1 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,963 Val, I need the space 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,965 All right guys, clear out 3 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,008 Everybody out 4 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,300 Promise me you're going to clean up. 5 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,636 What I'm going to do or not do 6 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,721 Promise me 7 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,097 Obviously I'm going to clean up 8 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:18,058 Stress is like the uptight mayor of a town who's saying 9 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,310 "Hey, we're uptight You can't dance." 10 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:24,106 And then, you have to be like "Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress? Well, watch this.' 11 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,442 And then, we dance. 12 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,320 Oh, how we dance. 13 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,732 Sex also works 14 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,299 Hey, Jim's back from jury duty. 15 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,844 Hey! Tuna He's back 16 00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:37,387 Hey 17 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,430 Oh, look at this 18 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,265 Tuna wrap Okay 19 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,060 Hand roll 20 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,937 How was jury duty? 21 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,480 Pretty uneventful actually. 22 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,774 Let someone like you serve on a jury 23 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,818 Makes me question the whole judicial system 24 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,111 What was the case? 25 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,278 A hit and run 26 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,781 Ooh! The case of the hit and run. That's exciting. 27 00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,199 Did you send him to the slammer? 28 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,826 No. Not guilty 29 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,536 Of course you found him not guilty 30 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,540 He apologized And I just really want him to like me. Mmm! 31 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,333 We're best friends actually. 32 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,460 We're going wine tasting next weekend if you want to come 33 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,837 Not coming Have plans. 34 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,130 Okay 35 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,423 I did get called into jury duty 36 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,384 And they released me around noon 37 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,469 so I didn't think it was worth it 38 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,596 to come back to work for a half day. 39 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,641 And then the next morning, Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids 40 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,227 so I took an extra day to help out. 41 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,689 And then three other days happened 42 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,732 Ah 43 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,734 Angela had the baby 44 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,863 Is it black? Because that would be hilarious 45 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,030 Why? 46 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,116 You know 47 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,077 Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby? 48 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,914 A little bit. Yeah. Right, guys? Back me up 49 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:47,875 Maybe a little bit 50 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,710 Oh. Did I win the pool? 51 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,296 Uh, no Right month wrong year. 52 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,465 No one won the pool Angela wasn't due for another month. 53 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,509 We should all go to the hospital and visit her 54 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,720 Oh, I'd love to, but 55 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,347 Oh, man, I would, but I can't miss any more work 56 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,934 Well, Kevin and I have to go because accounting is its own little family. 57 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,814 Yeah, Oscar's the dad I'm Oscar's dad and Angela's my mom. 58 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,650 Everyone, our very own Angela 59 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,777 We all got the e-mail Some of us are going to go visit 60 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,529 Oh, I am so in 61 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,201 It's the perfect blend of love and horror 62 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,037 Things can go so wrong or so right 63 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,334 Come on, Judge Judy tell us your case. What were the deets? 64 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,044 It was actually a pretty boring case 65 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:35,172 How could it be boring? You were there for five days Titillate us 66 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,508 Yeah, you owe us. I had to stay until 6:00 twice to cover for you. 67 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,385 My wife got to the TV first. 68 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,055 I had to sit through damn Rizzoli & damn Isles. 69 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,933 Yeah. My car got smashed visiting one of your clients 70 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,019 and I had to have it detailed and they took my meter change 71 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,395 Wow. I'm really sorry 72 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,521 Yeah 73 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,857 I never considered that my week off 74 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,443 would make everyone else's job harder 75 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,655 The least I could do was give them a good story 76 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,907 So Phyllis he was here and then 77 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,576 the car came and it was like that. 78 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,745 Yeah, so it had to be a double backflip, actually 79 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:10,374 You know when I was on J-duties strangler case, 80 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:15,337 we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from Ernesto's 81 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,172 Oh, man, Ernesto's 82 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,882 That was our favorite restaurant, too 83 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,218 You mean food truck Ernesto's was a food truck 84 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,844 Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas 85 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,763 Nobody cares about the empanadas 86 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,556 I was in Los Angeles last year 87 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:30,102 Jim tricked me into thinking I'd won a walk-on part on NCIS, 88 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,144 but that's not important 89 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,773 While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere 90 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,733 Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them 91 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,820 and nobody calls them restaurants 92 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,621 Guys, I don't know how many of you have seen 93 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,456 Gabe, bring it in 94 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,459 how many of you have seen a premature baby before. 95 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,421 It's going to be really tiny so please don't say anything offensive 96 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,047 Got that, bimbo? 97 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,632 Got it, bimbo 98 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,884 Yes? 99 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,012 Knock, knock. 100 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722 Hi. - Uh 101 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,477 I don't want What are you guys doing here? 102 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,855 We wanted to say hi to the newest little Dunder Mifflinite 103 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:20,527 Well, meet our not-so-little bundle of joy Philip Halsted Lipton 104 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,154 Philip is so fat 105 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,363 Kevin 106 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,866 You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar 107 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,827 You didn't prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby 108 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,746 Yes, he's substantial Hey 109 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,749 He's more than substantial He's a monster. 110 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,003 So this whole hit and run thing 111 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,005 there's this one part I can't figure out. 112 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,548 You said it was at a four-way stop? 113 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:42,632 Mmm-hmm 114 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,803 And the victim rode his bicycle into the left-hand turn lane 115 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,598 but the perp was already in the left-hand turn lane? 116 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,932 Mmm-hmm 117 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,770 See, that's what I'm having trouble with, because the fact is 118 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,482 you never said he was on a bicycle. 119 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,364 Busted, Halpert! Yes Wait. No 120 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,615 Andy, get out here 121 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,824 was on a bicycle 122 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,242 wasn't listening to you 123 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,577 a citizen's arrest 124 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:11,912 You have the right to remain silent. 125 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,205 You have the right to beg for mercy. 126 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,333 You have the right to request judgment by combat Dwight's rights 127 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,876 What's up, gangsters? 128 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,712 Jim was lying about jury duty 129 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,132 He was lying the whole time so he could go do yoga or go canoeing, 130 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,718 I don't know what this pervert likes. Fire him! 131 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,888 Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory 132 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,433 saying that the victim... 133 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,644 Dwight I have me on the record 134 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,855 saying to you take a chill pill all right? 135 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,482 I don't need to take a chill pill 136 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,817 Here, right there 137 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,905 Down the hatch 138 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,783 I really don't want to take a chill pill. 139 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,453 That a boy, good Now, chill. 140 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,538 Okay, okay 141 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,211 But let's just say that Jim was lying about jury duty 142 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,879 you would have to fire him, right? 143 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,591 Yeah, sure. Of course. I'd fire him to Timbuktu 144 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,759 Ha-ha 145 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,179 Good enough for me 146 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,390 Ah 147 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,438 And Pam was just going crazy trying to take care of Philip 148 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,857 because Cece has been out of control recently. 149 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,611 Look, Andy, it doesn't matter The truth is I just feel terrible lying to you. 150 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,030 Getting lied to 151 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,366 No one's ever lied to me before 152 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:34,453 Okay 153 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,371 I think the best thing to do right now 154 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,248 is just come clean and tell everybody 155 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,126 No. Not after what I told Dwight about firing you. No 156 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,210 Here's what we're going to do 157 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,880 We're going to have ourselves a good old fashioned cover-up 158 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,258 You ever heard of a Connecticut cover up? No 159 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,343 You know why you never heard of it? 160 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,470 Covered it up 161 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,514 Are you sure you can keep this under wraps? 162 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,433 They used to call me King Tut 163 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,102 because I'm so good at keeping things under wraps 164 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,855 My nickname was actually King Butt 165 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,690 because I had a king-sized butt 166 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,742 Where do you want it parked? 167 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,663 Okay, everybody Gather round. 168 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,790 Got a real special surprise for you 169 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,083 Ernesto 170 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,793 Hola, Toby! 171 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,137 Uh, I'm going to say "I" when I'm talking for Ernesto 172 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,473 so instead of, "He says blah, blah, blah, ' 173 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,434 I'm going to say, "I say blah, blah, blah, ' but that's for him. 174 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,396 Anyway, it was something like he remembers Toby. 175 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,232 "I remember Toby.' 176 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,736 Oh, Jim. Hey, this guy look familiar? 177 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,363 It's the empanada guy 178 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,572 The empanada guy 179 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,117 Holy *. Damn it, Toby No, I wasn't asking you. 180 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,745 Ask him if he remembers Jim 181 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,751 No 182 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,169 He says no 183 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,504 He says no. Boom 184 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,130 Yeah, but who remembers all their customers? 185 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,341 I mean, I can name like three of our clients 186 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,469 He remembers Toby the most forgettable man in the known world 187 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,684 He doesn't want any trouble. 188 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,352 He sees lots of people 189 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,272 they come from all around to eat his delicious meat pockets. 190 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:29,484 Uh, you guys are going to love these, so empanadas on me 191 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,569 You guys got to try them 192 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,906 Usually I'm a burrito guy but if you won't tell, I won't. Wink, wink. 193 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,784 Great And while we're enjoying these delicious empanadas 194 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:40,161 Jim, why don't you tell us your story again? 195 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,329 Why? Everybody's heard it 196 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,123 Walk us through it 197 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,666 What time would you get there every morning? 198 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,751 Hey, Murder, She Wrote, 199 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,380 how about we drop the whole Murder, She Wrote thing, okay? 200 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,425 Jim was at the courthouse for jury duty every morning 201 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,177 How do I know? Because I drove him there 202 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,763 Why? Why? 203 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,390 Why? 204 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,685 Because my car broke down 205 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,770 His car broke down so he called me 206 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,938 because I live near the courthouse 207 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,983 Wait, wait, you live by the courthouse 208 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,445 You drove from near the courthouse out to Jim's house 209 00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:14,988 and then back to the courthouse? 210 00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,616 Thirty minutes out 30 minutes back easy hour. 211 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,492 And I would watch that cute, little tooshy 212 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,828 scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning 213 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,580 and that was that 214 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:28,043 I'm sorry, do you have any American Mexican food? 215 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,295 We're getting buried out there 216 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,005 What was that stuff about the car breaking down? 217 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,882 Well, I think you handled it pretty well 218 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,427 I'm not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim, I can't keep spinning gold out of your * 219 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,137 Okay, listen, all right? 220 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,431 Dwight's onto us. He's going to figure it out really soon 221 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,350 So let's just get ahead of it. Let's tell the truth 222 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,478 I don't even know what the truth is anymore. 223 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,813 Wow, it's so 224 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,815 healthy 225 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,443 I'm going to call him Little Kevin 226 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,903 No, you will not 227 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,323 Is he really five pounds? Because I squat with five pounds 228 00:10:58,866 --> 00:10:59,949 This 229 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,369 Yeah, this feels like more than that 230 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,080 No, no, no he's nine pounds seven ounces. 231 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,916 Nine pounds? Really? 232 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,836 I thought you said five You know what? I was under so many drugs 233 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,632 a James Taylor concert or something 234 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,801 So, what did you bring? 235 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,970 Oh, yeah, I don't know if it's right, but... 236 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,349 Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper 237 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:25,517 you hit it out of the park 238 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,894 Oh 239 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,729 Preemie pajamas 240 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,523 Again, it may not be the right size, I can 241 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,984 No, I think he came early just so he could wear these 242 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,194 Thank you 243 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,697 Call of Duty. 244 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,241 This baby is clearly not premature 245 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,201 They're lying about the date it was conceived 246 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,161 It's very interesting 247 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:49,332 And her husband's gay I don't even know which thread to follow. 248 00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:00,677 Uh, excuse me, can I have everyone's attention for a second? 249 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,512 First off, I just want to say that I'm really sorry 250 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,389 I didn't know that my absence last week 251 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,224 would have been a burden on any of you 252 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:09,394 Because, though I did have jury duty last week, 253 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,981 they did dismiss me early on Monday. 254 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,818 And I think you're going to find this pretty hilarious. 255 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,864 I kind of, well maybe took the week off 256 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,241 What? 257 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,368 Funny? No? Nobody laughed 258 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,455 You're screwed 259 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:32,459 Oh! It's happening. It's really happening 260 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,295 What the hell, Jim I covered for your bony butt 261 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,589 Pam really needed some help with the kids, so... 262 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,174 I promise my intentions were good 263 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,884 Your clients, they're all mine 264 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:45,305 Jim, I got my ass chewed out because one of your orders got messed up. 265 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,766 And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse 266 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,058 Uh, I did 267 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,188 Every morning And if I didn't then I hope I die 268 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:58,026 All right, well, let's get this show on the road, shall we? 269 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,029 Allow me to give you a hand Here we are. 270 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,239 So long, clump mate 271 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,575 I'm going to miss you Truth be told, 272 00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,328 I never thought that this was how it was going to end 273 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,455 I was going to defeat you somehow 274 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:11,664 but you've defeated yourself 275 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,876 Dwight, cut it out I'm not firing Jim. 276 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,628 No, no, no, no you said... 277 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,463 ANDY I know what I said 278 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:22,634 Jim, you're in deep doo-doo you understand? 279 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,010 And I have one thing to say to you 280 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,304 and I'm going to say it in front of this whole office 281 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,722 Look me in the eye 282 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,477 That's it? 283 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,313 This is crap 284 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,068 You've reached Gabe Lewis. I'm currently indisposed. 285 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,070 Leave me a message. Ciao. 286 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,321 Gabe, it's Dwight again 287 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,490 Highest priority triple urgent. 288 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,159 Call me immediately That means ASAP 289 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,662 I'm going to find Gabe tell him what Jim did 290 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,748 and let the little stickler do what he does best, stickle 291 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,418 Honestly, I can return this for a larger size 292 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,421 It's fine Pajamas aren't supposed to be baggy, right? 293 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,756 It's not the barrio 294 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,594 The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate 295 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,807 Little Kevin 296 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,725 Really? Angela 297 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,269 Fine. God 298 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,896 Philip was conceived nine months ago. 299 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,817 The Senator and I wanted to wait 300 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,194 but we had just seen Thor, 301 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,697 and there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata 302 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,532 Chicken marsala Right 303 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,202 And, the point is, Philip was conceived out of wedlock 304 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,370 Hmm 305 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,707 And now you all know but you can never tell 306 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,584 I'm serious 307 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,461 Dwight 308 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,671 Hey 309 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,839 Oh. Hey, have you seen Gabe? 310 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,091 He went to the car or something but he'll be back. 311 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,467 Okay 312 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,889 Don't you want to see the baby? 313 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,309 Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like 314 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,728 I can mash that up in my head right now 315 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,065 wouldn't tell 316 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,358 So don't 317 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,070 Angela got pregnant before the wedding. 318 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,365 What? 319 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,742 She got pregnant before the wedding 320 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,493 How long before? A month 321 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,293 You didn't hear it from me 322 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,753 Yes, I did 323 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,051 Dwight? Dwight. 324 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,180 Well, Angela will make you cut your fingernails It's not worth it 325 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,098 Oh 326 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:35,600 Yes 327 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,518 Oh 328 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:42,482 What a beautiful child Prominent forehead, short arms, tiny nose. 329 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,860 You will lead millions 330 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,863 willingly or as slaves 331 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:53,368 That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex 332 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,370 that baby is mine 333 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,289 He's hungry 334 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,458 Oh, that's my cue to leave. 335 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,251 No, you don't have to I'm going to wear this cover. 336 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,254 Still 337 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,464 You won't be seeing 338 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:09,884 Do you want the giraffe? 339 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,887 Yes, I am bringing my kids in to help me get out of this hole. 340 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,722 And you all remember my beautiful wife, Pam 341 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:15,848 Hi 342 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,810 Wow, I really thought I'd be more excited to be here 343 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,687 Whoa, whoa, whoa Game face, baby. Game face 344 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,813 Oh, right. Okay 345 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,606 Hey, Stanley it's great to see you 346 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,649 No, that's overdoing it I think. 347 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,818 Hi, Stanley. Split the difference 348 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,569 Jim. Okay. Let's go 349 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,029 Hi 350 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,824 Hi, everybody 351 00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,492 What? Oh, hi 352 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:35,952 How about a little visit? 353 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,997 Wow. What a surprise That's crazy 354 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,999 You guys get to meet the little heck raisers 355 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,750 Hey, Angela's back with her baby. 356 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,502 Yes, well, you guys all know Cece, 357 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,587 but we wanted to introduce you to baby Philip. 358 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,717 You guys 359 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,013 He's licking on my finger just like my cat does. 360 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,222 Let me have a turn 361 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,348 No, it's the pacifier's turn 362 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,474 All right 363 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,184 Did you say something about 364 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,438 this one bringing in something for these people? 365 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,691 Yes. Cece wanted to thank everybody 366 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:10,236 for letting her daddy stay home with her all last week and play 367 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,904 so she brought you a little treat 368 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,156 Oh, cookies? 369 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,782 No. But that would have been a really good idea 370 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:15,867 That would have been really good 371 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,619 No, she brought you drawings 372 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,205 Oh, my goodness, let's take a look at these 373 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:25,918 They're usually amazing so let's see. Yep, they are 374 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,378 Uncle Andy 375 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,504 Oh 376 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,839 Aunt Phyllis 377 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:33,092 Wow. These are incredible Cece, did you do these? 378 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,218 No 379 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:37,972 She says no to everything. You know, she thinks my name is "No.' 380 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,891 Cece, do you want some broccoli? 381 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:40,975 Yes 382 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,060 No 383 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:43,936 It's crazy 384 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,647 Why am I shorter than the table that I'm standing next to? 385 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,817 ANDY There is crosshatching in some of these 386 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,736 That's kind of advanced for a 2-year-old. 387 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,447 Cece, this is your big sister, Kelly 388 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,407 Did you color this pretty picture? 389 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,533 No 390 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,827 So then this means nothing to you? 391 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,663 Hey, Cece 392 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,460 why don't you draw another picture for us exactly like this one 393 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,588 or at least in the exact same style? 394 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,841 You know what? I don't think you need to do things on command. 395 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,761 That's very weird Just take that. Thank you. 396 00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:20,014 I think we should just wrap up the show kiddos, right? 397 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,308 Else we can do here 398 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,769 Okay. All right 399 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,562 It's okay, sweetie All right 400 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,272 All right. Okay 401 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,693 It's okay 402 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,487 Shh 403 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:41,119 Angela, this child is definitely mine. He looks just like me 404 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,912 Every baby looks just like you 405 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,372 Your face kind of looks like a baby 406 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:48,960 Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding? 407 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,129 That is completely untrue 408 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,213 Completely true 409 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,297 No Remember? 410 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,258 You said that Robert was not fulfilling you 411 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,676 And I said that I could fulfill you 412 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,052 and you said "I'd like to see you try.' 413 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,304 And then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls 414 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,722 That didn't happen 415 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,391 Then I inserted my penis into your... 416 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,017 No! Stop it! Dwight 417 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,227 ...vagina and 418 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,520 And even if it did, it's just a coincidence 419 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,147 Admit that there is a chance. I will not 420 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,273 Admit it I will not 421 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,274 It's not 422 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,568 All done? Yes 423 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,236 Yes. He's sleeping 424 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,071 Before I go, may I? 425 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,573 Sure 426 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,826 Watch the head Watch the head 427 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,588 Nurse! You know that baby in there? Baby Philip? 428 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,131 Cancel the circumcision 429 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,215 Who are you? 430 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,764 What that means 431 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,434 We're going to circumcise him 432 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,854 Cece, want to come? 433 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:50,897 No 434 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,523 Want to come play? Oh, bud, I know. 435 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,566 Do you have a pacifier? 436 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,610 Yeah. I'm looking I'm looking for the pacifier. 437 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,695 Cece Okay, we're going 438 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,114 We got to go All right, we're going home 439 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,951 I know 440 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,830 You gotta grab her I'll go grab her. Okay 441 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,249 Okay. Here we go Here we go. 442 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,752 Okay, I'm just going to go down to the car, and I'm going to put her 443 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,629 in her seat and I'll be right back up 444 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,548 We'll see you tomorrow 445 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,758 No, no, it's okay I'll be right back. 446 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:19,926 No, just go home 447 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,053 It's all good We got this. 448 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,765 Last week Jim at home 449 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,976 that was no vacation 450 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,561 Jim, just go 451 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,605 Hey, we'll be just fine 452 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,900 Thanks, guys 453 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,653 All right, here we go Let's go 454 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,155 Oh! 455 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,448 Phew 456 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,043 Dwight, what the hell? 457 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,712 You can't smoke in here 458 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,297 Oh, all right 459 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,258 Ah 460 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,635 The office looks different now Mmm 461 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,053 Smaller 462 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,722 Maybe I just feel bigger 463 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,099 Hello, Gabe 464 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,308 You had something important to tell me? 465 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:14,522 Oh. You know, I did but now it seems infinitely insignificant 466 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,901 Jim? Oh, right No, forget it. 467 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,487 He was doing it for his kids I get it 468 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,115 Kids drive us dads crazy. 469 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,908 Sometimes I feel like they're raising us. 470 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,618 Am I right?