1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,403 Tonight the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night. 2 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,305 And we are converting our warehouse 3 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:07,873 into a full-blown gambling hall. 4 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:11,043 And I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania. 5 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,611 But it's for charity. 6 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:15,581 And I consider myself a great philanderer. 7 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,850 It's just nice to know at the end of the day 8 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,351 I can look in the mirror and say, 9 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,453 "Michael, because of you, 10 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,455 "some little kid in the Congo 11 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,225 has a bellyful of rice this evening." 12 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:29,361 Just... makes you feel good. 13 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:33,632 Ahem. 14 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,271 Excuse me. 15 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,774 How long is the wait for a table for two? 16 00:00:41,776 --> 00:00:44,843 I would never, ever serve you. 17 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,546 Not in a million, billion years. 18 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,148 It's a nice tux. 19 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,550 I know. It belonged to my grandfather. 20 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,821 He was buried in it, so... family heirloom. 21 00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,092 So what's the deal? 22 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,093 We've gotta pay for our own drinks? 23 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,828 That's lame. Come on, it'll be fun. 24 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,596 And besides, I'm a roulette expert. 25 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,366 Impossible. Roulette is not a game of skill. 26 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,068 It is a game of chance. 27 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,270 I can always kind of win at roulette. 28 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,838 Oh, really? Mm-hmm? 29 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,339 How would you do that? 30 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,675 Mind control. 31 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,777 You can't be serious. 32 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:21,747 Are you serious? 33 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,816 Ever since I was little kid, 34 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:25,451 like eight or nine, 35 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,287 I could sort of control things with my mind. 36 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,889 I don't believe you. Continue. 37 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,357 It was just little things, you know. 38 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,559 Like I could make something shake. 39 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,260 Or I could make a marble fall off the counter. 40 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,663 You know, just little things. 41 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,332 Heh! That's ridiculous. 42 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,401 You know what? Uh... 43 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,304 Why don't you move that coat rack? 44 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,672 Excuse me, everyone! 45 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,440 Attention in the office, please. 46 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,710 Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers. 47 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,679 And he needs absolute silence. 48 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:54,847 Go ahead. 49 00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,483 Okay. I'll try. 50 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,812 Oh, my God. 51 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,687 I try not to think of it as lagging behind. 52 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,356 It's more of a David and Goliath thing. 53 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,025 Well, the fact of the matter is, 54 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,526 that your branch is currently number four 55 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,295 of the five branches that I oversee. 56 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,330 Top 80%. 57 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,831 Michael... Yep? 58 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,867 You know that I'm very serious here. 59 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,836 Jan, listen. I promise I will kick it up a notch. 60 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,004 Bam! 61 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,372 What? 62 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,409 Emeril. Oh, actually, while I have you... 63 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,578 Not that I have you or have ever had you. 64 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,880 But we're having our Casino Night tonight, 65 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,615 and I think everyone would love to see 66 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,916 their fearless leader here. 67 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,485 I thought that you were their fearless leader. 68 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:45,791 I am, but you are my Eva Perón to my César Chávez. 69 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,561 I, um, think you can handle it probably, Michael. 70 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,798 Oh, come on, come on! It'd be fun. 71 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,633 I can hear it in your voice. 72 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,767 You need a break. 73 00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:58,537 Goodbye, Michael. 74 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,873 Jan and I understand each other. 75 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,009 The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being. 76 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,044 But we've remained good friends. 77 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,080 Good friends with privileges. 78 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,049 Not now. Someday. 79 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,285 Okay, everybody. Tonight's event 80 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,420 is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America. 81 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,756 Again. We do that every year. 82 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,024 Well, they need our money. 83 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,559 They don't have cookies like the Girl Scouts. 84 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,527 It'd be nice to do something for people 85 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,862 who are actually suffering. 86 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,831 Well, Oscar, if you don't like it, 87 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,166 then you should concentrate on winning. 88 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:31,103 Because the person at the end of the evening 89 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,806 with the highest chip count will receive $500 90 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,075 to donate to the charity of their choice. 91 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,211 And they will get a mini fridge 92 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,812 compliments of Vance Refrigeration. 93 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,515 So, get your charities into Pam. 94 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,285 I, for example, am playing for Comic Relief. 95 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,719 That doesn't exist anymore. 96 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:51,823 Comedy's very much alive, as are homeless people. 97 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,092 No, they stopped making that show. 98 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:57,429 Well, then they need our money more than ever. 99 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,598 You have to pick an approved nonprofit organization. 100 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,933 There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. 101 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,236 Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. 102 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,104 I'll probably give the money to them. 103 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:09,141 Something with animals. 104 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,909 Or people. 105 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,379 Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. 106 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:17,649 And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. 107 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,384 I know he didn't do it. 108 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,055 Maybe he did it. 109 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,391 We are giving money that has been gambled. 110 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,894 Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves 111 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,829 and donate that money to charity? 112 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,799 Oh, and another fun thing. 113 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,100 We, at the end of the night, 114 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,768 are going to give the check 115 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,037 to an actual group of Boy Scouts. 116 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,772 Right, Toby? We're gonna... 117 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,973 Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate 118 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,643 to invite children since it's... 119 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,279 You know, there's gambling and alcohol. 120 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,780 And it's in our dangerous warehouse. 121 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,550 And it's a school night. 122 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,052 And, you know, Hooters is catering. 123 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:57,522 Is that enough? Should I keep going? 124 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,694 Why are you the way that you are? 125 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,564 Honestly, every time I try to do something fun 126 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:06,932 or exciting, 127 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:10,502 you make it not that way. 128 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:14,039 I hate so much 129 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,942 about the things that you choose to be. 130 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,878 Okay, you know what? 131 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,881 I will not donate my winnings 132 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,751 to Comic Relief since apparently it doesn't exist. 133 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:30,255 I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS. 134 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,023 I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan. 135 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,026 No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS. 136 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,995 Afghani. What? 137 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,164 Afghani. That's a dog. 138 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,298 No, that's Afghan. 139 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,800 That's a shawl. 140 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:42,934 Wait. Canine AIDS? 141 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,636 No, humans with AIDS. Who has AIDS? 142 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,572 Guys, the Afghanistananis. 143 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,674 You know what? No. No. 144 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:52,043 AIDS is not funny. 145 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,945 Believe me. I have tried. 146 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,082 There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians. 147 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,852 JFK. AIDS. The Holocaust. 148 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,655 The Lincoln assassination just recently became funny. 149 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,892 "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." 150 00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,796 And I hope to someday live in a world 151 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:14,132 where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. 152 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,967 It's one of my dreams. 153 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,602 What are you doing? 154 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,504 Oh, nothing. 155 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:23,308 "Till Death Do Us Rock." 156 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,876 They're wedding bands. Oh. 157 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,178 Roy was supposed to pick the band, 158 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:29,414 but he's concentrating more on the bachelor party now. 159 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,749 Wait, wait, where are you going? 160 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,184 I mean, even if you don't hire a band, 161 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,686 you still have to watch the bands. 162 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:38,323 Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. 163 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,192 I have great respect for that. 164 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,161 And yes, they're all probably very bad. 165 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,362 And that'll make me feel better 166 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,631 about not having dreams. 167 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,433 There's a KISS cover band in here. 168 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,001 Let's do it. 169 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,671 I'm pretty happy these days. 170 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,506 I'm getting married soon, 171 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,309 and I'm getting along with everybody at work. 172 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,847 Why did I talk to Jan about transferring? 173 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,915 Well, you know... 174 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,352 I have no future here. 175 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,823 I have already put down the deposit. 176 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,226 Do you understand how a deposit works? 177 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:17,429 Mike, I am not having fire eaters in a paper warehouse. 178 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:18,964 It's Casino Night. 179 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,099 Like Las Vegas. There are fire eaters all over the place. 180 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,501 Except my warehouse. 181 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:23,768 Actually, it's my warehouse. 182 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,137 Actually, it's owned by Beekman Properties, 183 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,040 and Dunder Mifflin is four years into a seven-year lease. 184 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,243 Why are you here? 185 00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:32,244 When Darryl was coming, 186 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,945 you said you wanted me here for protection. 187 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:38,717 N-N... I said not that. 188 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,819 We just have a lot of stuff down there 189 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,087 that could be stolen. 190 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,089 That's ironic. 191 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,323 What? 192 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,392 That you are afraid. 193 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,227 Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood? 194 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,496 Dinkin flicka. 195 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,866 Dinkin flicka. 196 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,136 I taught Mike some phrases 197 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,972 to help with his interracial conversations. 198 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,275 You know, stuff like "fleece it out," 199 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:06,111 "gormac five, "dinkin flicka." 200 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,548 You know, things us Negroes say. 201 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,283 Give me some. 202 00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,387 Oot! Oot! 203 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,256 Oh, yeah. I taught him a handshake, too. 204 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,781 Wow. I don't know how you're gonna decide. 205 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,749 They are all extremely good. 206 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,951 I think I should hire them all. 207 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,520 Do like Lollapalooza. Have three stages, yeah. 208 00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,522 Your mom would love that. 209 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,257 She would. 210 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,926 Now this band is called Scrantonicity. 211 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:58,363 Let's take a look. Nice. 212 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,765 Oh, wait. That's Kevin. 213 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,634 On the drums. What? 214 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,903 On the drums! Oh, my God! That's Kevin. 215 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,340 Great song, Kev. 216 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:12,377 Oh, my God. He's the drummer and the singer. 217 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,113 We really don't do a lot of weddings. 218 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,050 We actually don't play in public very often. 219 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:23,488 We're all really hoping that Pam's wedding works out. 220 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,791 This could be a turning point for the band. 221 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,226 Wow. Oh! 222 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:32,063 Yeah, you haven't seen that since 1983. 223 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,832 That is amazing. 224 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,601 Okay, we have to sign him. I'm gonna call the label... 225 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,770 No, no, no! Come back! 226 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,372 Hey, you're gonna lose him to another wedding. Kev! 227 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,307 Jim is great. 228 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,042 Being with him just takes away 229 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,277 all the stress of planning my wedding. 230 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,047 Yes? 231 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,682 Michael, Carol Stills for you. 232 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,652 Who? Carol Stills. 233 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,020 Do I know a Carol Stills? 234 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,154 Your realtor. 235 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,856 Oh, yeah, put her through. 236 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,759 Hey, Carol, how goes the real estate biz? 237 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,694 Is it real good? 238 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,795 Still me. 239 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,397 Sometimes I don't put Michael through 240 00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:07,298 until he's already said something. 241 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,168 I look at it as a practice run for him. 242 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,671 He usually does better on the second attempt. 243 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,606 Carol, you're on with Michael. 244 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,740 Hello, Michael. 245 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,642 Hi, Carol. how you doing? 246 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,911 I'm great. I just needed one last signature 247 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,146 for your mortgage insurance. 248 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,181 Oh, hey, no problemo. 249 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,616 Incidentally, I love the place. 250 00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:25,984 Oh, great. 251 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,252 Has a little bit of a weird smell. 252 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,454 It's okay. At Christmas, the tree helped. 253 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,256 Oh, good. I'm glad. 254 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,525 Um, can I drop it over later? 255 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,262 Actually, I'm sort of hosting this charity thing 256 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,030 in our warehouse. Casino Night. 257 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,532 Oh, great. 258 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,933 Yeah, it'll be good. 259 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,302 You know what? Why don't you come by? 260 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,937 Bring the papers. I'll sign 'em. 261 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,106 And then you can stay and have a drink. 262 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,441 To the casino thing? 263 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,476 Yeah, it'll be fun. What do you... 264 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,879 Oh, I'm sorry. Can you hold on? 265 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,382 Michael, Jan's on line two. 266 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,850 Okay. Put her through. 267 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:03,288 Jan Levinson, I presume? 268 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:07,692 It's still me. Jan, here's Michael. 269 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:08,793 Michael? 270 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,095 Hey, Jan. How you doing? 271 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,831 You know, I... I thought about it, 272 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,799 and you are right. 273 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,034 I am? 274 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,402 I could use a little fun. 275 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,438 So I am going to drive up for your Casino Night. 276 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,273 Uh... okay. 277 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,909 Incidentally, what is the charity? 278 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:25,977 AIDS. 279 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:30,081 Okay then. I will... I'll see you tonight. 280 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,117 Okay. Sounds great. 281 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,585 Bye-bye. Bye. 282 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,755 Uh, hello, Carol? 283 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,757 Sorry about that. 284 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,325 No problemo. 285 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,061 Right. Um... 286 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,563 To answer your question, yes. 287 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,133 What? I'd love to go. 288 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,768 Okay. I have to get a sitter, 289 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,102 but that shouldn't be a problem. 290 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,303 Problem. Good. 291 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,905 And I'll bring the papers too. 292 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,308 Good. All right. Sounds great. 293 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,010 Well, I'll see you tonight. Bye. 294 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,411 Bye. 295 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,751 Two queens on Casino Night. 296 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,356 I am going to drop a deuce on everybody. 297 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,598 Oh, my God! 298 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:25,670 Mwah! That's great! 299 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,540 Hey, Carol. You look great. 300 00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,475 Thanks. Thank you for inviting me. 301 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,743 It looks so great in here. 302 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,378 Well. 303 00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,750 That's how we do it in the paper biz. 304 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,085 It's European. 305 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:43,822 Michael. Yes? Ah, Dwight! 306 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,793 Codename Re/Max is here. 307 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,229 No sign of Ian Jevinson. 308 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,798 I'm Michael's wingman. I've got his back. 309 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,066 Two dates. 310 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,069 He's got two dates tonight. 311 00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,305 My job is keep Jan away from Carol. 312 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,940 And vice versa. 313 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:06,377 Michael said, "We must deceive them so as not to hurt them, 314 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:09,714 and in that way, we honor them." 315 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,750 Can I get you a drink? 316 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,220 The food is from Hooters. 317 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,388 A drink would be good. Okay. 318 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,527 Oh, I steal things all the time. 319 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,495 It's just something I do. 320 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,598 I stopped caring a long time ago. 321 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,268 You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. 322 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:33,338 Honestly, I love stealing things. 323 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,306 I'm gonna get a drink. Do you need anything? 324 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,008 No, I'm fine. Thanks, sweetheart. 325 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,815 Billy, your nurse is hot. 326 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,717 That's my girlfriend. 327 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,786 Your nurse became your girlfriend. Sweet. 328 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,355 She was never my nurse. I met her at Chili's. 329 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,589 She was my waitress. 330 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,727 Chili's is great. 331 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,669 Willkommen. Bienvenue. 332 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:08,039 And welcome to Monte Carlo. 333 00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,242 Dwight. 334 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,078 I am no longer your boss. 335 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,314 Lady Fortune is your boss. 336 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,516 Will Lady Fortune give me a raise? 337 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,351 Shut it, shut it. 338 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,452 Will Lady Fortune be your mistress? 339 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:26,257 Only time will tell, my friends. 340 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,794 Leave all your preconceived notions about casinos 341 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,362 at the door. 342 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:35,767 Old friends. New lovers. 343 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:40,171 And the disabled. Welcome all! 344 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,472 Great. Okay. 345 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,007 Shuffle up and deal. 346 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,909 Let's get it started. 347 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,178 Black-eyed crows. 348 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,414 Okay, the game is no-limit Texas Hold 'Em. 349 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,382 Good luck, everybody. 350 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,755 That's at least four red chips to you, sir. 351 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,761 All in. 352 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,196 Oh! 353 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,464 Bluffing is a key part of poker, 354 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,032 which is too bad, 355 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:11,903 because I am not very good at bluffing. 356 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,838 Did you believe me? 357 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,607 I'll call. 358 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:20,311 What are... That's insane. 359 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,447 I have good cards. 360 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,816 Well, Toby, I went all in on the first hand, 361 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,585 so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards too? 362 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,687 So don't be stupid. Just take it back. 363 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,022 I'm sorry. He can't, sir. He's gone all in. 364 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,023 Okay, all right, whatever. 365 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,125 Flip 'em. 366 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,932 You really screwed that up. 367 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,101 Way to go, Toby. 368 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:43,101 Wow. 369 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,371 I don't really play cards, but I'm not gonna lie to you. 370 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,873 It felt really good to take money from Michael. 371 00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,311 Gonna chase that feeling. 372 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,812 That's the normal question. 373 00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:57,949 I expect to do very well tonight. 374 00:16:57,951 --> 00:17:00,718 I have an acute ability to read people. 375 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,554 Jim for instance has a huge tell. 376 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,924 When he gets a good hand, he coughs. 377 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,728 Uh, I will raise. 378 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,871 Thanks. 379 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:24,275 It's the weirdest thing. Every time I cough, he folds. 380 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,309 Wow. Bad luck. 381 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,978 Ah, yeah, whatever. 382 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,580 Hey, you know what? If luck weren't involved, 383 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,650 I would always be winning. 384 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,386 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 385 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,788 Michael. 386 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:38,790 Jan. Hi. 387 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,592 Look, okay. I think we're all adults here. 388 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,661 And it has always been my understanding 389 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,897 that we have an open relationship. 390 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,932 What are... Wait. What are you talking about? 391 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,834 What does that mean? 392 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,470 After you said you weren't coming, 393 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,138 I invited Carol to come. 394 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,541 And I don't think that I did anything wrong. 395 00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:00,545 No. No, you didn't. 396 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,612 Hi, I'm Jan. I'm Michael's boss. 397 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,747 Hi. 398 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,849 Does anyone want a drink? 399 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,150 No, I'm good. 400 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,718 Okay. 401 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:14,225 Heh. Um... 402 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,494 Hey, hey. Hey... what? 403 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,796 Jan's here. 404 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,201 Give me the dice. 405 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:26,237 Come on, Dwight. It's on you, baby. 406 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,439 Good evening, Dwight. What is this? 407 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,842 Evening, Angela. This is craps. 408 00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:33,678 I need to roll an eight. If I do, everyone wins. 409 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,546 Then roll an eight. 410 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,914 Thank you, Angela. 411 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,884 Good luck, Dwight. 412 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:44,355 Yeah! Yeah! Mwah! 413 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,157 That's good stuff. 414 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:49,160 Dwight, let's keep it going. Let's keep it going. 415 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,361 Let it ride. Let it all ride. 416 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,063 Give me the dice! 417 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:01,405 Yeah, right. 418 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,440 "Yeah, right," what? 419 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:03,908 What was this? 420 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,544 I have good cards. 421 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,246 Really? Mm-hmm. 422 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,415 And I'm gonna take you all in. Wow. 423 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,552 I think you're bluffing. 424 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,265 Yeah, I think she's full of it. 425 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,504 Straight. Oh. 426 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,306 Three nines. 427 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,875 Jim Halpert, ladies and gentlemen. 428 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,244 Thank you very much. It was fun. 429 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,714 Cosmopolitan, please. 430 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,184 Can I get a red wine? 431 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,821 So, uh, so two hours. That's a long drive. 432 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,356 Well, it's part of the job. 433 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,325 You know, keep an eye on things. 434 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:57,828 So... why not? 435 00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,204 So how long have you and Michael been, um... 436 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,340 Oh, uh, well, actually, 437 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:13,344 I guess this would be our first date, I guess. 438 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,213 Casino Night in the warehouse. 439 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,614 Good sport. 440 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,182 Well, I'm having a nice time. 441 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:21,285 Oh, me too. Me too. 442 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,262 One beer, and one 7 and 7 443 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,830 with eight Maraschino cherries, 444 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,899 sugar on the rim, blended if you can. 445 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,568 So that's still going on, huh? 446 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,003 You and Kelly? 447 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:42,506 All right! 448 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,275 Point is four. Shooter roll a four. 449 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:47,378 Come on, shooter! 450 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,913 Blow! Blow for luck. 451 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,815 Yeah! 452 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,818 Also you. Not playing favorites. 453 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,255 All right, here we go. Yeah! 454 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,757 Five. Aw, so close, so close. 455 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,425 Come on. 456 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,261 So, where are you staying, Radisson? 457 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:06,364 What? Super 8? Motel 6? Best Western. 458 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,066 I didn't... Holiday Inn? 459 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,301 The Hyatt in Wilkes-Barre? 460 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,702 Are you staying with Michael? 461 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,704 All right! 462 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:21,112 I won the 2002 $2,500 463 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,381 No-Limit Deuce to Seven Draw Tournament 464 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:26,083 at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. 465 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:29,754 So, yeah, I'm pretty good at poker. 466 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:33,991 All in. 467 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,693 Okay, let's do it. 468 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,028 Good luck, honey. 469 00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:38,562 Oh, thank you, Bobby, but it doesn't matter. 470 00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:39,797 It's just fun to play. 471 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,599 Three queens. 472 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:42,867 Nice, very nice. 473 00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:43,868 I have an Ace. 474 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:46,871 No, that's a flush. Oh, man! 475 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:48,239 I have a flush! Yes! 476 00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:50,941 Look, I won. Look, I have all the clovers. 477 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,410 You want to play again? 478 00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,011 I suck. 479 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:58,349 She took you down, huh? 480 00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:01,419 I do not want to talk about it. 481 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,854 Hey, I saw your tape. 482 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:07,024 Your band, Scrantonicity. You guys rock. 483 00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,259 Yeah? 484 00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:11,095 Yeah, you guys want to play our wedding? 485 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,730 Awesome. 486 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,165 Did Pam say it was okay? 487 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:17,168 Whatever. I'm in charge of the music. 488 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,137 Dude, you will not be sorry. 489 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,572 Sweet. 490 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,474 All right. All right. 491 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:34,151 Smoke? 492 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,419 No, thanks. 493 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,090 You having fun? 494 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,992 Fabulous time. 495 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,298 I drove two and a half hours to get here. 496 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:52,169 Yeah, we all really... Left work early, drove down here. 497 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:55,606 And I am completely underdressed. 498 00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,808 I think you look great. 499 00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:02,513 Why did I hook up with Michael? 500 00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,217 Yeah, why did you? 501 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:12,123 It was very late, Jim. Very late and, uh... 502 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:15,626 Have you given any more thought to the transfer? 503 00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:17,895 Oh, yeah. 504 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,764 Good. Mm-hmm. 505 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:23,267 Have you told anyone? 506 00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:26,670 No. Well, you should. 507 00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:36,213 Uh, excuse me. 508 00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:37,415 Uh, big moment. 509 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:40,418 The evening's chip leader 510 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:43,988 and winner of this beautiful mini refrigerator 511 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:48,058 courtesy of Vance Refrigeration, 512 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,561 Creed Bradden, Dunder-Mifflin. 513 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,368 Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator. 514 00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:04,508 Sorry, babe. I'm just beat. 515 00:24:04,510 --> 00:24:07,178 It's okay. I'll see you at home. Okay. 516 00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,146 Hey, don't try to lose too much money, all right? 517 00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:10,681 Okay. In case you still want a honeymoon. 518 00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,886 Hey, Halpert. Keep an eye on her, all right? 519 00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:18,088 Okay. Will do. 520 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,224 Bye. 521 00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:22,827 Hey. 522 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,295 Hey, how's it going? Good. 523 00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:28,799 Especially after I took all your money in poker. Ha-ha, yeah. 524 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:33,671 Hey, can I talk to you about something? 525 00:24:33,673 --> 00:24:35,272 About when you wanna give me more of your money? 526 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:36,674 No. Did you wanna do that now? 527 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,143 We can go inside. I'm feeling kinda good tonight. 528 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,745 I was just, um... 529 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,551 I'm in love with you. 530 00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:48,786 What? 531 00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,190 I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, 532 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:56,026 but I needed you to... hear it. 533 00:24:58,196 --> 00:25:00,898 Probably not good timing. I know that, I just... 534 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,566 What are you doing? 535 00:25:05,937 --> 00:25:08,272 What do you expect me to say to that? 536 00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:13,344 I just needed you to know. 537 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:14,845 Once. 538 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,250 Well, I, um... 539 00:25:20,118 --> 00:25:22,052 I... 540 00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:25,990 I can't. 541 00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:27,391 Yeah. 542 00:25:29,094 --> 00:25:31,495 You have no idea... Don't do that. 543 00:25:31,497 --> 00:25:34,231 ...what your friendship means to me. 544 00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:37,368 Come on. I don't wanna do that. 545 00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,303 I wanna be more than that. 546 00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,139 I can't. 547 00:25:44,476 --> 00:25:50,214 I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things. 548 00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:54,685 It's probably my fault. 549 00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:57,788 Not your fault. 550 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,426 I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship. 551 00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:12,403 Hey! 552 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:14,538 I'm leaving. Hey! Okay. 553 00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:15,539 So I just wanted to congratulate you 554 00:26:15,541 --> 00:26:16,574 on a fantastic evening. 555 00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:17,775 Did the company proud. Thank you. 556 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,343 And, uh, thanks for inviting me. 557 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:21,078 You were right. I needed it, so thanks. 558 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,646 Okay. Thanks for coming. Nice to meet you. 559 00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:25,449 And you guys have a good time together. Okay. 560 00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:26,617 Talk to you Monday. Yep. 561 00:26:26,619 --> 00:26:28,719 Bye-bye. Good night. 562 00:26:30,522 --> 00:26:31,689 She's a good boss. 563 00:26:31,691 --> 00:26:32,923 She seems really nice. 564 00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,525 Oh, she's great. 565 00:26:34,527 --> 00:26:36,594 Love triangle drama. 566 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:38,929 All worked out in the end though. 567 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:42,032 The hero got the girl. Who saw that coming? 568 00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:43,300 I did. 569 00:26:43,302 --> 00:26:44,935 And Jan is really happy for me. 570 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:46,937 So actually, the hero got two girls. 571 00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:48,772 He got the girl that he works with, 572 00:26:48,774 --> 00:26:51,942 and he got the girl that he buys real estate from. 573 00:26:53,178 --> 00:26:57,948 So I've got my New York girl and my local flavor. 574 00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:00,351 Life is good. 575 00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:04,021 About ten minutes ago. 576 00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:08,025 No, I didn't know what to say. 577 00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:10,427 Yes, I know. 578 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:13,597 Um, I don't know, Mom. 579 00:27:13,599 --> 00:27:15,466 He's my best friend. 580 00:27:17,902 --> 00:27:19,903 Yeah, he's great. 581 00:27:22,173 --> 00:27:24,208 Yeah, I think I am. 582 00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:28,078 Um, I have to go. I will. 583 00:27:30,181 --> 00:27:32,349 Listen, Jim.