1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,252 Today is the first day of Sabre's new project 2 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,504 to develop a chain of retail stores. 3 00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:09,383 Nellie Bertram Head of Special Projects. 4 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,635 Work starts at 9:00. 5 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:15,347 Sabre HQ is 30 minutes away driving the speed limit, 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,683 giving everyone 20 minutes to shower, 7 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,060 plus 50 for Jim to style his hair, 8 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:24,398 20 for breakfast, 40 for Erin to get post between her room and the lobby, 9 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,109 90 for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy. 10 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,112 We're already 20 minutes late 11 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,954 Wake up! 12 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,835 Hey, hey, hey hey, wake up! Ow 13 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,463 Why are you sleeping that way? 14 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,841 Oh. I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep. 15 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:55,387 Stanley! Wake up You've got to wake up The hotel's on fire! 16 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,973 Stanley, wake up It's pretzel day 17 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,192 Good morning 18 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:12,154 Hey, wake up Let's have some fun. We're in Florida now 19 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,615 Hey, you. I'm so glad this is happening 20 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,117 door twice last night 21 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,328 Come on in, the water's fine 22 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,038 Oh, not coo 23 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:26,085 sleep schedule, so I'm up and at 'em at 4:15 24 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,797 But no kids, so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself 25 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,299 And then I thought of something. Uh 26 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,261 Here is Dwight What the 27 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,015 Oh, man 28 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,475 What do you think happened? 29 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,812 Looks like Jim got mixed up with some bad apples. 30 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:48,565 Oh, no, no, no, no It wasn't me 31 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,528 at the Alcohol Club." 32 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,680 Puppet Cool. For your kids? 33 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:22,516 Yeah. It's weird being away from them. I've never done this before 34 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,687 Attention Dunder Mifflin group proceed outside. 35 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,857 The vehicle is waiting Seats have been assigned 36 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,483 Shotgun goes to Ryan 37 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,610 Congratulations, Ryan 38 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,198 I need to make Nellie see me as a leader today. 39 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,742 First impressions get locked in forever 40 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,911 When I first met Pam she said something 41 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,830 that slightly rubbed me the wrong way 42 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,124 Since then I've loved working with Pam 43 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,876 and she's frankly wonderful 44 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,169 but I hate her 45 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,588 I'll have a bottle of the antacid 46 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,840 Also I want to get a souvenir for my son 47 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,550 but his mother doesn't acknowledge my paternity. 48 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,801 Do you have anything for that? 49 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,761 Also I want it to have a Florida feel 50 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,388 What does he like? 51 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,140 Power 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,978 Okay, and this one is, "Huh. Don't see too many museums around here." 53 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,397 Okay, Twiggy, that's enough Get in the car. 54 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,024 Hey, are you okay? 55 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,443 I'm fine, okay? I'm just stressed 56 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,695 because I care about this project 57 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,197 And frankly, the fact that none of you 58 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,740 are vomiting or diarrheal right now 59 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,035 Who says none of us are diarrheal? 60 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,831 Are you sure it's stress? Because I did poison you 61 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,291 Very funny, Jim 62 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,084 Oh, no, I'm serious. I was thinking for this trip 63 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,003 so what should that be? 64 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,005 And then I thought of it I'll poison you 65 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,257 What are you going to do? Are you going to steal my newspaper 66 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,759 or put a cricket in my cereal or something? 67 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,428 I'm gonna set your face on fire. That's a good one 68 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,683 Whoa. Stanley, did you just come back 69 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,976 from burning down a rival night club? 70 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,102 Laugh it up, Halpert 71 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:53,023 I'm in Florida for a month without my family I'm going to enjoy this. 72 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,151 Want to get in? You can work the iPod 73 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,153 Yes 74 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,990 You're a nice guy, Jim but you have no idea how to vacation. 75 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,158 Find some Kenny Loggins 76 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,368 Loggins and Messina 77 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,245 Did I say Messina? 78 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:13,210 Sorry, I couldn't resist It's so quiet. 79 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,547 It's so peaceful, I've already written 12 plays today 80 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:22,844 It's so quiet, one might say you could hear a pin... 81 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,015 would be cooler 82 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,851 Hey, can you pick up the pin? 83 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,436 Some of us like to work in our bare feet 84 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:36,358 Of course. I will pick up the pin It is right here 85 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,112 Got it Can we see that? Did you really find it? 86 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:43,365 Yes. Right here. Got it. Dink. Ow 87 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,869 In the trash Hey, why is it so quiet? 88 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,705 Shouldn't the phone be ringing? 89 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:51,790 Uh-oh 90 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,875 Erin set the phone to voice-mail 91 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,669 Great. Oh, my God, we're screwed 92 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,463 There 93 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,757 Oh, there we go. Pam? 94 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,175 Yeah 95 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,635 Can you get the phone? 96 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,053 Well, I'm not the receptionist 97 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,471 Well, you used to be 98 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,809 I know but I can't cover reception I have a ton of work to do. 99 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,728 Phone's ringing 100 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,733 Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out! I know it's for me. 101 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,824 Are you guys kidding me? Stop flirting and someone get the phone 102 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,200 Answer the phone 103 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,535 Pick up the phone 104 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:29,870 Andy, you're standing up 105 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,079 You're the closest one to it 106 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,289 Fine 107 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,624 Hello. Dunder Mifflin 108 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,252 Hello, you've reached Dunder Mifflin. How may I be of service? 109 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,630 How was the drive? Fantastic 110 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,840 Stanley drives so fast 111 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:46,011 Life is short. Drive fast leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos 112 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,348 I would love to hear the other mottos 113 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,641 Quick query, Halpert 114 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,809 No way 115 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,186 Still queer? 116 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:55,937 Packer 117 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,774 You can't put me down Too strong 118 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,278 Yeah, Dwight and Jim tried to get me fired. 119 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,822 But I landed on my feet down here in Florida 120 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:09,117 You see, this cat's got nine lives and a nine-inch 121 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,622 Say, "So who's leading this thing anyway?' 122 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,833 So who's leading this thing anyway? 123 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,089 Psst. Say, "I can't wait to meet him.' 124 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:29,721 "Him," you said? Don't think a woman can be a leader? 125 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:34,393 L You poor, simple boy 126 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,019 Expected a man, did you? 127 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:42,025 Strong, powerful huge whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint 128 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:46,613 But my huge whopping penis is right here and I'm not afraid to use it 129 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:52,119 So stop looking at my breasts and start looking at my penis. 130 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,251 I'm Nellie Bertram President of Special Projects 131 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,044 In the next few weeks we're going to throw 132 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,629 everything you know about business 133 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:05,215 out of the window and do it our own way 134 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,634 Are your minds blown? 135 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:11,138 So, how did this special project come about anyway? 136 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:17,519 Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch 137 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,940 After you decided I wasn't a good fit... 138 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,525 It was Ah. Mmm-mmm 139 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,528 It was. I went on a shopping spree 140 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,114 Very destructive, I bought 1/ pianos 141 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,826 Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? Hmm? 142 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,414 So I called Jo old friend, founder of Sabre and I told her, 143 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,459 and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, "Yes!' 144 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,919 So let's talk about this Sabre store then 145 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,964 Probably going to look stupid, right? 146 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:48,633 Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? 147 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,218 What do you think it should look like? 148 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:53,305 It might be fun if each store had a different theme 149 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,765 like a beach one, a winter one, a jungle one 150 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,684 No. Not a big fan of the winter aesthetic 151 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,603 Well, that was just one idea It doesn't have to be winter. 152 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,563 Oh, no, it does. It does 153 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,232 It has to be winter and I reject it 154 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:09,571 So I drew up a design concept probably going to be rubbish, right? 155 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,158 Would you like to look at it? Just so you can laugh at it 156 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,284 Yeah 157 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,494 Let me just get the projector working 158 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,623 You got to stop with the antacids It's not the antidote 159 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,875 You didn't poison me It's just stress. 160 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,251 Okay 161 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,628 What is the antidote? 162 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,004 True love's kiss 163 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,464 Jim, help me lower this screen 164 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,508 You're a big tall man 165 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,677 You'd be hilarious trying to do it like a little boy. 166 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,638 Just let go of his balloon 167 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,015 I'll do it. 168 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:40,519 Something done right, ask Dwight. 169 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,603 Right, Dwight 170 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,105 Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight 171 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,691 Sorry. Now you'll never be able to get that out of your head 172 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:57,869 There we go 173 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,002 Yes, a complete inability to pass gas, pervert. 174 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:10,423 Yeah, it's tender, but it can't be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon 175 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,302 Okay, what poison mimics the symptoms of appendicitis? 176 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,637 You don't know. Hold on 177 00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,187 What kind of poison did you use? 178 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,774 Dwight, I didn't poison you I was kidding 179 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,405 Yeah, I'm going to need an ambulance 180 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,825 Hold on. I have the address in my phone Hold on. 181 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,452 Sabre has assigned Hold on one second 182 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,079 ...the following positions in the retail division. 183 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,330 Uh, quick question 184 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:45,875 Vice President, who is that? There is no name listed. 185 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,838 Is there not? Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to wow me 186 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,969 Sir? Sir, where should we send the ambulance? 187 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,722 Send it to the freaking moon, idiot 188 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,934 I'll tell you what, though since my move down to Florida 189 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,186 I've really gotten back into hunting, big-time. 190 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:09,232 Hunting's so primal almost sexual - Totally. 191 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,942 Yeah, I mean I'd never bang an animal 192 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,068 You can hardly tell the difference 193 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,278 between a boy or a girl you know? 194 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,779 But hunting's intense 195 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,281 You talking about hunting? 196 00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,907 I'm a master hunter 197 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,993 Did you say "masturbator"? 198 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,746 I'm a decent baiter. My cousin, Mose, that's a master baiter 199 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,873 Why are you sitting down like that? 200 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,000 Why is everyone else standing up? 201 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:30,337 Okay, team, let's get back to work Break's over 202 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,257 Wow. Are you that bored? 203 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,427 It's just rum I'm not bored. I'm a pirate 204 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,179 Is that another motto? 205 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,847 It's whatever you want 206 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,223 Hmm 207 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,725 Or do you only drink with your kids? 208 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,226 No, let's do it 209 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,436 Woah. That's healthy 210 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,938 I've spent so much of my life telling myself, 211 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,232 "Please, don't end up like Stanley.' 212 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,404 And now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes 213 00:10:57,281 --> 00:11:03,244 We have the Sabre pyramid, right? We've got a bunch of humans 214 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,414 You guys. Humans, pyramid 215 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,917 Human pyramid. Do you follow? 216 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,753 It's a team-building exercise 217 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,421 You love it. Who's in? 218 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,341 Tallahassee, let's go 219 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,509 Jim, are you in? 220 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,927 Oh, I don't know 221 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,387 Sounds like a hoot. I'm in 222 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,264 All right What the heck? Let's do it 223 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,684 This is great. This is going to be great 224 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,435 I feel like I'm in ancient Egypt. 225 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,730 I'll be on top That's the most important position 226 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,816 Dude, I think you have appendicitis. 227 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,110 Dwight, why don't we just hold off 228 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,112 with the human pyramids for a while? 229 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,239 Everyone stop moving. Everyone stop wiggling 230 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:40,532 going to vomit 231 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,742 Dude, don't you yak on me This shirt is Van Heusen 232 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,910 Oh, stop moving 233 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,955 No one's moving. 234 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,335 Arrest Jim. He poisoned me 235 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,213 What? No. No It was not a poisoning 236 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,340 The one thing Pam made sure I knew, 237 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,551 Florida's pretty loose with the death penalty 238 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,469 You need an operation You have appendicitis 239 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,139 Oh! Who called it? Nothing but net 240 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,473 How long will he be gone? 241 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,850 Two or three days 242 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,060 Don't remember me like this 243 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,730 Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen 244 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,897 Drama queen, am I right? 245 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,653 Philip, if you're hearing this memo 246 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,239 that can only mean one thing, I am dead 247 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:26,244 You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing 248 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,830 Kill Mose before he kills you 249 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,836 Mose. Hey, it's Dwight 250 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,504 Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads up 251 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,964 That was an interesting diversion 252 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,507 Should we get back to the meeting? 253 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,385 Woah. Are those mini pizzas? 254 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,637 Yeah. I figure if we keep things savory 255 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,890 while Oscar's mouth is in canker country 256 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:49,225 bacon-wrapped dates on deck. 257 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:53,396 Look at these little mini pizzas. Does this make me look huge? 258 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,609 Hey, guys look at me, I'm huge. 259 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,987 Hey, Darryl, good news your fax went through. 260 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,531 Oh yeah 261 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,699 Up high 262 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:05,950 Yes, sir. Thanks. 263 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,496 Dunder Mifflin, this is Andy. I put out some new magazines Check it out 264 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,080 Ah, Dwell. 265 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,879 I'm acting like I like Reception, and I'm a really good actor 266 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:21,424 so people are actually buying that p actually like Reception. 267 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,385 But I mean, seriously, Reception sucks 268 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,054 Ooh! There's the phone 269 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,556 I just got out of surgery 270 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,934 What's going on? Fill me in 271 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,229 Well, we broke into groups and the groups are giving presentations later. 272 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,064 Who's doing the presentations? 273 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:37,732 Packer's giving one 274 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,567 Jim will probably give ours, I guess. 275 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:40,693 Damn it 276 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,655 Let's see What else have you missed? 277 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:46,032 Ryan switched his name tag to his pants 278 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,575 so now it's like if you wear yours 279 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,118 on your shirt you're a total dip 280 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,287 But if you switch you're a copycat 281 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,540 But I think I figured out a solution 282 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,418 What else? My shoes are... 283 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,255 ...features the tech support area Bring in your product, 284 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,841 a bunch of nerdy virgins fix it on the spot 285 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,259 Huge for building loyalty 286 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,094 Yes, that is a very good point 287 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,804 Yeah, Todd, decent idea 288 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,890 Obvious, but interesting 289 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,559 Dwight, are you all right? 290 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,143 I'm great. How are you? 291 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:19,774 Uh. 292 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,444 What's our presentation about? 293 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,654 Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? 294 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,155 You were there for like three hours. 295 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,782 I got the surgery. What else is there to do? 296 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,784 Do 100 jumping jacks No. I don't feel like it. 297 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,077 You do 100 jumping jacks 298 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,956 ...ninety-seven, 98, 99 299 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,084 You haven't done any of the research 300 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,879 You're too slow. You're too small. Seabiscuit is a stupid name 301 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,630 You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit 302 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,173 I'm going to do it 303 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,758 Oh, let him do it 304 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,969 Stanley, are you listening to music? 305 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,220 Yep 306 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,057 All right, who's ready for the next presentation? 307 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,310 Oh... What is your topic? 308 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,230 What is our topic? Oh, what a topic it is. Mmm-hmm 309 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,815 Retail consumer habits 310 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,859 Really? Okay 311 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,612 Retail consumer habits is 312 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,365 The only thing you need to know 313 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,742 about retail consumer habits is that 314 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,244 consumers are mindless lemmings 315 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,830 They just want to be told what to do 316 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:22,378 Fast-forward to today and the retail consumer is independent 317 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:26,799 well-informed, super smart Super smart 318 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,509 Okay 319 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,599 Shopping habits are both seasonal and cyclical 320 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,808 What does this mean? 321 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,186 No, sit down 322 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:42,982 Seasonal, well, the Christmas shopping season is certainly a busy one. 323 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,776 Back to school is as well 324 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,111 and in early summer it seems to slow down a bit 325 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,947 But shopping is also cyclical 326 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:53,284 The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes. 327 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:58,706 You see, during ovulation a woman's only goal is to get pregnant. 328 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,377 During menses she is sad that she has failed. 329 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,296 And how does the woman console herself? 330 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,757 Shopping. Shopping 331 00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:10,718 Just, Jim, could you fetch me some ice chips? 332 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:17,976 Thank you. Just gonna take a brief pause at this point 333 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,560 Thank you 334 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,480 Oh, God 335 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,734 Next slide 336 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,822 Mail call 337 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,950 His name is Oscar, and he's got some mail 338 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:37,996 And he better open it or go to jail, 'cause it's your taxes 339 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,165 His name is Kevin, and no mail for him 340 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,502 But he got a coupon for some frozen yogurt 341 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,505 Are those the lyrics? 342 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,424 "Anderson's Three Pillars of Retail." 343 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,759 Crucial. So important 344 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,221 Next 345 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,807 Are there any questions? 346 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,477 What are the Three Pillars of Retail? 347 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,773 Convenience Ingredients. 348 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,859 Service Burgers. 349 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,027 Building loyalty 350 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,194 Killing royalty 351 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,488 But truth be told we should really 352 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,282 disregard Anderson's Three Pillars 353 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,243 He was later diagnosed with dementia 354 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,121 You know what is important? 355 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:24,625 Is Dwight's pillars and there's only one, desire 356 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,588 Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? 357 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,715 Not just succeed in it but to dominate. 358 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,134 And looking around this room I'm not so sure that we do 359 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,218 But we can get there 360 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,431 And I can lead us there, and that is all that matters 361 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,142 Very true. Where there's a will, there's a way. 362 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,936 A passionate night 363 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,731 with Hugh Grant's brother John Grant 364 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:50,151 He's older than Hugh just a little bit uglier. 365 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,527 How did I pull that off? 366 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,113 Sheer force of will 367 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,490 That is very good, Dwight 368 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,867 Thank you very much Any other questions? 369 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,911 Jim 370 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,537 You are bleeding through your shirt 371 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:03,956 Oops 372 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,836 That's embarrassing Egg on my face 373 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:11,672 Ah 374 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,468 Hey, having fun? 375 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,595 Yes, I am as a matter of fact 376 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:20,515 Oh, I know how it is I know it's a lot of fun 377 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,683 I don't know how it is. Andy, this is a lame job 378 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,143 What are you doing here? 379 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:31,859 Andy, when I was 12 years old we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. 380 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:37,573 I was in love with her 381 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,035 But when the sun came up I knew it wasn't real 382 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,247 because she was ugly and I had grown tired of her 383 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,707 Reception today 384 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,417 but tomorrow you won't want to do her 385 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,002 She's a dog 386 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,839 Guys, I don't like this analogy 387 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,509 Oh, fine 388 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:03,683 Did you see this? 389 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:04,767 It's nice 390 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,439 How are you feeling? 391 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,816 Amazing 392 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,401 Just lost four ounces of appendix 393 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,069 already replaced it with muscle. 394 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,280 Can I see the wound? 395 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,955 Oh, that's disgusting That's barely healed. 396 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,000 You're not paying me to heal You're paying me to kick ass 397 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,754 A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet 398 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,132 That's right That is amazing 399 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,466 Todd, look at that 400 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,843 Oh, yikes 401 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,052 Incoming 402 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,262 Not so fast 403 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,930 Would you come in early tomorrow 404 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,099 so we could talk about the store over breakfast? 405 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:48,227 A lot to offer. 406 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,604 It would be an honor, ma'am 407 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,648 I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op checkup right now 408 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,904 the first was to make myself the clear candidate for Vice President 409 00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,656 I achieved that, no thanks to my appendix 410 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,618 The second was to find a memorable souvenir for Philip. 411 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,954 For that, I do have to thank my appendix 412 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,884 Dunder Mifflin, how can I help you save money on paper? 413 00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:21,636 This is Andrew 414 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,387 Hi, Andrew. What happened to Erin? 415 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,182 Oh, she's on an assignment in Florida for a couple weeks. 416 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,392 Oh, good for her. She's such a sweetheart. 417 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,686 You tell her Donna Moraski misses her. 418 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,735 Everyone, we have a very special guest 419 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:42,240 He turned an idea into a store into hundreds of stores 420 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:46,410 of Famous Amos cookies. 421 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,578 Yeah 422 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,334 So I hear you're all looking to 423 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,336 bake up some dough in the sales game. 424 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,422 Well, back when I was regular Amos 425 00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,632 What's under the cloth? 426 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,175 We'll get to that 427 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:02,760 Cookies. I bet you anything it's cookies 428 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,512 It's cookies 429 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,973 Let me finish my speech first 430 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,643 Oh, we get the gist It's just success and effort, isn't it? 431 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,562 So just don't be coy. Make with the cookies 432 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,524 Cookies 433 00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,443 Famous, hi 434 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,154 I'm sure you get ideas for new cookies all the time 435 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:25,449 But I... Is it oatmeal with no raisins? 436 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,659 I'm sorry to have wasted your time 437 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:27,868 That's okay Thank you very much