1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:02,801
So Phil recruited me
to sell these cards,

2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,003
and now I am recruiting you.

3
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,671
Who is this guy again?

4
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:05,671
Don't worry about Phil.

5
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:09,074
He drives a Corvette.
He is doing just fine.

6
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:12,911
Okay, calling cards
are the wave of the future.

7
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,313
These things sell themselves.

8
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,181
Who uses calling cards anymore?

9
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,983
You know what, that's a nice
attitude, Ryan.

10
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,185
I'm just helping you invest
in your future, my friend.

11
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,453
It sounds like
a get-rich-quick scheme.

12
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,188
Yes. Thank you.
You will get rich quick.

13
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,690
We all will.

14
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,358
Didn't you lose a lot of money

15
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,894
on that other investment...
the one from the email?

16
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,562
You know what, Toby,
when the son

17
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,498
of the deposed king of Nigeria
emails you directly

18
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,067
asking for help, you help.

19
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,603
His father ran the freaking
country, okay?

20
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,571
All right.

21
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,373
So raise your hand
if you want to get rich.

22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,209
All right.
No.

23
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,979
Um, how is this not
a pyramid scheme?

24
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:49,281
All right, let me explain again.

25
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:55,020
Phil has recruited me
and another guy.

26
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,523
Now we are getting
three people each.

27
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,691
The more people
that get involved,

28
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:00,926
the more people

29
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,795
who are investing,

30
00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:04,563
and the more money
we're all gonna make.

31
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,898
It's not a pyramid scheme.

32
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,867
It's not even a scheme,
per se, it's...

33
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,577
I have to go make a call.

34
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,186
Happy birthday, Michael.
Oh ho ho.

35
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,588
What?

36
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,856
I said happy birthday.

37
00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:05,958
Thank you.
That's really nice.

38
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,760
Today is my b-day
and people around here

39
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,395
just go crazy for it.

40
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,064
I don't know why.

41
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:15,267
Oh, fun fact. I share
my birthday with Eva Longoria.

42
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,871
So I have a perfect icebreaker

43
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,306
if I ever meet Teri Hatcher.

44
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,508
You excited?

45
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,609
Mm-hmm.

46
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,743
Everybody freaking out?

47
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,911
Mm-hmm.
Cool.

48
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,913
Gonna be fun.
You're late.

49
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:31,150
But I forgive you because
"doth it is my birthday."

50
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,318
What's up?

51
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,689
Oh, happy birthday.

52
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,358
Ah, thank you, sir.

53
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,494
Michael's birthday.

54
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,996
It's pretty fun to watch,
actually.

55
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,932
He gets very excited,
and then he eats a lot of cake.

56
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,767
And then he runs around
the office.

57
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,936
Then he has a sugar crash
in the afternoon.

58
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,671
And then he falls asleep.

59
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,741
And that's when we get
our work done.

60
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,115
Did you hear anything yet?

61
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,018
No. I'm still waiting.

62
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,688
Yeah.
Yes.

63
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,290
There he is, the birthday boy.

64
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,691
Oh, God.
Birthday hug.

65
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,193
No, no, no. New suit.

66
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,195
Please.
That suit is amazing.

67
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,830
Thank you very much.
It is from Italy.

68
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,400
Actually, no, Bulgaria.

69
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,702
Maybe I should get one.

70
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,971
Good luck.
One of a kind.

71
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,307
EBay. Question.

72
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,641
May I be in charge

73
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,109
of the party planning
festivities?

74
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,277
Not necessary.

75
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,679
The party planning committee
is all over it.

76
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,114
They've been working
24/7 all day yesterday.

77
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,084
Excellent. On my part,
I did manage to reserve the...

78
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,352
Don't. No. Please.

79
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,054
Don't want to spoil it
for anybody.

80
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,355
Spoil the surprise.

81
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,023
Let's get the party started.

82
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,291
Let's get the party started.

83
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,693
Not the way I taught you.

84
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,632
When should we
bring out the cake?

85
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:54,933
1:00 or 1:30?

86
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,836
1:00's good.
1:30.

87
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,473
I'm sorry.
Are we boring you?

88
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,308
Party planning committee,
listen up.

89
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,610
Michael would like trick candles

90
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,278
for his birthday cake.

91
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,546
So make that a priority.

92
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,680
Where do we get those?

93
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,881
Not my problem.

94
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,216
Here's a list of things

95
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:14,620
that Michael would like
to be surprised by.

96
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,321
Michael wants a strippergram?

97
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:19,324
Yes, but he doesn't want
to know when or whom.

98
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,626
No.

99
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,928
This is a closed door meeting.

100
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:33,739
Yeah.

101
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,540
Michael, I have Jan on the line.

102
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,175
Oh, great. Put her through.

103
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,477
Hello, Michael.

104
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,978
Hey, you.

105
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,481
I'm returning your call.
You said it was urgent.

106
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,982
It is urgent.

107
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,484
I just wanted to call
and wish you a happy birthday.

108
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,619
Well, today's
not my birthday, so.

109
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:51,757
Really? 'Cause I thought
we had the same birthday.

110
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,760
Happy birthday, Michael.

111
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:55,961
Thanks.

112
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:57,963
Am I on camera?

113
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,366
Nope. Totally private.

114
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:06,038
You can say whatever
is in your heart.

115
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,410
You can take a five if you want.

116
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,663
Somebody brought in donuts
for my birthday.

117
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,398
Happy birthday.

118
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,334
Thanks.

119
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,339
Man, I'm so sorry.

120
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,840
When do you find out?

121
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,642
They said this afternoon.

122
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,577
They're waiting on a second opinion.
Oh, okay.

123
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,746
Second opinion on what?

124
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,348
I might have skin cancer.

125
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,449
Oh, no.

126
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,450
I was watching Grey's Anatomy,

127
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,984
and there was a lifeguard on it.

128
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,120
And he had skin cancer too.
Kelly, you know what...

129
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,722
I never really thought
about death

130
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,223
until Princess Diana died.

131
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,659
That was the saddest
funeral ever.

132
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,030
That and my sister's.

133
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,431
Who brought in donuts?

134
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,100
Somebody got donuts
for my birthday.

135
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,835
Happy birthday.

136
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,570
You didn't know
it was my birthday.

137
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:12,971
I guess I forgot.

138
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,173
Well, I guess I forgot
to give you a donut.

139
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,442
You serious?

140
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,021
Skin cancer is treatable.

141
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,690
Right.
It's gonna be okay.

142
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,525
You don't know
it's going to be okay.

143
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,293
Don't give him false hope.

144
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:41,400
It's probably nothing though.

145
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,668
Hi. Delivery
for Michael Scott.

146
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,337
Here we go.

147
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:48,073
Okay, this is great.

148
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,642
Thank you, my friends.
She is perfect.

149
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,177
Uh.

150
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,678
Dwight, may I have
your chair, please?

151
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,014
And some singles, if you will.

152
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,083
All right.

153
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,454
Okay.

154
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,089
Um...

155
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,624
All right.
This has arms.

156
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,559
Is that gonna be, uh...
Is that all right?

157
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,228
Sure.

158
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,396
Okay.

159
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:14,399
I'm so nervous.

160
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:16,968
I can sign for it.

161
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,837
Oh, thanks.

162
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,773
When I was seven,

163
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:27,245
my mother hired a pony
and a cart

164
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,347
to come to my house
for all the kids.

165
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:33,518
And I got a really bad rash

166
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,187
from the pony.

167
00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:37,322
And all the kids
got to ride the pony.

168
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,723
And I had to go inside.

169
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,692
And my mother was rubbing
cream on me

170
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,427
for probably three hours.

171
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,262
And I never came outside.

172
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,864
And by the time I got out,

173
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,365
the pony was already
in the truck

174
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,567
and around the corner.

175
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,369
So that was my worst birthday.

176
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,948
Stop it. Stop!
What is that?

177
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,617
It's For The Longest Time
by William Joel.

178
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:06,985
It's your favorite song.

179
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,753
Yeah, when it's on the radio.

180
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,522
My birthday blows.

181
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,859
Nobody even signed
my birthday poster.

182
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,061
Apparently my mother
is the only one

183
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,630
who cares enough
to send me anything.

184
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,265
I probably care more
than she does.

185
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,833
You're making it worse.

186
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:24,703
I bet Luke Perry's friends

187
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,405
don't treat him like this.

188
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,274
When does he hear?

189
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,909
Sometime today.

190
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,144
Poor Kevin.

191
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,981
If I knew I had a week to live,

192
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,684
I would probably go to Europe...

193
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,520
and South America...

194
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,688
and the Grand Canyon...

195
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,725
and I would want to see
the Pacific Ocean.

196
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,462
It would be a pretty busy week.

197
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:53,999
Uh, that's a list price
of $4.50.

198
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,101
Unfortunately, this item
is on back order.

199
00:08:58,472 --> 00:08:59,905
Michael! Michael!

200
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,306
Michael, Michael, Michael.

201
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,641
Come here, come here, come here.

202
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,676
Listen up, everyone.

203
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,845
It is 11:23 exactly.

204
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,380
The exact moment

205
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,216
when you emerged from your
mother's vaginal canal.

206
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,818
So, huh?

207
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,954
Have a seat, please. Oh, God.

208
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,323
There is a tradition
that the Hebrews have

209
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,191
of hoisting the birthday boy

210
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,227
up on a chair.

211
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,762
So come over, help me celebrate

212
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,230
Michael's birth moment.

213
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,531
Kevin.
No, no, no.

214
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,766
I'll do it.

215
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,001
Ryan, come on.
Let's do this.

216
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,338
I feel like we should
go get Kevin something.

217
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,508
Do you think we can sneak
out of here?

218
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,377
Maybe, but we're going
to need somebody

219
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,845
to create a diversion.

220
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,048
On three
we're gonna hoist away! Ready?

221
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,283
Happy birth moment, Michael.

222
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,919
Thank you.

223
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,921
One, two, three.

224
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,157
Whoa, whoa. All right.
All right.

225
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,692
Watch it, please.

226
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,893
It wasn't me.

227
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,266
Okay, that is not
an eight-foot sub.

228
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,601
We don't make
an eight-foot sub.

229
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:03,868
This is eight one-foot subs.

230
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,371
F.

231
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,206
All right, what's the damage?

232
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,342
39.60.

233
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,213
39.

234
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:21,886
60.

235
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:23,388
Why tip someone for a job

236
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,656
I'm capable of doing myself?

237
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,157
I can deliver food.

238
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,959
I can drive a taxi.

239
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,996
I can and do cut my own hair.

240
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,131
I did, however, tip my urologist

241
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:38,370
because I am unable to pulverize
my own kidney stones.

242
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:39,938
Here they come.

243
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,106
Get in here.

244
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,807
Come and get it.
Everybody.

245
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,876
Birthday party subs.
My gift to you.

246
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:45,944
What is this?

247
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,946
Baloney, tomato, and ketchup.
The best.

248
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,748
These are all the same. Yes.

249
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,716
Baloney?
I don't eat baloney.

250
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:54,219
Well, then just have
the tomato and ketchup.

251
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,420
Still good.
No.

252
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,188
Just the bread.
It's fresh baked.

253
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,423
No.

254
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,862
- Get whatever you want.
- You can choke on it.

255
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,597
When I was 16,

256
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,433
I was supposed to go out
on a date

257
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,336
with a girl named Julie.

258
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,572
But there was another
Michael in the class

259
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,742
that she apparently
thought the date was with.

260
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,612
So she went out with him
on my birthday.

261
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:24,582
And she got him a cake
at the restaurant.

262
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,118
And it wasn't even his birthday.

263
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,987
But I heard about it
the next day in school.

264
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:33,291
So that was the worst
birthday I think I ever had.

265
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,794
So we got Kev some stuff.

266
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:39,297
Um, party pack of M&Ms,
his favorite candy.

267
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:42,567
A DVD of American Pie 2,
which is his favorite movie.

268
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,102
And he lent it to Creed.

269
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,705
So I can guarantee you
he won't get that back.

270
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,707
69 Cup of Noodles.

271
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,275
Which we realize sounds crass,

272
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,943
but it is his favorite number.

273
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,878
And his favorite lunch.

274
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,850
Hey, temp, you know, uh,

275
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,819
we still got five feet
of sandwich left.

276
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,088
Someone ate three feet
of that thing?

277
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,355
Hell, yeah.

278
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,191
Save room for ice cream cake.

279
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,059
Thank you.
Oh, I got it.

280
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,862
The party planner committee.

281
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,098
This is the most important day
of the year.

282
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,866
I can't risk anything.

283
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,069
Fine.

284
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,971
What about that meeting later

285
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,008
to discuss finances?

286
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,777
Yes.

287
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,480
But don't expect any cookie.

288
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,616
But what if I'm hungry?

289
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,686
No cookie.

290
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:52,704
What?

291
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,539
You use fabric softener?

292
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,208
Yeah. You don't?
No, I do.

293
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,544
Okay.

294
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,628
Hello. Hey.

295
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,963
Kevin.

296
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,865
Respect the birthday, please.

297
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:24,536
No, not yet. I will.
Thanks.

298
00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:27,539
It was just Stacey.
Are you done?

299
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,507
Good.

300
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,109
Okay.
Here we go.

301
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,477
Make a wish.
I'm gonna...

302
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,645
blow out the candles.
Okay.

303
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,480
Mmm.

304
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,751
Yeah! Yay!

305
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,188
I asked for trick candles.

306
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,956
Pam was supposed to get them.

307
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,859
Well, when she comes back,
we'll do it again.

308
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,561
Hello.

309
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,429
What about the birthday boy?

310
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,731
Haven't had a hug all day.

311
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,334
No one cares
about your birthday.

312
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,537
Kevin's waiting to hear
if he has skin cancer.

313
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:09,380
Ha, that sucks.

314
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,448
Great.

315
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:17,922
Wow, that's good timing.

316
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,592
Sorry. That's terrible.
Terrible news.

317
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:22,460
That's terrible...

318
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,229
terrible news for both of us.

319
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,908
We should probably head back.
Yeah. Okay.

320
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,210
Oh, I dare you
to make an announcement.

321
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,446
You dare me?
How old are you?

322
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,548
Just quit stalling.

323
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:48,820
Luke, this is your father.

324
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:52,457
Come set the table for dinner.

325
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:53,958
Such a dork.

326
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,527
Jim Halpert,

327
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,529
price check on fabric softener.

328
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,797
The kind...

329
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,132
Ma'am, please don't touch that.

330
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,367
That is not a toy.

331
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,603
I'm sorry. Sorry.

332
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,939
How old are you?

333
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,174
I hate you.

334
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,476
Honestly, is there any way

335
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,144
you can get
on your fiancee's plan?

336
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,479
Our health plan
is... it's terrible.

337
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,813
There you are.
Good news.

338
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,315
Did some research.

339
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,450
It turns out that 98%

340
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,219
of people with skin cancer
fully recover.

341
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,321
Still scary.

342
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,657
Yeah. But it's not
brain cancer.

343
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,126
And it shouldn't stop us
from having fun.

344
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,962
You know what they say
the best medicine is.

345
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,363
Well, the doctor said
a combination

346
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,599
of Interferon and Dacarbazine.

347
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,635
And laughter also.

348
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,305
I don't really think people
are in the laughing mood.

349
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,273
Why are you here?

350
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,409
I didn't even invite you
to my birthday party.

351
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,577
I work here.

352
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:47,745
"I work here."
All right.

353
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,080
Well, you know what,

354
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,415
since Toby doesn't speak
for everybody

355
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,616
and I am your boss,

356
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,217
I think you should just go home.

357
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,352
Take the rest
of the afternoon off.

358
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,453
Take a sick day.

359
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,688
If I go home now,

360
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,790
I'll just drive myself crazy.

361
00:15:58,792 --> 00:15:59,791
Well, you're pretty much

362
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,359
driving everybody else
here crazy.

363
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,197
Crazy with worry.

364
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:33,324
Where have you been?

365
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,392
And don't say the bathroom,

366
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:35,793
'cause I kicked in
all the stalls.

367
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,095
Well, that's an invasion
of privacy.

368
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,230
So I'm going to tell Michael.

369
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,631
Please don't.

370
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,500
You owe me.

371
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,968
Excuse me, everyone.

372
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:47,205
Attention, please.

373
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,107
Kevin,

374
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,242
we're going to take you
to a very special place.

375
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,910
A place that will make you happy

376
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:56,948
and a place that is far,
far away from the evil sun.

377
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,649
Is this trip in any way related

378
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,718
to your birthday?

379
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,288
How dare you, sir?
You're gross.

380
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:07,025
That should not be there.

381
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,259
I'll get someone
to take it down.

382
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,360
No, it's all right.
It's already up.

383
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,495
Just leave it.

384
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:11,562
Where's Kevin?
Come on.

385
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,364
Let's get our skate on.

386
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,434
Don't be scared.
You're good.

387
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,836
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're good.

388
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:19,904
Oh, hi.

389
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,713
Think you can let go?
No.

390
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,049
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

391
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,383
Yeah!

392
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,918
Is that Michael?

393
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,554
Yeah, I've been pretty much
skating my whole life.

394
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,756
I thought about playing
in the NHL.

395
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,658
But you're on the road so much.

396
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,294
Get no time to spend
with your wife and kids.

397
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,496
And I really want
a wife and kids.

398
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,366
Aaaaah!

399
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,967
Ha ha ha ha.

400
00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:52,870
I got it.

401
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,674
Hey, Pam,
all the stuff with Kevin,

402
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,976
um, it's pretty scary.

403
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,746
And I'm thinking that next time
you're in the shower,

404
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,947
you should check yourself out.

405
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,282
You know, give yourself an exam.

406
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,784
Those things are like
ticking time bags.

407
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,320
All right?
Think about it.

408
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,425
Something to think about.

409
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,160
Just can't relax about it...
Kevin.

410
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,663
Have you heard anything yet?

411
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,131
No, not yet.

412
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,365
Okay, well, Livestrong.

413
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,700
Okay, Michael.

414
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,035
Michael?

415
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,703
Yeah. Carole?

416
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,672
She sold me my condo.

417
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:31,843
Hey, was this place
on the market or...

418
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,845
No, I don't just sell
real estate.

419
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,813
My daughter has
a skating lesson.

420
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,648
Oh, these all your kids?

421
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,485
No, just the front two.

422
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,954
Oh, hey, guys. What's up?
You want to go for a ride?

423
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,489
Is that okay?
Sure.

424
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,890
Cool. All right. Grab on.

425
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,792
Here we go. You ready?

426
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,162
Hang on tight.
All right.

427
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:54,966
We are moving.
We are really moving now.

428
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,038
Push. Good.
That's great. You got it.

429
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,308
'Scuse me.

430
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:10,014
Hello. Yeah, okay.

431
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,217
All right.

432
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,621
Okay, I will. Thanks.

433
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,524
It's negative.

434
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,760
God.

435
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,801
We're going to beat this, okay?

436
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:34,205
We're gonna...
Come here.

437
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,542
Well, apparently,
in the medicine community,

438
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,277
negative means good,

439
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,412
which makes absolutely no sense.

440
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:44,916
In the real world community,

441
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:48,853
that would be chaos.

442
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,889
This is awesome.

443
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,525
Thanks, you guys.

444
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,761
Okay, who's this from?

445
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:02,233
Wowie. Look at that jersey.

446
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,435
Turn it around.
Turn it around.

447
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,571
Cool. Oh.
Show it.

448
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,172
Great.
From Dwight.

449
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,041
Number one!
Thank you, Dwight.

450
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,342
That's great. Thanks.

451
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,311
Michael, this is from all of us.

452
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:16,080
Oh, you didn't need to do that.

453
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:22,386
Night Swept.
This is really amazing.

454
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,454
Thank you.

455
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,689
I love it.

456
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,859
Michael's birthday
was actually pretty cool.

457
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,528
It was a good day.

458
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:34,265
I don't know.
It was a good day.