Kind of Love"]
Pain is cleansing.
Release the pain in the flesh.
She never loved us.
She didn't love me, either.
Let the sacred nectar prepare the body
to fulfill the prophecy.
To enter the next life in purity and perfection.
Now let the mind be clear,
releasing all the guilt and hurt and deceptions
into the old life.
Tide's coming in.
Did you just take another Vyvanse?
We need to focus if we're going to figure out
- who Dylan went to kill. - You're so manic right now.
Why would he leave a note if he went to kill someone?
It's not like we can ask him.
As you can see from Exhibit A,
he literally threw his phone into the ocean.
And no one's answering at his house.
That's because the phone only works in the store,
and his moms are away on a yoga retreat.
Exhibitthis all started when he got back from MIT,
where he def learned to clone phones and hack.
Let's not forget, Ted Bundy was a gifted person.
As are you, clearly.
My mom still talks about my disappointing math scores.
Exhibiteveryone knows goats have devil eyes.
So you're saying Dylan's a math genius psycho
or a devil-worshipping psycho?
It's not funny.
He's the one who lured us to Clara's,
which is how Riley ended up dead.
Yeah, which is why we should be worried about him
instead of being suspicious.
I understand you guys are close after your cringe sex.
- Just because he was a virgin doesn't make him innocent. - Th...
That has nothing to do with this.
Look, we've all been through a lot, but we all know
- that Clara's the murderer.
Who is it?
Uh, it's probably just a telemarketer.
- What...
What if my theory is sleep-deprived drivel
- and Dylan's in trouble?
- Hello? - Lennon?
It's not Dylan.
Unless he grew titties.
We should've
- ran Clara out when we had the chance! - Yeah!
That spider eater's been roaming our streets
- for 25 years! - Hey, hey!
Listen, listen. I know that everyone is scared, okay?
But we all got to stay calm.
- All right, all right. Step aside.
- Let her through, come on. - Thank you. I know.
Thank you, thank you. Listen.
I know that you are all concerned.
It is very possible that Clara has a hostage with her.
Local girl by the name of Riley Thacker.
Who is the sweetest fucking thing you've ever met.
Anyone sees any sign of them or anything suspicious,
please call the station or tell Bruce.
This'll be our search headquarters.
- He will be our liaison. - Give me a minute.
I'll have sandwiches and coffee for everyone.
- Please don't take matters into your own hands.
Mom.
We got nothing.
Just brain-eating spiders and unanswered APBs.
Courtney came to me yesterday.
Yeah, she came to me, too.
I told her Riley was gonna be okay.
Fuck.
You know, when you were with Clara...
I know it was a long time ago,
but did she have a boat or...
some other way to get off the island?
Not that I can remember.
No idea where the hell she could be?
No, Wherever it is,
she'll die before she ever lets anyone get in the way
of what she believes.
Hello?
Mom?
I asked you not to call me that.
Oh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.
I just, I needed to talk to you about something, and...
There's nothing I want to know.
I told you not to contact me again.
I'm gonna hang up now.
- No, please just, uh... - Nothing you say will change anything.
We discussed this.
- Mom? - I'll be there in a second, sweetie.
You ha-you have a son?
Goodbye, Lennon.
- Where's your ribbon? - What?
The ribbon you said you were getting for my crime mirror.
Uh, I forgot.
What's wrong, bb?
Um...
The-the woman that called earlier...
It was my mom.
What?
How is that possible?
Hasn't she been dead for, like, ever?
That-That's what my dad came to tell me yesterday--
that, um...
She never committed suicide.
She...
she just left.
Oh, my God. This cannot be happening in real life.
But it is, and she left with that guy, Fred,
from the cult.
The best man from LinkedIn?
- I spent my whole life thinking that she was the only one
who ever loved me, and, um...
...turns out she full-on hates me.
Well, I full on despise her.
I-I mean, it's def illegal to fake your own death.
- We should call the police right now. - No, no.
I-I don't want my-my dad to get in trouble.
Tea.
Well, we can just find someone
to put rotten shrimp down her chimney.
I heard about it someplace.
The point is
we can't just let her walk away pain-free.
Does she know about Alison?
She will now.
Exactly. Fuck her.
I need to go talk to my dad.
What you need is to make taquitos
and-and watch The Little Mermaid.
Like we did when Johnny broke up with me.
I'll be back. I just...
I need to stop by Dylan's, too.
- I need to make sure he's okay. - But w...
we decided we were safer here, together.
I know, I just...
just don't want to lose anyone else I love.
That includes you.
Lyla and her asshole buddy cops
didn't do shit for Courtney.
If they let Riri die, they can put me in jail
for beating her fucking face in.
Cream or sugar?
Can't afford both? What the fuck?
Take all you want.
Hey.
- Um, I need you to help find Dylan. - Dylan?
Lyla's got everyone searching for Riley.
Um, it's too late for Riley.
How do you know that?
Just...
I just, I-I really thought I could handle it,
and, um...
now all these people are dead.
I should have told you after I found the goat head,
but I-I promised everyone, and I didn't want to worry you
and then Johnny happened,
I saw you with Lyla, and I just, like, I didn't trust
that you wouldn't tell her, and...
- and I was so mad about you and mom, and... - It's okay.
I mean, it's not okay, but you're safe.
That's what's most important.
And what about Dylan?
He wasn't at his house.
We have no way to get in touch with him.
What-what if Clara got him?
What's up?
Hey, it's me. Um...
This is a long shot, but...
I just thought of some place Clara might be.
He said it was in the back,
hidden between some rocks.
Kalama.
Right behind you, Chief.
Oh, my God.
Chief, there's someone else.
Clara.
My dad said Clara suffocated herself with honey.
- So twisted.
Oh, my God, Dylan. Hi.
Thank God you're okay. Hey.
Um...
I just came to get my stuff.
Um, where the fuck were you?
I mean, you look rout.
- Like you've been through something bad. - It's over.
Okay, that's not a legit answer to any question ever asked.
They-they found Riley.
I know. I was in the cave when Clara brought her in.
- Seriously? - How are you even standing here?
I escaped through one of the lava tubes
that led up to the hive.
Like their own secret passageway to death.
Hey, um, we're-we're just glad you're okay.
Of course. Tea. That's... that's what matters.
It's over.
I heard Clara put a tarantula
in her prison purse.
Are you referring to the Arctic wolf spider
she put in her brain?
Yeah.
Same thing.
I'm gonna miss you, baby girl.
And they better fucking treat you right in heaven.
Or I'm coming up there.
You could've been the next Tua.
Ugh, he would despise that pic.
First concert we went to as a couple.
I should have known.
I always knew.
I mean, all football players are kind of gay, right?
I miss you, my Johnny.
Hi.
Hey.
You okay?
I don't know.
There's nothing you could have done.
Could have taken Courtney seriously.
Clara had been waiting for this for 25 years.
Nothing would have stopped her.
Why Doug?
He didn't suspect her at all.
I listened to all your...
...shit headbanger music to make this.
I still think it sucks.
I'm sorry.
I should have been a better friend.
I will be.
Next time.
Love you forever, Riri.
I have to go.
Right now?
Tomorrow... my mom's
sending me back to the Hoffman Institute.
Uh, the Zen retreat
loony bin place I went to
after my breakdown at USC.
Babe, what happened?
I started mukbanging again.
What's mukbanging?
It's basically like binge eating for an audience.
- Of, like, millions. - That sounds bad.
Sorry, Margot.
I just don't deal with grief very well.
Hopefully, three weeks of
intensive and technology-free therapy will help.
Gonna miss you.
Me too.
Me too, you guys.
You think we'll ever stop missing them?
Right now all I feel is sad.
At least they're free.
What?
Their souls are free of pain.
I mean, some of them.
Praying that's just some weird woo-woo mom shit, but
be careful with that one while I'm gone, will you?
when it knows...
I am so happy I could die!
Me, too. You look shit, like, reborn.
- Oh, honestly, so refreshed.
And so much tea.
My roommate was low-key recovering
- from her addiction to Timothée Chalamet.
Wait, um, I-I need to tell Dylan, uh...
- Uh-huh. - I told him I'd find him as soon as you got here.
Find My Friends.
You guys got next-level.
Who else was I gonna hang out with?
My dad and the chief went legit.
- Ew. - I know.
Where is he?
Why bees?
Because they make honey.
And they pollinate flowers like these.
But what about the stings?
No, the stings are just
to protect them. Just like this
is gonna protect you over your bed.
Will it work in Tampa?
Do you dream in Tampa?
- Works wherever you dream.
Hey!
New boy band?
Oh, Lennon beat me at Monopoly.
What? They're hot and you know it.
Well, uh, let me know if you want me to set you up
with my nail lady. I mean, those cuticles...
- I'm happy you're back. - Aw.
- Hey, Mom, I'm gonna take off, okay? - Have fun.
And stay away from the meat products.
That means no playing with your sausage, Dylan.
- Come on!
Ooh, I've got a treat for you.
MDMA, your fave.
- Weren't you just in rehab? - Uh, mental health retreat.
Where do you think I got it?
Serotonin's very therapeutic.
No. Thanks.
Mm, look at you,
inhaling in public.
I got a prescription.
"Empress Touch"]
- Sorry.
- I got it, I got it, I got it. - So bad.
- Oh. - Oh. - Oh.
your empress touch...
- Did I tell you my mom got me a therapy dog?
- I named him "Cheeto." - Fuck! Why didn't you bring him?
I tried to leash him and I don't think he likes me anymore.
- Order's up. - Thanks.
Ooh, it's so pretty.
- Let me try it.
Hey, biatches. I know you missed me.
Well, I'm back with my Lemony.
Mmm.
And our OG BFF-- the deeper Seth Cohen.
He still doesn't understand my love language.
- I'm gonna go find a seat. - Whatever.
Like or comment for more.
- I need that inside of me.
Oh, so cold.
I never told you who bought Snak 'n Stuff.
- Your dad?
- As if. No, the Davenports,
- so that Connor can build his future. - Oh.
That place is a literal magnet for your type.
- Say that again and I will end you.
Oh, right. Forgot you love simps now.
No, we're just friends.
Well, I hope your friend hates your mom as much as we do.
Oh, he doesn't know.
Smart.
Uh, as much as we love him,
he can be a tad... unstable.
Thank you.
You never heard from her after the obit, huh?
Not surprising.
This woman who pretended to be dead doesn't give a shit
that her daughter died.
Cunt.
Hi.
That looks good.
I hear there's a wedding in your future.
I haven't said yes yet.
Oh, she will.
- How could she not?
You must let me host the bachelorette.
Oh, yeah, for sure. There's nothing I love more
than smell of male strippers.
- Oh! Oh, my God!
Wow. That is so impressive.
Oh, my God.
Uh, for Cheeto?
Oh.
So sweet, but Cheeto only likes natural fibers.
Guys, let's get out of here.
Hello?
- What are you waiting for? - Sorry, sweetie.
I beat the hell out of this face. No way.
I'm going.
Seriously?
- Just being true to my best self. - Whoa!
Okay.
Oh, my God.
- Hey there. - No, no, no... Aah!
Whoa! Watch out, just now.
- Because I... - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
The fuck, Kyle?!
Your mom's waiting in the Rover.
Lennon? Dylan?
Ooh!
- You almost killed me!
- Well, you're stronger than you look.
I got to go!
- What? - No!
- No! You just got back! - I know.
My mom's being a literal tiger mom.
Want to sleep over?
What's up? Are you guys taking off?
I think I'm gonna hang for a while, but, um, maybe tomorrow.
- Just me and you? - Definitely.
- Oh, no... - Love you!
- Keep my girlie safe!
Bye!
Hyah!
on balconies...
Well, that was fun.
Yeah, for sure.
Um...
Uh, your, um... your hoodie.
Do you want to come inside and hang
- while I put it in the dryer? - Uh...
We could just, like, um... we could talk or, uh...
That's okay. You can give it to me tomorrow.
Okay, cool. Yeah.
Um, yeah, thanks for the ride.
Uh... yeah, sure.
I'll see you later.
- Jesus. Mm. - I'm sorry.
- Sorry. - D...
Dylan, what the fuck?
I just...
changed my mind about coming in.
wandering by herself...
So, can I come in?
Yeah. I'll, um... I'll open the door.
Or not.
Okay. Watch this. Are you all right?
Yeah. I'm good.
need no help...
- Do you need some help? - No. Do you?
Do you like that?
Yeah, I mean... kind of.
now, she don't need no help...
Tell me what you want.
I mean, um...
I don't even know where to start.
If you don't want to do this, that's cool.
No. I, um...
I definitely want-want to do this.
at the end of the night...
Uh, I just don't have a...
Oh. I do.
to let it go...
I can't believe this is finally happening.
I mean... again.
give you my light...
It was better than last time, right?
Mm, different, for sure.
Okay.
What's your deepest, darkest secret?
Besides that.
Mm-hmm.
One time, in fifth grade, I told everyone in class
Delilah Bennett farted
- when it was really me.
And she got teased the whole day.
Seriously, that's your worst?
That's who I was.
Or thought I was, before.
I bet yours is... more interesting.
Ah, I don't know.
I could make you tell.
Stop.
Okay, okay, okay.
You look so beautiful right now.
That's 'cause it's me.
- Hi, you.
No, um...
I mean, it...
it's-it's, um, it's me, Dylan.
It's me, Alison.
That's not funny.
It's-it's true. I-I swear, um...
Okay, remember in-in Ms. Mitchell's class
when she made us stay after to wash the paint off the...
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Look, um, I'm sorry.
I've-I've... I've been wanting to tell you.
That night?
I was, um...
I was so mad at her for having sex with you.
And then we got in this huge fight,
and she wasn't even sorry.
And then I took her jacket and then you guys got in the car
and I-I think I was in shock.
And then the next thing I knew, I was in Michigan,
living this whole other life.
Living her life.
Look, I-I still miss her every day.
But then I-I remember how many times
she told me to get a fucking life, and...
and that I was smart and special and...
Look, I know it sounds insane, but...
I know this is what she would have wanted.
Before or after
you let her bleed out on the side of the road?
That's not what happened. She was already dead.
You-you know that. It was an accident.
Stealing her identity wasn't.
Lying to me wasn't. Letting me think
it was my fault she was on the road that night wasn't.
You had so many chances to tell the truth.
Okay, look, I-I wanted to. You wouldn't talk to me.
Do not blame me for your fucking lies!
Okay, I... I'm not. I'm not. I'm sorry.
I mean, did it turn you on
to fuck me while you pretended to be somebody else?
No. I-I wanted to tell you before.
Look, that's why I'm telling you now,
so that we don't have any secrets.
Do you know what you did to me?
What I did because of you?
What-what does that even mean?
- What did you do? - I should have known
you and Margot were playing some sick game.
No. Margot has nothing to do with this. She doesn't know.
D-Dylan, look, nobody does, and if anyone found out, you know
- what would happen. - Why should I give a shit
what happens to you? I don't even know you.
I'm sorry I'm not your sad pixie dream girl.
I'm-I'm fucked up.
I've always been fucked up, but I'm still Alison,
the person you said you loved.
You're not the Alison I knew.
Seriously? And who are you?
Someone I never wanted to be.
What does... what does that even mean?
What happened that night when Clara died,
when you were in the cave with her?
I set her free.
We should go to Kauai,
do something small with your mom and the kids.
You're really freaking me out right now.
Come on. After the summer we've had?
You don't want to do something a little romantic?
You want to know what I want?
A big-ass rock.
- Like J. - Lo's.
- What's that-- ten carats, 15?
I got meaty fingers.
Okay. Yeah, I knew that would scare you off.
Oh, not at all.
Big rock.
I got it. See you tomorrow.
You're-you're literally running away on your cold-ass feet?
Love you.
Cheeto, this is what happens
when the drugs wear off.
Ooh.
Mmm.
Don't tell Mom. She doesn't approve of processed sugars.
Okay. Stay, okay?
Hey, Cheeto? Sit.
Good boy.
Mmm.
You want a bite, Cheeto?
Cheeto?
Cheeto.
Cheeto?
Cheeto.
Cheeto?
Hello?
Aah!
I'll take care of it. Just, uh...
stick to the story, okay?
Listen, I have something to deal with, then I'll be home.
Thanks, Dad.
And, uh, keep me posted about Margot.
Maybe a bit more symmetry when you're in there.
Thank you.
Lennon. She'll be so happy to see you.
Oh, what happened?
She tripped over the dog.
You know how many times I told her not to quit ballet?
Margot? Hey.
- You came.
Oh, babe.
Does it look bad?
No.
My mom won't let anyone but the plastic surgeon touch it.
I mean... it is my face.
You still look beautiful.
Someone pushed me.
What? Your-your mom said you-you tripped.
Shh. If I told her the truth, she'd send me away again,
or call the police.
And-and what would-what would I tell them?
That someone tried to kill me because we killed Alison?
Do you... I... Do you really think it's about that?
Everything has been fine since Clara died.
Maybe it wasn't her and whoever it was
was just waiting for me to come home.
And you didn't you see anything?
I bet Cheeto did.
- If only dogs could talk. - I'm sorry.
I should have been there with you.
Hi, Margot.
Let's put that pretty face back together
and get you out of here.
"Spill My Guts"]
What the fuck are you doing here?
to your face...
You should have told me our daughter died.
I'm gonna look heinous.
It's not possible.
Thanks for being with me, Lemon.
It's where I want to be.
to your face...
Come closer.
I-I don't... I don't want to hurt you.
You won't.
You're supposed to be dead.
But I'm not.
Can I help you, sir?
I need to speak to the chief.
Sorry. She won't be in 'till morning.
- I'll wait. - Great.
Have a seat for me over there, please.
You have them, too.
Whee!