Yeah. 436 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,829 Really? Yeah. 437 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,931 Okay. 438 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,435 Um, here it is. 439 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,904 Don't put your fingers in there. 440 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:56,274 Cool, huh? That's so cool. 441 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,142 Yeah. 442 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,144 Yeah, I get to do this, like, every week. 443 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,179 That's so awesome. 444 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,414 Yes, it is true. 445 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,250 I, Michael Scott, am signing up 446 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,352 with an online dating service. 447 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,754 Thousands of people have done it, 448 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,656 and I am going to do it. 449 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,724 I need a user name. 450 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,359 And I have a great one. 451 00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:21,799 Littlekidlover. 452 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,234 That was people will know 453 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,603 exactly where my priorities are at. 454 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,675 Go ahead. 455 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,910 Do you wanna come over for dinner tonight? 456 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,613 Oh man, I would love to. 457 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,716 I can't tonight, but can I come over some other time? 458 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,985 What are you doing? You never have plans. 459 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,488 Thanks, Kev. 460 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,889 Um, I'm actually going on a date. 461 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,524 Nice. 462 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,893 Hey, uh, no, please. 463 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,094 You can't leave yet. 464 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,762 There's still one more thing we need to do. 465 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,692 Why does he own a guitar if he doesn't 466 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:22,894 know how to play it? 467 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:26,164 I think he thought his ukulele skills would transfer. 468 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,338 My theory is that... 469 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,131 And they do. 470 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,966 Your parents love you very much. 471 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:02,967 One more time. 472 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,305 The Schroots considered children very valuable. 473 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,706 In the olden days 474 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,675 the women would bear many children 475 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,077 so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. 476 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,112 And if it was an especially cold winter 477 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,848 and there weren't enough grains or vegetables, 478 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,419 they would eat the weakest of the brood. 479 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,453 No! 480 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,589 They didn't eat the children. 481 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,657 It never came to that.