1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,535 Good morning, Pam. 2 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,471 Oh, welcome back, Andy. 3 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,940 Drew. I'm Drew now. 4 00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,475 Oh... Drew. 5 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,809 Sorry. 6 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:14,146 Apology not accepted. 7 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,115 Because it wasn't even necessary 8 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,883 in the first place. 9 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,685 Several weeks ago, 10 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,354 Andy Bernard had an incident. 11 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,389 Gaaah! 12 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,723 Ohh! 13 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,793 But after five weeks in anger management, 14 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:28,794 I'm back. 15 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,662 And I've got a new attitude. 16 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,564 And a new name. 17 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,334 And... a bunch of new techniques 18 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,036 for dealing with the grumpies. 19 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,737 Morning, Jim. 20 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,472 Hey, Andy. How are you, man? 21 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,541 Good. Drew. 22 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,609 What's that? 23 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,177 You can call me Drew. 24 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,912 No, I'm not gonna call you that. 25 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,048 Cool. 26 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,382 I can't control what you do. 27 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,818 I can only control what I do. 28 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:53,852 Andy. 29 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,721 Drew. 30 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,223 Dwight. 31 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,693 How's it going, man? 32 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:05,497 Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard 33 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,899 for the next three years. 34 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,934 Which I'm looking forward to. 35 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,903 It's an Amish technique. 36 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,938 It's like slapping someone with silence. 37 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,506 I was shunned from the age of four 38 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,808 until my sixth birthday 39 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:18,844 for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna. 40 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,947 Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard 41 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,483 that he is being shunned. 42 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,251 Andy, Dwight says welcome back, 43 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,853 and he could use a hug. 44 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,988 Okay, tell him that that's not true. 45 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,590 Dwight says that he actually doesn't know 46 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,258 one single fact about bear attacks. 47 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,526 - Okay, no, Jim... - You guys. 48 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,796 Tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. 49 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,864 Jim! 50 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,799 Tell him! 51 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,601 Andy... Nah, that's too far. 52 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,670 Damn you. 53 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:09,261 Today is safety training day. 54 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,463 Toby is leading ours upstairs. 55 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,464 Yuck. 56 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,733 But I am giving everyone 57 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,435 a little bit of a treat. 58 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,504 We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation 59 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,671 to the warehouse. 60 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,275 And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity. 61 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,943 Now... 62 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,479 this is the forklift. 63 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,881 You need... you need 64 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,717 a license to operate this machine. 65 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,453 That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it. 66 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,854 Quiz. Mike. 67 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:36,989 Hmm? 68 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,023 Should you drive the forklift? 69 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,124 I can, and I have. 70 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,125 No, no, no, no, no, no! 71 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,160 I said should you? 72 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,728 You should not drive it. 73 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,429 You should not drive the forklift. 74 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,931 - You understand? - You're now allowed to drive the forklift. 75 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,566 It's not safe. You don't have a license. 76 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,035 Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. 77 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,703 Pudge has driven the forklift. 78 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,205 Madge. 79 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,606 I thought your name was Pudge. 80 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,441 No, it's always been Madge. 81 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,210 Okay. 82 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,278 Um, her. 83 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,747 Her, yes, "her" is qualified 84 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:02,948 to work a dangerous machine. 85 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:03,982 You are not. 86 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,651 Okay? 87 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,785 Ah... fine. 88 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,819 Do you understand that? 89 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,154 Yesh. 90 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,789 We do safety training every year. 91 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,824 Or after an accident. 92 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,527 We've never made it a full year. 93 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,196 This particular time, 94 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:20,032 I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, 95 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:24,703 when one office worker who shall remain nameless 96 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,472 kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled... 97 00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,241 "Hey, Darryl, how's it hangin'?" 98 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,645 And I fell and busted my ankle and... 99 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,381 I'm legitimately scared for my workers. 100 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:40,352 The bailer can flatten a car engine. 101 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:43,689 It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body 102 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,790 without skipping a beat. 103 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,058 Yeah! 104 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,192 It's on. 105 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,461 How many people a year do you think 106 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,296 get their arms cut off in a bailer? 107 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,198 Bail 'er? I hardly know her. 108 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,600 Damn it, Michael, pay attention, man. 109 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,235 Anybody wanna take a guess? 110 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,237 Five bucks says it's over 50. 111 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,238 You really wanna bet? 112 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,305 Anybody? 113 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,440 Ever since March Madness ended, 114 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,941 I am so bored. 115 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,042 - How many? - Okay, you're on. 116 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,044 Ten people, Michael. 117 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,546 Ten people. 118 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,847 Would you like to be one of them? 119 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:09,948 No, don't worry about it. 120 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,116 We'll just go double or nothing. 121 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,451 On what? 122 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,452 I don't know. We'll figure something out. 123 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,953 What are you guys talking about? 124 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,556 These are very dangerous machines down here. 125 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:21,326 And the upstairs workers, Michael... 126 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,128 should not go anywhere near them. 127 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,496 Yes, yes. 128 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,198 But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world... 129 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,733 It would be the worst thing in the world, it would! 130 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,534 What the hell is wrong with this man? 131 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,303 It's a big, red trash compactor. 132 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,238 It's not a trash compactor! 133 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,373 It's a bailer. 134 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,475 Okay, I got it! I got it! 135 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,343 Only on the rarest of occasions... 136 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,911 No, do not touch it! 137 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,314 There is no occasion for you to go near this stuff, okay? 138 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,550 Toby now has the floor. 139 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:48,020 And he is going to try not to screw this up. 140 00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:50,155 Like everything else in his life. 141 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,591 Let me rephrase that. 142 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,826 I believe that you can do safety training 143 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,095 and make it sound just as good as Darryl. 144 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,465 Here we go! 145 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,001 Okay, um... one thing you're gonna wanna look out for 146 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,303 is carpal tunnel syndrome. 147 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,804 It's recommended that you take 148 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,906 a ten-minute break from typing every hour. 149 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,142 For your circulation, um, 150 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,677 you're gonna wanna get up out of your chairs, 151 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,479 and, uh, and move around about ten minutes every hour. 152 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,181 Yes, good, fine. 153 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,783 Like stretching and... 154 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,984 Um... yeah. 155 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,319 Your computer screen 156 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,354 can be a big strain on your eyes. 157 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:25,057 So it's also recommended that you step away 158 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:27,192 for about... about ten minutes every hour. 159 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,594 Wow, that is... that time really adds up. 160 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,997 That's like a half an hour every hour. 161 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,333 Take them at the same time. 162 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,434 Okay, you know what? 163 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,868 You're making it sound kind of lame. 164 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,472 So skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. 165 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,175 Like sometimes, computers can explode. 166 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,209 Can they not? 167 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,444 No, no. 168 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:49,514 Um, you always want to keep a sweater or cardigan 169 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,850 of some sort in case it gets drafty. 170 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,118 What about a long-sleeved tee? 171 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,119 Well, that'll work. 172 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,721 Long johns? A shawl? 173 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,155 You know, anything that warms you. 174 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,390 Okay, you know what? 175 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,225 I think that everybody is going to vomit 176 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,560 due to boredom. 177 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,529 Sorry, he is very lame. 178 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,232 Um... let's see. 179 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,134 Seasonal affective disorder. 180 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,370 "A depression that includes weight gain, 181 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,871 "fatigue, irritability, 182 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,273 brought on by the low light of winter." 183 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,376 Thank God we only had the bailer to deal with. 184 00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,444 Yeah, that dim light is a bitch, ain't it? 185 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,545 Okay, guys, you know what? 186 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,613 I didn't interrupt 187 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,448 when you were having your presentation. 188 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,750 Actually, you did. 189 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,119 Yes. 190 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,920 Okay, let's do another one. 191 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,122 This is a good one. 192 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:32,958 "A particular concern for office workers 193 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,093 "is a sedimentary lifestyle, 194 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,294 which can contribute..." 195 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,963 Sedentary. 196 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:42,300 Yes, "which can contribute to heart disease." 197 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,437 Heart disease kills more people than bailers. 198 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,272 That's called having a fat butt, Michael. 199 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,974 Mmm, no, no, it's... 200 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,309 Yeah, yeah. That's fat butt disease. 201 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,444 That's what you're suffering from? 202 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,812 No. Fat butt disease, Michael? 203 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,080 No, I... 204 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,748 Excuse me, Sea Monster, you weigh, like, 1,000 pounds. 205 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,016 Yeah, I bet you'd like to swim 206 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,484 with this sea monster, wouldn't you? 207 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,019 Ryan! 208 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,587 Dude, please, tell your girl to shut up. 209 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,656 What? Kelly, you insulted the gentleman. 210 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,690 Please, apologize. 211 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,691 Are you kidding me? 212 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:07,893 All right, we out of here. 213 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,061 Darryl, I did not walk out in the middle of yours. 214 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,096 So I... 215 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,564 Yeah, but ours was real, Michael. 216 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,332 - Yes. - That's what we been trying to tell you, Mike. 217 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,067 It's serious down there. 218 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,269 We do dangerous stuff, man. 219 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,671 This is shenanigans, foolishness. 220 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,406 NERF ball. 221 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:24,843 You live a sweet little NERF-y life. 222 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,711 Sittin' on your biscuit. 223 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,613 Never havin' to risk it. 224 00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,651 Okay... 225 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,423 What, NERF isn't cool anymore? 226 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,258 Darryl thinks he's such a man 227 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,127 because he works in a warehouse. 228 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,695 Well, big deal. 229 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,865 I worked in a warehouse... Men's Wearhouse. 230 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,000 I was a greeter. 231 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,368 I'd like to see Darryl greet people. 232 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,604 Probably make 'em feel like wimps. 233 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,372 Not me. I... 234 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,878 Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. 235 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,047 We have a special on khaki pants today. 236 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,852 This is one example. 237 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:08,887 Ten. 238 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,189 Really, ten? That's your guess? 239 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,691 You're a professional accountant. 240 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,359 There's, like, ten green ones. 241 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,393 42. 242 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,428 I'm gonna say 50. 243 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,696 51. 244 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,130 - Oh, don't be that person. - Come on, that is lame. 245 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,131 It's a strategy. 246 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,132 It's called being smart. 247 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,167 - Thank you. - Oh, jeez. 248 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,571 I don't know how the whole betting thing started, 249 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,073 but it's fun. 250 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,140 - Ten. - Kev's out. 251 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,141 Damn it! 252 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,810 47, 48, 49! 253 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:32,811 Jim wins! 254 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,845 Oh! 255 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,913 That is not fair. 256 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,114 He has spent hours up here 257 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,516 at reception with you. 258 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,051 Hours and hours. 259 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,386 Okay... okay. 260 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,054 No, constantly... like, for years. 261 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,322 Okay. 262 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,558 Pam, depression is as scary as a bailer, right? 263 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,927 I...don't understand the question. 264 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,463 "Working in a office can lead to depression 265 00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,231 "which can lead to suicide." 266 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,235 I mean this is really serious stuff. 267 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,236 Yeah. 268 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,237 I... I... 269 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,305 Nobody commits suicide 270 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,107 because they work with a bailer. 271 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,142 And yet those guys are making fun of me. 272 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,411 Calling me a NERF. That... 273 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,880 It's really hard to demonstrate depression. 274 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,316 Their safety training had visuals. 275 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,586 Yeah... you are... 276 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,922 Ah, so right. 277 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,323 They have visual aids. 278 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,159 And all we had were the facts. 279 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,661 You don't go to the science museum 280 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:26,331 and get handed a pamphlet on electricity. 281 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,832 You go to the science museum 282 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,502 and you put your hand on a metal ball. 283 00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,304 Your hair sticks up straight. 284 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,105 And you know science. 285 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,607 So you're okay? 286 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,542 Indubitably. 287 00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:40,478 They use props. 288 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,980 They use visual aids. 289 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:45,083 And they just made us look like dopes. 290 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,484 Idiots! 291 00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,386 God, what are we gonna do! 292 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,554 I don't know. I don't know. 293 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,723 Because you know what our killer is? 294 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,359 Depression. Wolves. 295 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,393 Depression. 296 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,461 Visual aids. 297 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,129 Yes. 298 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,998 A quilt... depression quilt? 299 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,035 No time to sew a quilt. 300 00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:06,705 I got it. 301 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:07,706 Give me the number 302 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,274 for the Giant Big Box toy store. 303 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,447 You may be asking yourself, 304 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,549 "What am I doing on a trampoline?" 305 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,318 Well, I thought I'd bounce here for a while, 306 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,221 relieve some stress, and then move on with my day. 307 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,556 Not! 308 00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:25,757 Here's the plan. 309 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,859 Dwight is going to gather 310 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,729 all of the office workers and all of the warehouse guys 311 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,031 and we're going to have another safety seminar. 312 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,933 Only this time, where's Michael? 313 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:35,934 Oh, my God! 314 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,535 He is on the roof! 315 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,270 Now I've got their attention. 316 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,006 I tell them about 317 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,808 the cold hard facts of depression. 318 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,843 And then I say, 319 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,213 "Hey, you ever seen a suicide?" 320 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,948 And I jump. 321 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,349 And they freak out. 322 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,152 And they get to see the dangers of depression 323 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,787 with their own eyes. 324 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,056 Nice side note... they might think, 325 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,958 hey, I should've been nicer to Michael. 326 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,394 But that's not why I'm doing this. 327 00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:03,561 Then I land on the trampoline, 328 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,463 take a couple extra bounces for fun. 329 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,098 I climb off, walk around the corner. 330 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,667 Ta-freakin'-da! 331 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,703 So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. 332 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,971 So number five becomes number four. 333 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,305 Number six becomes number five. 334 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,573 Number three becomes number two. 335 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,808 Etcetera, etcetera. 336 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:17,909 And let's just say 337 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,411 that I just sent back Love Actually, 338 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:20,412 which was awesome. 339 00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:21,579 And they sent me Uptown Girls, 340 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:22,947 which is also awesome. 341 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,215 But guess what? 342 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,750 Now I want to see Love Actually again. 343 00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,851 But it's at the bottom of the queue. 344 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,086 Oh no! What do I do? 345 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,854 What I do is this: 346 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,690 I go online, I go "click, click, click," 347 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,458 and I change the order of the queue 348 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,593 so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. 349 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,862 It's so easy, Ryan. 350 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,465 Do you really not know how Netflix works? 351 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,567 I guess I forgot. 352 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,370 You're such a ditz. 353 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,708 Ryan, well done. 2 minutes, 42 seconds. 354 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,276 Additionally, Pam, you win ten 355 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,078 because she said "awesome" 12 times. 356 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,113 And Jim, you win five 357 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,582 because she mentioned six romantic comedies. 358 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,551 Okay, let's do this thing! 359 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,752 I'll go summon the troops. 360 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,620 Maybe we should test this first, 361 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,322 Letterman-style. 362 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,457 Throw a TV over. 363 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,293 We measured it once. 364 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,229 Go buy some watermelons. 365 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,198 Seedless? 366 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,966 Just... 367 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:23,007 Creed is eating an apple. 368 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,642 I found a potato. 369 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,412 Hey, Creed. 370 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,813 Hey! 371 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,882 - Hi. - Hello. 372 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,656 Yes! 373 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,891 Here you go. 374 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:40,959 Nice. 375 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,995 I don't know this place 376 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,163 as well as I thought I did. 377 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,899 I'm getting cleaned out. 378 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,000 - Ready? - Let's do it. 379 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,068 Drop that sucker. 380 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,904 Yeah, bingo! 381 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,405 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 382 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,040 Oh, crap! 383 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,044 Deactivate the car alarm, clean up the mess. 384 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,112 Okay. 385 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,147 Find out whose car that is. 386 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,214 If it's Stanley's, 387 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,016 call the offices of James P. Albini. 388 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,151 See if he handles hate crimes. 389 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,152 Got it. 390 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,153 Also, take apart the trampoline, 391 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,154 stick it in the bailer. 392 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,255 We're not allowed to use the bailer. 393 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,190 Have Patch do it... 394 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,324 or the sea monster. 395 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,893 I'm on it! 396 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,394 Eh... 397 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,532 I'm temporarily lifting the shun. 398 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,599 Thank you. 399 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,600 It means nothing. 400 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,768 I need you to do something for me. 401 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:24,936 Anything. 402 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,137 Okay, calm down. 403 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,505 I need you to acquire 404 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,575 an inflatable house and/or castle. 405 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,876 You mean a moon bounce? 406 00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,411 What do you think? You've got an hour. 407 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,180 I'm gonna need petty cash. 408 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,614 Shunning resumed. 409 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,684 Do you... do you want a drawbridge? 410 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,952 Un-shun. 411 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,289 Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun. 412 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,293 Oh, yeah, this is much better. 413 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:49,961 Safer. 414 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,362 An excellent decision. 415 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,364 Yes. Thank you for seeing that. 416 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,465 When you land, 417 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,067 try and land like an eight-year-old. 418 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,036 These bouncy castles are not designed for adults. 419 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,437 I don't know if I want to do this. 420 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,471 Do you want to do another test? 421 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,706 I got plenty of watermelons in my trunk. 422 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,308 No. 423 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,909 No more; the tests are going terrible. 424 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,678 If we keep doing them, I'm not gonna want to jump. 425 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,615 This is about doing, not thinking. 426 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,616 Right, doing! 427 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,818 Totally doing! It's rock and roll! 428 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,986 Rock and roll! Yeah! 429 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,221 You're right; I'm not thinking. 430 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,224 Yes, yeah! 431 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,868 I am ready to do this! 432 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:33,271 I'm ready to make a point! 433 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,739 Hey, guys, listen up. 434 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,741 Michael is up on the roof 435 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,343 and acting strange. 436 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,745 Whoa, what's the situation? 437 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,680 Un-shun. 438 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,916 I think he's suffering from depression. 439 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,117 Re-shun. 440 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,652 Okay, when's the shunning thing gonna end? 441 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,921 Un-shun... never! Re-shun. 442 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,222 I think he wants you all 443 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,590 to come out to the parking lot 444 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,758 and watch him die. 445 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,627 Is it nice outside? 446 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:56,928 It's gorgeous. Let's go! 447 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:57,962 Do I need my jacket? 448 00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,397 No, really, it's very nice. 449 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,498 Come on! 450 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,966 Will I be too warm in a long sleeve T? 451 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,968 Everyone's gonna be fine in exactly what they're wearing! 452 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,203 Let's go! 453 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,173 Let's go! 454 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,113 Come on, hurry up, you guys! 455 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,381 My life! 456 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,150 Oh, my life... 457 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,486 Michael, what's wrong? 458 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,187 Everything's wrong. 459 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,723 The stress of my modern office 460 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,459 has caused me to go into a depression. 461 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,495 Depression? 462 00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:33,865 Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? 463 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,366 Dwight, you ignorant slut. 464 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,703 Depression is a very serious illness. 465 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:43,875 Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year, 466 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,344 according to a 2004 study. 467 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,179 Is that the last year to date it was available? 468 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,180 Yes. 469 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:53,284 My head is in such pain and turmoil! 470 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,186 Don't do anything rash. 471 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,955 Dwight, where are the warehouse guys? 472 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,057 I didn't... 473 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,028 I didn't think you need them for this part. 474 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,097 Okay... that's... 475 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,899 - You said to just... - That's the whole point, dummy. 476 00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,534 Okay, I'm on it. 477 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,735 Okay. 478 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,805 Attention blue collar workers! 479 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,208 What are the odds that this 480 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,576 is in any way real? 481 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,546 I'd say, like, 10,000 to 1. 482 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,682 Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds. 483 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:28,686 If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, 484 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,455 you take it. 485 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,758 If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, 486 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,795 I am going to be a very rich dude. 487 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,465 Michael's up on the roof 488 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,667 and he's acting strange! 489 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,635 Oh, my life! 490 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,170 Michael, what's wrong? 491 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,339 Everything's wrong, Dwight! 492 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,708 The stress of my modern office 493 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,310 has made me depressed. 494 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,344 Depressed? 495 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,645 Isn't that just a fancy word 496 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,314 for feeling bummed out? 497 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,815 Dwight, you ignorant slut. 498 00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,083 Well, you know, 499 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,651 the first performance was a little off. 500 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,387 But I really think they hit their stride 501 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,855 in the second show. 502 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,456 Um... 503 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,759 Might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee. 504 00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,394 And that is why... 505 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,462 Oh, excuse me. It's my favorite part. 506 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,563 I am going to jump off this roof. 507 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,165 This is just offensive. 508 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,533 At least we're outside. 509 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,534 Hey, check it out. 510 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,036 There's a castle over there. 511 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,072 Oh, my God. There is a castle. 512 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,941 No, there's nothing to see over there, people. 513 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,576 There's nothing to see. 514 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,513 They found the castle, Michael. 515 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,281 Damn it. 516 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,285 Oh, God. 517 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,420 Oh, my God! 518 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,687 He's gonna jump. 519 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,390 Oh. 520 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,692 He's going to kill himself 521 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:42,894 pretending to kill himself. 522 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,495 Yeah. 523 00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:49,367 Hey, uh, Michael. 524 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:53,204 Don't jump on the bouncy castle. 525 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,239 You can't do that 526 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,842 'cause you are going to get horribly, horribly injured. 527 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,478 Hey, Michael. 528 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,346 I have a present for you 529 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,981 but you have to come down and get it. 530 00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:06,684 What is it? 531 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,153 Come down and open it and you'll see. 532 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,888 Dwight, find out what the present is. 533 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,424 Okay, uh... I don't see anything. 534 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,759 She might be bluffing. 535 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,760 Dwight. 536 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,495 What are you... 537 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,330 Oh. 538 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,432 It's, uh... 539 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:26,270 A Repliee Q1 Expo female robot. 540 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,905 They're only available in Japan. 541 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,507 Dwight, you are such a liar. 542 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,875 Pam, really, what is it? 543 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,711 Mike, this is the opposite of safety. 544 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,446 You jump, you're gonna seriously hurt yourself. 545 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,916 You told me that I lead a... 546 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:42,753 a cushy, wimpy, NERF life. 547 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,657 Yeah, but I never said you had nothing to live for. 548 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,326 What do I have to live for? 549 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,795 A lot... of things. 550 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,633 Uh, you, uh... 551 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,907 What about Jan? 552 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:06,477 Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man. 553 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,513 It's going good, right? 554 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,716 It's complicated with Jan. 555 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,317 And I don't know where I stand 556 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,353 or what I want. 557 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,922 The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be. 558 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,057 Mike... 559 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,359 you're a very brave man. 560 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:24,962 I mean, it takes courage just to be you. 561 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:28,166 To get out of bed every single day 562 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,569 knowing full well you gotta be you. 563 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:33,971 Do you really mean that? 564 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,706 I couldn't do it. 565 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,309 I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave. 566 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,443 I'm braver than you? 567 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,546 Way braver! 568 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,080 You Braveheart, man. 569 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,252 I Braveheart. 570 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,622 I am. 571 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,957 Come on down, okay? 572 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,493 Okay. 573 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,929 Pam, I'm coming down to get my present. 574 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:03,334 An office is as safe as the people in it. 575 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,169 And sometimes those people 576 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,572 can drive you to do crazy things 577 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:11,609 to show the dangers of the office. 578 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,012 That's the danger I found myself in today. 579 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:19,317 I saved a life... my own. 580 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,152 Am I a hero? 581 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,190 I really can't say. 582 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,758 But, yes.