1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,102 Hey, Ryan. 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,104 Can I get you a pencil from the warehouse? 3 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,939 Uh, no thanks. I'm good. 4 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,974 Oh, it's okay. I'm going down. 5 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,342 Um... 6 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,577 Oh. 7 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:12,878 Yeah. 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,946 Absolutely. 9 00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,514 All right, I'll be right back. 10 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,558 - Whoo! - There you go. 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,559 Awesome! 12 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,694 - Thank you. - You're welcome! 13 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,062 Michael, could you get me a pen 14 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,130 from down in the warehouse? 15 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,765 Don't mind if I do. 16 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,534 See you in a minute. 17 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,869 Okay! 18 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,679 Whoo! 19 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:48,881 There you go, fresh from the warehouse. 20 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,115 Hey, Michael. 21 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,284 Would you get me some coffee from the warehouse? 22 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,919 There's coffee in the kitchen, Pam. 23 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,455 But the warehouse coffee tastes so much better. 24 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,456 Yeah, it's better. 25 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,725 All right. All right. 26 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,693 Okay. 27 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:15,040 I am like Bette Midler in For the Boys. 28 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,842 Gotta keep the troops entertained. 29 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,819 With cream and sugar? 30 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:29,855 All right. 31 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,256 So I wanted to let you know 32 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,191 that we lost Ed Truck. 33 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,693 Oh... kay. 34 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,428 Let me see if I have his cell. 35 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,797 Is this the only reason you are calling, Jan? 36 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,265 Or does somebody miss me? 37 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:17,903 Michael... Ed died over the weekend. 38 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,071 Oh, wow. 39 00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,506 Attention, everybody. 40 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,641 I just received a call from corporate 41 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,511 with some news that they felt that I should know first. 42 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:26,945 My old boss, 43 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,214 Ed Truck, has died. 44 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,951 Oh, Michael, that's such terrible news. 45 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,554 You must feel so sad. 46 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,723 Yes, I am. 47 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,825 It's very sad. 48 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,594 Because he was my boss. 49 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,796 Oh, that's a shame. Ed was a good guy. 50 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,765 That's right. You worked with him. 51 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,368 So did Creed. 52 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,369 Well, I'll be in my office. 53 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,971 In case anybody wants to drop by. 54 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,907 Cheer me up. 55 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,752 So did you hear the news? 56 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,520 The news that you just announced? 57 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,588 That Ed died? 58 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,956 Yeah. 59 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,224 Is there anything I can do? 60 00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:14,660 Oh, gosh, what can anybody do, really? 61 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:15,994 Just... psh. 62 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,630 He was almost 70. Circle of life. 63 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,666 Yeah. 64 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:27,139 Oh. Okay. 65 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:30,876 Yeah. 66 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,246 Mmmmm. 67 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,448 Okay. 68 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,450 What's going on with Fairfield County Schools? 69 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,252 Karen, did you generate that price list? 70 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,522 Um... shoot. Uh, I will. Sorry. 71 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,924 Okay, just get it done. 72 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:46,959 Jim, will you make sure? 73 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,194 Oh, yeah, definitely. 74 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,663 Suck up! 75 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,731 Ahem! 76 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,032 Josh, did you hear what I said? 77 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,867 Thank you, everyone. 78 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,307 Damn it. 79 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,476 What's up? 80 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,411 Oh, nothing. 81 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,247 They're just out of Herr's Chips. 82 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,248 Oh. 83 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,249 But don't worry about it. 84 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,750 My snack food doesn't fall 85 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,685 under the umbrella of your authority. 86 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,722 Mm, that's where you're wrong. 87 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,825 I'm your project supervisor today. 88 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,260 And I've just decided 89 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,694 that we're not doing anything 90 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,464 until you get the chips that you require. 91 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,133 So I think we should go get some. 92 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,968 Now, please. 93 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,071 It's a real shame about Ed, huh? 94 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,641 Yeah. Must really have you thinkin'. 95 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,042 About what? 96 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,210 The older you get, 97 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:40,078 the bigger the chance is you're gonna die. 98 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,213 You knew that. 99 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:42,648 Ed was decapitated. 100 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,783 What? Really? 101 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,084 He was drunk as a skunk. 102 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,786 He was flying down Route 6. 103 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,821 He slides under an 18-wheeler. 104 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,223 Pop, it snaps right off. 105 00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,158 Oh, my God. 106 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,027 That is the way to go. 107 00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:58,163 Instant death. Very smart. 108 00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,898 You know, a human can go on living for several hours 109 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,566 after being decapitated. 110 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,535 You're thinking of a chicken. 111 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,103 What'd I say? 112 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,105 That is just not the way 113 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,707 a Dunder Mifflin manager should go. 114 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:09,875 I'm sorry. 115 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,311 Alone, out of the blue. 116 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,713 Not even have his own head to comfort him. 117 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,449 So I'm not exactly... 118 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,017 sure how to say this. 119 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,986 - Ed was decapitated. - What are you doing? 120 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,821 You said you didn't know how to say it. 121 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,589 He... 122 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,058 was driving 123 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,693 on the road. 124 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,695 And he went under a truck. 125 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,363 And that's when his 126 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,632 h-h-head was... 127 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,535 separated from... 128 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,903 the rest of him. 129 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,571 And I will let you know more 130 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,007 as soon as I find out. 131 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:46,945 Hey. Hi. 132 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,680 If my head ever comes off, 133 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,415 I would like you to put it on ice. 134 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,651 I do not want to talk about this. 135 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:55,053 When I die, 136 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,588 I want to be frozen. 137 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,623 And if they have to freeze me in pieces, 138 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,192 so be it. 139 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,361 I will wake up stronger than ever, 140 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,962 because I will have used that time 141 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,698 to figure out exactly why I died, 142 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,899 and what moves I could have used 143 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,067 to defend myself better 144 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,370 now that I know what hold he had me in. 145 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,805 I don't understand. 146 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,141 We have a day honoring Martin Luther King. 147 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,777 But he didn't even work here. 148 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,445 I understand how you feel, Michael. 149 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,847 I really do. 150 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:25,117 So would it be helpful to give everyone the day off? 151 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:26,852 You really don't get it, do you? 152 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,053 You don't understand these people. 153 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,055 That is the last thing that they would want 154 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,189 is a day off. 155 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,692 Well, what would you suggest? 156 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,327 A statue. 157 00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:36,828 - Of Ed? - Yeah. 158 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,464 I'm not sure that's realistic. 159 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,466 Well, I think it would be very realistic. 160 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,934 It would look just like him. 161 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:43,969 No, that's not... 162 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,303 We could have his eyes light up. 163 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,638 You could have his arms move. 164 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,740 That is not a statue. That is a robot. 165 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,475 I think that is a great way to honor Ed. 166 00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,210 And how big do you want this robot? 167 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,211 Life-size. 168 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,647 Mm, no. Better make it 2/3. 169 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,149 Easier to stop if it turns on us. 170 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,518 What the hell are you two talking about? 171 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,421 Well, we are talking about how to properly honor 172 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,022 a man who gave his life 173 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,725 as regional manger of this company, Jan! 174 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,993 You know what, Michael? 175 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,127 I've really tried with you today. 176 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,695 And I have to get back to work. 177 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,863 Oh, do you? 178 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,465 You know who wished they could get back to work 179 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,599 is Ed Truck! 180 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,568 But Ed Truck can't because he is... 181 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,736 - Good-bye. - dead! 182 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,241 Look... I gave him a six-foot extension cord, 183 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,743 so he can't chase us. 184 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,244 That's perfect. 185 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,881 Okay, that is a no on the West Side Market. 186 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,983 Okay, great. I think that's enough. 187 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,085 Can I... get back to work now? 188 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,456 Wow. Never pegged you for a quitter. 189 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,990 I am not a quitter. 190 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,725 I will do this all day, if you want. 191 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,160 - Really? - Yeah, all day. 192 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,795 Hey. What are we doing? 193 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,130 What's the game? I want in. 194 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,431 Oh, there's no game. 195 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,966 We're just trying to get these chips for Karen. 196 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,268 Did you check the vending machine? 197 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,538 Oh, the vending machines? How did we miss that? 198 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,207 I have no idea. 199 00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,575 We went right for the copier. 200 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,276 Mm-hmm. And then we checked the fax machine. 201 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,344 Yeah, nothing there. 202 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:02,280 Did you check your butt? 203 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,651 Ooh, can you imagine how much blood there was? 204 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,653 If it happened right here, 205 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,655 it would reach all the way to reception. 206 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,790 Probably get on Pam. 207 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,892 - Okay, that's enough. - What? 208 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,160 We do not want to hear about this. 209 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,495 Well, you know what? 210 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,863 I didn't wanna hear about it either, Stanley. 211 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,598 But I did, and now I can't stop picturing it. 212 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,566 He leaves work. He's on his way home. 213 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,903 Wham! His cappa is detated from his head. 214 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,472 You have just spit on my face. 215 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:28,507 Well, you know what? 216 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,674 There's something wrong with you. 217 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,576 There is something wrong with everybody in here. 218 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,745 Because we have lost 219 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,580 a member of our family. 220 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,048 And you don't wanna talk about it. 221 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,183 You don't wanna think about it. 222 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,418 You just wanna get back to work. 223 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,754 There are five stages to grief. 224 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,623 Which are denial, 225 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,159 anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 226 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,762 And right now, out there, 227 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,597 they are all denying 228 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,399 the fact that they're sad. 229 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,768 And... that's hard. 230 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,204 And it's making them all angry. 231 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,440 And it is my job to try to get them 232 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,010 all the way through to acceptance. 233 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,912 And if not acceptance, then just depression. 234 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:10,382 If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job. 235 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,751 I'm going to throw you this ball. 236 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,953 When you catch the ball, I want you to say 237 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,923 the name of a person very important to you, 238 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,458 somebody really special, who died. 239 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,061 And then I want you to say how they died. 240 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,729 And you may cry, if you like. 241 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,131 That is encouraged. 242 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,966 Let me just start. Let me show you how this works. 243 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,135 I catch the ball. 244 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,070 I lost Ed Truck. 245 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,440 And... it feels like somebody took my heart 246 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:40,145 and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. 247 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,781 And, at the same time, 248 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:46,718 somebody else is hitting my soul 249 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,420 in the crotch 250 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,423 with a frozen sledgehammer. 251 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,358 And then a third guy walks in 252 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,160 and starts punching me in the grief bone. 253 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,562 And I am crying. 254 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,064 And nobody can hear me, 255 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:03,134 because I am terribly, terribly... 256 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,769 terribly alone. 257 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,838 Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. 258 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,139 I need to see Pam. 259 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,141 There seems to be, like, something wrong 260 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,610 with the radiator in her car. 261 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:12,611 Okay. 262 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,679 Fine. Hurry back. 263 00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,983 There's nothing wrong with your car. 264 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,284 I just thought you might want a break 265 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,886 from the grief counseling session. 266 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,623 Oh... I would like a break. 267 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,758 How are you liking the new car? 268 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,461 Great. Yeah? 269 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,262 It sure is small. 270 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,932 Got air bags? 271 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,333 I think so. 272 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,802 I don't know, I was mainly focused on the cup holders. 273 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:43,141 Well, you're still not driving so fast, are you? 274 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,676 Yeah. 275 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:51,016 Hi, yeah, this is Mike from the West Side Market. 276 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,717 Well, we added a shipment 277 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,853 of Herr's salt and vinegar chips. 278 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:58,023 And we ordered that about three weeks ago, and have... 279 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,724 Yeah. 280 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:00,992 You have 'em in the warehouse? 281 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,293 Great. 282 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,330 What is my store number? 283 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,299 Six. 284 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,503 Wa... no. I'll call you back. 285 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,338 Shut up. Six? 286 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,976 Okay, we can start. 287 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,411 You waited for me? 288 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:20,578 Yeah. 289 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,013 Pam, you're a member of this family. 290 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,081 So we will wait 291 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,816 for our family members. 292 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,184 Phyllis, you wanna give it a shot? 293 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,053 I got it. 294 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,754 When my mother was pregnant with me, 295 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,624 they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. 296 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,626 When they did another ultrasound 297 00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:35,627 a few weeks later, 298 00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,729 they discovered that 299 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:42,133 I had re-sorbed the other fetus. 300 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,436 Do I regret this? No. 301 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:46,871 I believe his tissue has made me stronger. 302 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,074 I now have the strength of a grown man 303 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,176 and a little baby. 304 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,678 Okay, why don't you throw the ball to somebody else? 305 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,813 Nope. 306 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,915 Oh, yes, Stanley, Come on, your turn. 307 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,349 - You have to go. - I will not! 308 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,418 Okay... 309 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,686 I'm going to 310 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,021 toss the ball 311 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,123 to Pam. 312 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,491 Let's see. 313 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,159 I had an aunt 314 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,661 that I was really close to. 315 00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:12,731 She was this amazing female boxer. 316 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,934 Um, anyway, she was injured in a fight, 317 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,836 and she was paralyzed. 318 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:22,140 So you can imagine how upset I was... 319 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,408 when I found out 320 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,310 that she asked her manager 321 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,345 to remove her breathing tube 322 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,515 so she could die. 323 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,084 Wow. 324 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,520 If you want to cry, that's okay. 325 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,693 Thanks. Um... 326 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,261 A few years ago, 327 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,830 my family was on a safari in Africa. 328 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:49,634 And, um, my cousin... Mufasa... 329 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:53,438 was, um, he was trampled to death 330 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,306 by a pack of wildebeests. 331 00:12:55,308 --> 00:13:00,512 And, um, we all... took it really hard. 332 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:03,681 All of us kind of in the audience... 333 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,049 of what happened. 334 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,218 Do you wanna talk about it anymore? 335 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,454 Oh, it would probably take me, like, 336 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,689 an hour and a half to tell that whole story. 337 00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:12,757 Me me, me me me. 338 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,726 Yes. Okay. 339 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:18,730 Um... I was trying to throw this party once. 340 00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:22,400 And everyone was over for the weekend. 341 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:26,204 And then my Uncle Bernie died. 342 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,073 And so me and 343 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,308 my best friend, 344 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,178 we had to pretend like he was alive. 345 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,846 So... 346 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,614 Wait a second. 347 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,350 That's Weekend at Bernie's. 348 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,720 Do you think that this is a game? 349 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,088 Well, there is a ball. 350 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,123 All right, we're starting over. 351 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,424 No, I'm done. 352 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,359 You are not leaving! No, we are not done. 353 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,928 We really have a lot of work to do. 354 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:50,995 Yeah, well, you know what? 355 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,265 The guy who had my job has died. 356 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,434 And nobody cares. 357 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,570 And he sat at my desk. 358 00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,171 Michael... 359 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,941 Look, I know this is hard for you. 360 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,843 But death's just a part of life. 361 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,544 I mean, just this morning, I saw a little bird 362 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,681 fly into the glass doors downstairs and die. 363 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,583 And I had to keep going. 364 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,051 How do you know? What? 365 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,886 That that bird was dead? 366 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,888 Did you check... its breathing? 367 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,956 It was obvious. 368 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,691 Was its heart beating, Toby? 369 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,926 Did you check it? No, of course you didn't. 370 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,261 You're not a veterinarian. 371 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,163 You don't know anything! 372 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,564 Michael! 373 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:30,435 Michael! 374 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,937 Michael! 375 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,038 Michael... 376 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,106 Oh, God. 377 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,641 Ohh! Oh, my God! 378 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,776 Oh, my God! Come on. 379 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:39,811 Poor little fella. 380 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,179 - Oh, shoot. - He's a goner. 381 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,814 - No, he's not. - Yeah. 382 00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:43,882 No, he's not. 383 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,283 Michael, get him away from your head! 384 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,551 He is covered in germs and bacteria! 385 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,120 You can't get diseases from a bird! 386 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,723 A dead bird should not be in the kitchen. 387 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,757 We don't know if it's dead. 388 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,526 Uh, no, that thing is dead. 389 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,828 You want me to flush him? 390 00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,698 Attention, everybody. 391 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,567 This will only take a second... 392 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,069 of your time. 393 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,671 Today at 4:00 p.m., 394 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,207 we will be meeting in the parking lot 395 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:13,611 to have a funeral service for this bird. 396 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:14,779 I have a lot of work to do. 397 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,582 Well... I'm sorry to inconvenience you, 398 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,883 Meredith. 399 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,619 But that is what you do when things die. 400 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,954 You honor them. 401 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,689 Toby killed this bird. 402 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,291 And now we are going to honor it. 403 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,759 - But... - No! No! No! 404 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:28,893 That's enough. You know what? 405 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,329 This bird is dead. 406 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,397 It died alone. 407 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,898 The least you can do 408 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,201 is be there for him now. 409 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,039 Find a box for him. 410 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,608 I'm calling a supermarket in Montreal. 411 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,842 Nice. 412 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,878 Bonjour, je cherche 413 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,080 de chips de la marque Herr's. 414 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,682 Non? 415 00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:53,584 Oh, merci comme même. 416 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,953 Au revoir. 417 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,020 Nope. 418 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,956 - Sounded good. - Thanks. 419 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,433 It's okay. 420 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,834 It's okay. 421 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,736 Shh. Yes, I know. 422 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,571 I know it's been a tough day. 423 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,506 But it's good to let it show. 424 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,810 I mean, how many times do I have to confirm plans 425 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,713 with Ryan for him to know that we have a date tonight? 426 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:28,086 God. 427 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,587 What are... 428 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,888 What are you doing?! 429 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,223 What? 430 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,524 No, this is about the right size. 431 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,893 No, God, no! It's not! 432 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,462 What is the matter with you? 433 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,963 Is that the beak? 434 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,967 I'm sorry, I grew up on a farm. 435 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,803 We slaughtered a pig whenever we wanted bacon. 436 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,940 My grandfather was re-buried in an old oil drum. 437 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,945 It would've fit if he had given me another minute. 438 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,813 I need a box. 439 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,216 I need a box, a small box. 440 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,518 Not too confining. 441 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,853 - Is it for the bird? - Yeah. 442 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:02,987 I have it covered. 443 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,189 Oh, thank you. 444 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,326 If you want to do something for the funeral... 445 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,727 Yes, please. 446 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,329 Maybe you could play a song on your recorder. Excellent. 447 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,231 Do you have it with you? Always. 448 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,002 Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be 449 00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,737 throwing together a bird funeral? 450 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,673 You never can tell what your day here 451 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,242 is gonna turn into. 452 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,481 Where'd you find them? 453 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,316 Where'd I find what? 454 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:41,993 I called the manufacturer, 455 00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:44,028 who referred me to the distributor, 456 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,130 who referred me to the vending machine company, 457 00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:48,599 who told me that they sell them in the machines 458 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,334 in the building next door. 459 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,270 Glad you could all make it. 460 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,771 You told us we had to. 461 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,540 Dwight, do you have the box? 462 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,275 Actually, I have it. 463 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,213 You made this? 464 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,881 Wow. 465 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,218 That's... that's very nice. 466 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,220 When I was five, my mom told me 467 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,155 that my fish went to the hospital 468 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,623 in the toilet. 469 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,525 And it never came back. 470 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,427 So we had a funeral for it. 471 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,795 And I remember thinking, 472 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,831 "I'm a little too old for this." 473 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:22,867 And I was five. 474 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,202 I'd also like to say a few words, 475 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,470 if that's okay. 476 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,372 Yes. 477 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:31,409 What do we know about this bird? 478 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:34,779 You might think, "Not much, it's just a bird." 479 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,881 But we do know some things. 480 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,951 We know it was a local bird. 481 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:43,521 Maybe it's that same bird that surprised Oscar 482 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,390 that one morning with a special present from above. 483 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,526 Oh, I remember that. That was so funny. 484 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,294 And we know how he died. 485 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,231 Flying into the glass doors. 486 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,465 But you know what, 487 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,501 I don't think he was being stupid. 488 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,970 I think he just... 489 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,839 really, really wanted to come inside our building 490 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,509 to spread his cheer 491 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,844 and lift our spirits with a song. 492 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,579 - It's not a songbird. - Shh. 493 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,148 An impression, then. 494 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,184 Lastly, we can't help but notice 495 00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:15,319 that he was by himself when he died. 496 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,188 But of course, we all know 497 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,790 that doesn't mean he was alone. 498 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,092 Because I'm sure 499 00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,793 that there were lots of other birds 500 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,195 out there who cared for him 501 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,430 very much. 502 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,866 He will not be forgotten. Amen. 503 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,850 Society teaches us 504 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:50,121 that having feelings and crying 505 00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,757 is bad and wrong. 506 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,393 Well, that's baloney, 507 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:59,630 because grief isn't wrong. 508 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,099 There is such a thing as good grief. 509 00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:04,535 Just ask Charlie Brown. 510 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,377 Let's get back to work. 511 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:28,960 Guys, get a broom. 512 00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:30,494 Let's clean this up. 513 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:32,096 Grab a broom. 514 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,165 You heard me. Mush.